The Rural Voice, 2000-02, Page 16"I finally got it figured out what I
can grow this year to make money,"
said George McKenzie the other day
when the daily groaning session
began about low prices for corn and
soybeans and wheat and white beans
and every other crop known to man.
"You planting marijuana?" Dave
Winston asked.
"Nah, I'm too old to go to jail and
with my luck I'd be one of the 10 per
cent the police catch," George said.
"I'm getting to the point even that
looks attractive," said Dave. "It
might be the one way the government
would support me if they had to
provide my meals in jail."
"I think the market for my crop
might be the same people as for
marijuana but this one's legal, at least
unless the weed inspector comes
around," said George.
"Now you've got my attention.
said Cliff Murray. "What is this
crop?"
"Well I got the neighbour's mail
by mistake the other day and there
was a catalogue in there from this
herb seed place. Well there was
nothing on TV except some boring
Mabel's Grill
guy trying to become a millionaire so
I sat down and looked through it. So
what do I see? Burdock! Damn old
burdock at $9 for 10 grams of seed!
Dried burdock root at $4 for 25
grams! And I spent half my life
trying to kill the damn stuff!"
"I hope
your
neighbour _ 1KABEL ' s
didn't order ,,` =-Q• ��7 r
any of it,"
said Cliff.
"Tell him I
can I can
supply all he
wants at my
place," said
Dave.
"I think his
dog took
more than a
few seeds
back the last
time he wandered over to our place,"
said George:
"So why would anybody want to
plant burdock?" Dave wondered.
"Burdock root has blood purifying
properties," chimed in Molly
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12 THE RURAL VOICE
Whiteside as she delivered George's
daily dose of cholesterol in the form
of bacon and eggs. "People use it to
treat eczema and there's even some
evidence it works to fight tumours."
"I'll be damned," said Dave.
"So I flipped a few more pages
and there was evening primrose,"
said George. "Ten bucks for 100
grams!"
"Good for PMS," said Molly.
"And a couple of more pages and
there's lamb's quarters! Another $ I0
for 100 grams."
"It's a rich source of vitamins A
and C," said Molly.
"And mullin!," said George. "That
damn weed I can't get rid of and
they're charging $18 for 10 grams of
seed or three bucks a plant. And
they're selling dried leaves at four
bucks for 25 grams!"
"It's a good remedy for bronchitis,
hoarseness and coughs," said Molly.
"Well I'll tell you, it had me
coughing when I read that stuff," said
George. "I figure I just won't spray
my beans this year. When the weeds
come up, I'll harvest them and throw
the beans away."
"Yeh right, and it would be the
first time in history there was a crop
failure in weeds," Cliff said.
"Well more power to you if you
can find big city people stupid
enough to buy your weeds," said
Dave. "I mean I know there's money
in Toronto. I'm thinking of getting a
job on a farm down there myself."
"What do you mean a farm in
Toronto?" Molly asked.
"Well I was reading about fuss
over this farm they've got at
Riverdale, right in the downtown,'
said Dave. "People are all upset
because they're going to ship all the
animals to farms outside the city for
the winter, lay off the four guys who
are looking after them and save
$100,000 a year. I figure I can work
cheaper than that."
"Four guys! What have they got,
1,000 cow milking herd?" wondered
Cliff.
"Five cows, three horses and three
donkeys," said Dave.
"I'm sorry, but if anybody thinks
it takes four guys to look after a farm
that small there are a lot more than
three donkeys involved," said
George.0