The Rural Voice, 2001-09, Page 16McGillicuddy
1 . I 1. 1 11. Lou'stun
Chief Ezekial McGillicuddy, a
small-town police chief, must
deal with penny-pinching
politicians, an amorous
neighbour and a gang of
ingenious juvenile delinquents.
"A sweet triumph"
— London Free Press
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12 THE RURAL VOICE
Mabel
's Grill
"Well. I see the circus has moved
out of Walkerton." said Dave
Winston the other day after the
judicial inquiry ended.
"Great. isn't it'?" said George.
"The local people get sick and the
lawyers and journalists make a
fortune from
it."
"At least
some local
people must
have benefited
from the
inquiry." said
Mabel. "I
mean all those
people had to
eat."
."Yeh and
lawyers have
got to tip
better than
farmers," said
Molly Whiteside.
"I don't care how much they
tipped, they took a lot more money
home with them than they left in
Walkerton," said George.
"So what else is new?" wondered
Dave. "Sometimes I think the sole
purpose of us country people is to
create ways for city people to make'
big bucks."
"Yeh," said Cliff Murray, "right
now somebody somewhere is making
money on the futures market because
my crop is dying in the field because
of the drought."
"Glad somebody's making money
out of this, 'cause I'm sure not," said
George.
"I guess we have to be more
creative," said Dave. "I mean in
these days of value-added, consumer
convenience we should be able to
sell some of these crops as pre -
dried." #
"Or pre-shrunk," added Cliff.
"Or pre -fried," suggested Molly.
"Glad you can laugh," said
George. "I lost my sense of humour
about the end of July."
"Which year?" asked Dave.
"Which decade?" wondered
Molly.
"All right, all right," grumbled
George. "Find somebody else to pick
on."
"Maybe after this year you'll start
The world's
problems are
solved daily
'round the table
at Mabel's
believing we're into the climate
change the scientists have been
talking about." said Cliff.
"Ah, what's so different?" George
said. "I remember hot weather like
this back in the sixties."
"That's when he lost his sense of
humour." said Molly.
"I don't remember all this
pollution back then," said Cliff. "I
mean it's really great that Chicago
and Detroit and Toronto get the jobs
and we get the pollution."
"Yeh. people complain about the
smell of hog barns but that only
travels a mile or so," said Dave.
"Where are all the petitions about
smog from the cities'?"
"I doesn't matter if it kills you as
long as it doesn't smell bad." said
George.
"Well we could be out in Alberta
and having to smell all that gas go up
in smoke for days on end," said
Molly.
"Yeh, that'll probably drive up the
cost of fuel or fertilizer and I'll pay
for it next year," grumped George.
"Geeze, who let his little black
cloud in the door'?" wondered Molly.
"Okay, it's emergency time," said
Dave. "What can we Lind that would
cheer George up?"
"George, you just won the
lottery," Mabel said.
"Huh, probably only enough to
pay off the bank anyway. Even if it
was more, the relatives would come
out of the woodwork wanting some,"
growled George.
"They discovered oil on your back
40," Dave suggested.
"I'd have all those damned trucks
driving through scaring the cattle,"
said George.
"Julia Roberts called and she
wants to go out on a date with you,"
said Molly.
"Yeh, right! With her record with
men who wants to be the next Lyle
Lovett," George grumbled.
"I give up. We'll never make you
smile. Here, at least I can pick up the
tab for your breakfast," said Dave.
"Really? That's the best news I've
heard all day," beamed George.
"It's only $2.95," said Dave.
"Yeh, but unlike imaginary
lotteries or Julia Robertses, this will
stick with me all day," said George.0