The Rural Voice, 2005-06, Page 14The
world's
problems
are
solved
daily
'round
the table
at
Mabel 's.
"Never trust a politician,"
grumbled George McKenzie as he
hung his jacket on the back of the
chair at Mabel's the other morning.
"You still mad at Belinda
Stronach?" Cliff Murray wondered.
"Well that too, but I mean all this
global warming they keep talking
about," said George. "Seems like the
more they talk about it the more cold
springs we get."
"Yeh, here we are with weather
cool enough that you actually might
think about watching a hockey game
in late May and there's no hockey on
TV," said Dave Winston.
"We did have a few warm days,"
Cliff reminded them.
"Yeh, but Belinda's to blame we
Mabel's Grill
didn't get more," said George.
"How'd you figure that?" Cliff
wondered.
"Well you noticed we got that
nice warm weather just after all that
hot air the politicians were spouting
over non -confidence vote," said
George. "If they'd kept it up a little
longer — say if they'd had an
election — the warm weather might
have kept up. But no, Belinda had to
prop up the Liberals and we're left in
the cold."
Dave snorted. "If you think you're
in the cold, think how Peter MacKay
feels."
"I thought you'd be happy not see
$300 million of your taxpayer dollars
spent on an election." Cliff said to
George.
"Hey, I'm a beef farmer," said
George. "It wouldn't be my tax
money that got spent."
"They'd probably find a way,"
said Dave. "Take it out of your CAIS
money or something."
"Why not?" said George. "They
take everything else out of the CAIS
money. Get some help for BSE, they
take it away from you in CAIS. Get
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Market Revenue? They take it away
from your CAIS."
"Kind of disproves that saying
about not being able to squeeze blood
from a stone, doesn't it?" said Dave.
"'They manage to get money from
you when you're so broke you have
to ask them for help."
"And then they'll boast about how
much they spend helping you," said
George.
"And announce the same money
three times," said Cliff.
"At least that's helping the hot air
quotient," said Dave. "All that should
kick-start global warming."
"The problem with this global
warming thing is that you can't
predict what effect it will have," said
Cliff. "I mean if our temperature
actually went up it sounds good but
I've heard people predicting northern
Europe could actually get really cold
because the current that takes all the
warm water from the Caribbean up
past England might stop flowing."
"Which dippy environmentalist
came up with that whopper?" George
snorted.
"No doubt somebody living in the
city," said Dave. "You ever noticed
that people live in the city, the most
unnatural environment there is, then
talk to us about what we should be
doing to improve the environment?"
"Yeh, somebody's always
lecturing us farmers and fishermen
and trappers about how we're ruining
nature," grumbled George.
"I think a lot of city people
actually believe it," said Cliff. "They
figure if you can walk to work you're
doing nature a great favour. If you
clean up a stream you're an
environmental saint."
"And if you actually live in
nature, if you know what it looks
like, you're an environmental rapist,"
said George. "You plant trees and
help them clean up the air they
pollute and do you get any credit?
No! That's what we're supposed to
do!."
"Well maybe all this fuss over the
environment and Kyoto will put
some money in our pockets if we can
sell carbon credits for those trees
you're planting," said Cliff.
"Ha! If we did the government
would take it out of CAIS,"
grumbled George.0