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12 THE RURAL VOICE
Mabel
's Grill
"I hope this gives me gas," said
Dave Winston the other morning as
Mabel delivered his bacon and eggs
for breakfast.
"You what?" asked Mabel.
"Usually you're complaining about
the food."
"Yeh, but
now I'd gladly
get cheap gas
anywhere,
even in my
stomach," said
Dave.
"I know
what you
mean," said
George
MacKenzie. "I
get queasy
every time I
fill up that new
truck of mine."
"Aw, I feel
sorry for you," chimed in Molly
Whiteside as she wiped an empty
table nearby. "Maybe if you drove
some little four -cylinder like me
instead of that big four-wheel drive,
club -cab monstrosity you've got
parked out there."
"Funny thing, you don't see many
of those little Nissan pick-ups
anymore do you?" said Cliff Murray.
"The prices keep up like this and
you'll see a lot more of them,"
grumbled George.
"Remember how we all gave up
the big cars and bought those little
compact imports back in the '70s
with gas prices went up?" asked
Dave.
"Yeh, but we were a lot skinnier
back then," said Mabel. "I don't
think I could squeeze into a Suzuki
Swift no matter how much money it
saved me on gas."
"It's not my pick-up I'm worried
about, it's my tractor," said Cliff.
"By the time I get this crop planted
my fuel dealer will get more out of it
than I will, especially at the price of
corn."
"Yeh, Mabel, you got anything on
the menu that gives you diesel fuel
instead of gas?" Dave wondered.
"Alright, I've got as good a sense
of humour as the next woman but
these insults are getting tiresome,"
said Mabel. "Some stranger might
The world's
problems are
solved daily
'round the table
at Mabel's
come in and take you seriously."
"Yeh people are getting a little
antsy about restaurants what with the
big health inspection crackdown in
Toronto," said Molly.
"Antsy, or mousey," wondered
George. "I saw a picture in the paper
of one kitchen and right on the
counter there was a mouse."
"Did you say mouse or moose,"
said Wayne Bruce.
"Mouse. stupid. What would a
moose be doing on a kitchen
counter," said George.
"I don't know, but I heard that
Mel Lastman has this plan to put 400
fibreglass moose around the city so
you never know where they might
turn up," said Wayne.
"Moose? What the hell are they
doing with fibreglass moose?"
George wondered.
"They're copying this big exhibit
they had in Chicago last summer
where they had artists decorate
fibreglass cows and people flocked to
see them," said Wayne. "Only
Toronto, wanting to be different, is
going to have moose."
"What the heck has a moose got to
do with Toronto?" wondered Molly.
"When was the last time you saw a
moose within 100 miles of Toronto?"
"I bet they didn't have many cows
in Chicago either," said Mabel.
"Now if they wanted something
that was symbolic of Toronto they
should have had hogs," said Dave.
"I'd gladly sell them some —
probably cheaper than the fibreglass
kind."
"Yeh but think of what the animal
rights people would say when the
artists went to decorate them," said
George.
"Interesting, wasn't it that when
that Toronto paper ran that picture of
the mouse in the restaurant
everybody got upset and wanted it
exterminated quick," said George. "I
didn't see a single protester outside
those restaurants from People for the
Ethical Treatment of Animals."
"They were all busy trying to
convince college students to drink
beer instead of milk because of the
abuse of dairy cows," said Cliff.
"Beer over milk — to college
students, now there was one
campaign they are likely to win."0