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The Rural Voice, 2003-07, Page 16T5 SOLTI110 Tree Marking, Advertising, Woodlot Assessments, Management Plans Desboro, Ontario 519-794-9992 Paris, Ontario 519-442-3102 Shelburne, Ontario 519-925-2264 1-888-923-9995 t Iq/ _ _ &Owe4 - fY B oo Iu f at the Listowel Fair July 17th - 206, 2003 "'k/lre/te tle %ewe /1 &se evsea4 deet" July 17h Opening with Parade at 6:30 pm. Opening Ceremonies at the Grandstand, Ambassador Competition, Entertainment 'Local Youth Talent', Hamecraft exhibits and judging. July 18th Seniors' Day Entertainment by 'The Saints' and 'Irish Dancing", Loonie and Twoonie day at the midway starts at 4 pm, Kids' pedal Tractor Pull & CONCERT AT THE GRANDSTAND, "Corporate Tribute Concert" Country Music. July 19th Kids' Day, Dairy Show, Heavy Horse Show, Baby Show, Kelly the Klown & Dave Marcel & his 'Drums Around the World", Antique Tractor Show July 20'h Westem Horse Show, Dairy Goat Show, Galaxy of the Stars 'Ontario Youth Talent Show', Demolition Derby, Antique Tractor Parade To receive your FREE Fair schedule call 519-291-2776 12 THE RURAL VOICE Mabel's Grill The world's problems are solved daily 'round the table at Mabel 's. "I'll have a burger," said George when he walked in the other morning. "At 10 in the morning?" wondered Molly Whiteside as she poured his cup of coffee before he even got to the table. "Somebody's got to eat up all the extra beef with the border closed," he shot back. "Hope you've got a big appetite," said Cliff Murray. "I think you might need a little help to eat that much." "Well I'm sure not going to get it from my family," said George. "We had a family reunion on the weekend. I was talking to my cousin about all the problems BSE has caused us and my sister's daughter butted in and said she'd never eat beef these days because it was too dangerous. Dangerous! This is a girl who drives one of those little sports cars like she was Paul Tracy and she worries about the danger of getting mad cow disease?" "Did you tell her that?" asked Dave Winston. "I did, and she said there wasn't any comparison," said George. "I said for once we agreed." "Sometimes the way people think I start wondering if their brains aren't already infected with something," said Dave. "I mean all those people who won't go to Montreal because there's SARS in Toronto! Give me a break." "Anyway, my niece tells me this whole mad cow thing has got her thinking of becoming a vegetarian," said George. "Well then you can sell her your soybeans instead of your beef," said Cliff. "No I can't," replied George. "She's afraid of spray residues so she says she's looking at eating only organic." "Has a good job, does she?" Dave wondered. "Oh it's not that expensive to eat organic," scoffed Cliff. "She's a lawyer," said George. "Anyway, we're talking and she's telling me how she wants to get back to nature one minute and then the next she's telling me about her new condo on the 25th floor overlooking Toronto harbour. I said that didn't seem too close to nature to me. She told me what a wonderful view she has of all that water." "Until the smog rolls in," said Dave. "So she's telling me how we have to get in touch with nature and along comes a June bug and lands on her shoulder and she nearly has a conniption. You'd think it was some animal escaped from Jurassic Park to hear her carry on," laughed George. "Don't you just love family reunions," said Cliff. "I think I'd rather walk through a minefield in Iraq than try to find safe things to talk about at a family reunion." "You're telling me," said George. "I was grumbling to my brother about all this fuss about gays and lesbians wanting to get married and my niece jumps into that one too. 'What's wrong with people who love each other getting married?' she wondered." "Well, what is the problem?", asked Molly. "People get married to have kids," said George. "My grandmother got married at 75," said Molly. "You think she's going to have kids?" "The thing that's kind of funny about all this is that fewer and fewer people are getting married these days but it's so important for these people to be able to get married," said Dave. "It's like cows you let out into a new field," explained Cliff. "The first thing they do is try to find a way through the fence. Tell them they can't do something and that's what they want." "Yeh, as soon as they get the right to marry then there'll be a lot more gay divorcees," said Dave. "Which will make my niece even richer," said George. "She's a divorce lawyer."0