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10 TI --E RURAL VOICE
Mabel's Grill
The
world's
problems
are
solved
daily
'round
the table
at
Mabel's.
"The only good thing I can say for
this election is the hot air might dry
things out and let me get my crops
in," said Cliff Murray the other
morning as he sat down in Mabel's.
"Well we sure need something to
get this global warming thing going,"
said George McKenzie. "They keep
promising us it's going to get warmer
but this is the second bad spring in a
row."
"They say the problem with global
warming is that it's not as simple as
things getting warmer," Cliff said.
"What happens is that as the
atmosphere warms up you get more
extremes and more violent weather."
"Well it sure has been extreme
this year," said Dave Winston. "I feel
like I'm on a roller coaster with the
temperature going up and down."
"I think I'll skip going to those
crop meetings next winter," said
Geerge. "I mean every year they tell
me I should be getting my crops in
earlier to get better yields and then
the weather gets rotten and I can't
plant and all I can do is sit there and
watch the rain and think of all the
money I'm losing."
"There's not much you can do
about the weather," said Dave.
"I won't he surprised if some
party leader in the election promises
they can," said Cliff. "They're
promising everything else."
"Now a politician who could
improve the weather would be one to
vote for," said George.
"Yeh, he might even qualify for
that 'Greatest Canadian' contest the
CBC's been running," said Dave.
"Did you notice there wasn't one
person among all those ads about
who could be nominated that had
anything to do with producing food?"
said George. "I mean they're naming
politicians and writers and musicians
but there's not one person who feeds
them."
"Aw, if they were going to name
some person involved in food it
would probably be Galen Weston or
Harrison McCain or some celebrity
chef," said Cliff.
"I'm going to nominate George so
there will be at least one farmer in
the race," said Dave.
"Now you're talking," laughed
George.
"Oh please, he already thinks too
much about himself," said Molly
Whiteside as she refilled Cliff's cup.
"Hey, hey, let's show some
respect here," said George in mock
indignity. "A nomination as the
greatest Canadian should at least get
me a free coffee."
"If you win I might give you a
free coffee," said Mabel. "But only if
you wear a "Mabel's Grill" T-shirt
when they take your picture.
"Hey, my price is going to be a lot
higher than a free coffee and T-shirt,"
said George.
"Who said anything about a free
T-shirt," replied Mabel.
"I mean if I'm a greater Canadian
than Wayne Gretzky, I should at least
get some endorsements for Ford."
"Maybe Kia but not Ford or GM
or Chrysler," said Cliff.
"Or maybe some ATV maker,"
said Dave.
"The way you guys keep
devaluing me it won't be worth
winning anyway," said George.
"Well I'd guess you won't be
getting much competition for the
farmers' vote from Percy Schmeiser
anyway, not now that he's lost in the
Supreme Court," said Dave.
"Yeh it was a nice try but you
can't get away with stealing," said
George.
"Yeh but he claims the canola
blew onto his property and he didn't
steal anything," said Cliff. "He just
kept the seed and replanted it the way
farmers have been doing for
thousands of years,
"Oh yeh right," said George. "I
mean would you take me to court if
some of your cattle wandered onto
my farm and I decided I could keep
them?"
"It would never go that far," said
Cliff. "I mean the canola was worth
something. The cattle aren't." 0