The Rural Voice, 2005-12, Page 14The
world's
problems
are
solved
daily
'round
the table
at
Mabel's.
"You know for the first time in
my life I think I might actually envy
the groundhog," said Dave Winston
the other morning.
"What, you want to crawl into a
hole in the ground and be infested
with whatever bug crawls in with
you?" wondered George McKenzie.
"Well a hole looks pretty good
right now with another election
coming up already," said Dave.
"Even better is the idea of going to
sleep and not waking up until at least
February 2 when the election will be
all over."
"I figure with an election
campaign coming up there'll be so
many dumb things said that make me
Mabel's Grill
smash my head against the wall that I
may be in a coma and miss the whole
thing," said Cliff Murray.
"1 thought maybe when you were
envying the groundhog you were
thinking of hibernating to miss the
heating bills," said Mabel. "I got my
first load of oil the other day and I
figure going to Florida doesn't look
so expensive after all."
"Maybe you should be looking at
vacationing in Venezuela instead,"
said George. "I was reading that
down there that gas is so cheap, a
litre costs about the same as one
egg."
"Sounds good as long as you go
without breakfast," said Mabel.
"Yeh, what I'd like to know is if
the gas is cheap or the egg is
expensive," said Cliff.
"Gas is about four cents a litre,"
said George.
"Imagine if we had parity like that
here," said Cliff. "That'd be, what,
about $9.60 a dozen for eggs?"
"Good lord the egg producers
would be even richer than they are
now," said George.
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10 THE RURAL VOICE
"Think of the vacations they could
afford to take," said Dave.
"I don't know about vacations.
Did you hear about the cruise ship
that got attacked by pirates off
Somalia?" asked Molly Whiteside as
she delivered Cliffs muffin.
"Yeh, I figure there's one bright
side to the money I lost in the BSE
crisis and the money I'm not making
because of rotten crop prices," said
George. "Because I didn't have
money to go on vacation I missed the
pirates, I wasn't in Thailand when the
tsunami hit, I missed the hurricanes
in Mexico, Florida and New Orleans
and I wasn't in Paris for the riots."
"Sad about that over there," said.
Cliff. "All those people they brought
into the country to fill cheap jobs but
they don't feel like they really belong
there."
"Yeh, we're different here. We
send all our cheap jobs to China,"
said Dave.
"And India," said George. "Ever
notice when some telemarketer calls
you these days they have an Indian
accent?"
"Yeh, I heard they're sending a lot
of that telemarketing work to India,"
said Molly. "Imagine somebody
calling you from the other side of the
world to sell you a credit card. It
doesn't make sense."
"Sure it does," said Dave. "Where
else but India could they find enough
people to call every single Canadian
home at supper time?"
"I guess we can expect more
telemarketers when the election
campaign starts," said George.
"And noxious TV commercials,"
said Cliff.
"Yeh but at least you can change
channels for those," said Dave.
"And get another commercial on
the other channel," said Molly.
"I hear the companies are trying to
get around that by getting plugs for
their products worked right into the
story of the show," said Mabel.
"Yeh," said Molly, "on Corner
Gas the characters are going to tell
you what they wish for from the
Sears Wish Book.".
"Frankly," said Dave, "my wish is
that all the politicians would take a
cruise together and pirates would
kidnap them."0
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