The Rural Voice, 2000-10, Page 16CANADIAN
CO-OPERATIVE
WOOL GROWERS
LIMITED
.AV.'s.4.0
44.SIN',
Now Available
WOOL ADVANCE PAYMENTS
" Skirted Fleeces
Well -Packed Sacks
For more information contact:
WINGHAM
WOOL DEPOT
John Farrell
R.R. 2. Wingham, Ontario
Phone:Fax 519-357-1058
FARM b, MUNICIPAL
DRAINAGE
Specializing in:
• Farm & Municipal Drainage
• Clay & Plastic Tile Installations
• Backhoe & Dozer Service
• Septic System Installations
For Quality, Experience,
& Service cal/.'
Wayne Cook
(519) 236-7390
R.R2 Zurich, Ont.
NOM 2T0
PARKER
PARKER
L 1 M ITE Co
www.hay.net/-drainage
12 THE RURAL VOICE
Mabel
's Grill
"I've got an idea for a TV series,"
said Dave Winston the other morning
when people were discussing the
outcome of the Survivor series.
"So have I," said Molly
Whiteside, delivering the orders
round the
table. "How
about a bunch
of grouchy
guys who sit
around a ,
restaurant
grumping
about prices
and the
weather and
the govern-
ment?"
"They
already got
something like
that," said
Wayne Bruce.
The world's
problems are
solved daily
'round the table
at MabeI's
"It's called the Parliamentary
Channel."
"No, my show's a game show like
Survivor," said Dave. "Only instead
of the last guy out getting a million
dollars, all my contestants would
start out with a million dollars, but
they'd have to work an Ontario farm
for three years. Anybody who had
any money left could keep it."
"No eating rats, I hope," said
Molly.
"I don't know, it might be a useful
tlavour to get used to on a farm,"
said George McKenzie.
"No, no rats, just weather and
neighbours who complain about the
smell of your manure and
internationally -depressed prices and
consumers who want everything
perfectly tasty but with no fat on it
and produced by animals that don't
poop," said Dave.
"Who gets to vote people off the
island?" Molly wondered.
"The banker," came a chorus from
around the table.
"I don't know how you'd win'this
one," said George. "I might have said
you could grow marijuana but I hear
the OPP saying the weather's so bad
even that crop has failed."
"I figure I might be able to win,"
said Cliff Murray. "You just keep the
barn empty and don't plant anything
in the fields."
"Yeh but then the township
council — that's the equivalent of
the tribal council — they come
around and tell you you've got to
spray all your weeds whether you've
got any crop planted or not so you're
out the money for that," said Dave.
"Yeh but a million dollars still
buys a lot of weed spray," said
George. "You just might come out
the winner, Cliff."
"Yeh, but you've got to buy a
farm with that money and pay the
mortgage," suggested Dave.
"Buy the farm and farm it for a
measly million," said George,
"you've got to be kidding!"
"Sounds like a lot of money to
me," said Wayne, getting ready to go
back to his store. "I could just invest
a million and live off the interest."
"Yeh, but you're not a farmer are
you?" said George. "We do
productive things."
"Until the money's all gone," said
Cliff.
"See you have to understand the
economic laws of farming," said
George. "Farmers are people who
alwtys pay more and more for
everything they buy, but never get
any more for what they sell. You'd
have to go back a long way to find a
time we actually got less money for
our crops then we've got lately."
"In other words, you're stupid,"
said Wayne. "No self-respecting
businessman would even attempt to
run a business like that."
"Yeh, you're probably right," said
Dave. "People keep telling us we
need to farm like it was a business
but if we ever really got businesslike,
everybody'd starve because there'd
be nobody producing food."
"And even when we're trying to
be as businesslike as possible,
somebody's going to tell us we've
got to stop thinking about making a
profit," said Cliff. "Now you take
that story the other day about how
McDonald's wants farmers to be
nicer to their chickens. Supposed to
treat them practically like people, for
heaven's sake."
"A long as the people they're
talking about aren't farmers," said
George. "I mean at least with
chickens they arrange the cages so
nobody shits on you."0