The Rural Voice, 2001-08, Page 14McGillicuddy r
Uy Keith kouIston
Come enjoy this comic tale of the
trials of Chief Ezekial
McGillicuddy, a small-town police
chief who must deal with penny-
pinching politicians. an amorous
neighbour and a gang of
ingenious juvenile delinquents.
August 8 - September 15
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10 THE RURAL VOICE
Mabel's Grill
"Who's the kid with Clift'"
wondered Dave Winston as he
watched a stranger get out of Cliff
Murray's truck and come across
Mabel's parking lot.
"Kid? He must be at least 30,"
said Molly Whiteside.
"That's a
kid around
farming," said
George.
"Gents, I'd
like you to
meet Ross
Lawson," said
Cliff when the
two of them
came in and
sat down at
the table.
"He's moved
in next door at
the old
Davidson
place."
"Glad to meet you," the stranger
smiled.
"What kind of farming you in?"
wondered Dave.
"Oh a bit of everything for now,"
said Ross.
"Ah, city fella are you?" said
George.
"Well, yes. Joanie and I decided
we wanted to bring our kids up in the
fresh air of the country," Ross said.
"How'd you guess?"
"City people think farming is Old
Macdonald's farm," said George.
"Nobody but a city person has a bit
of everything these days."
"Yeh, real farmers pick one
specialty to lose money in," said
Dave.
"Well I could tell he was a new
farmer because he smiled," said
Molly. "First farmer I've had in here
who smiled in two years. You want
to fit in with these old grouches you
got to practice your frown and learn
to whine a lot."
"So what attracted you to
farming?" Mabel wondered.
"Well, like I say it was the fresh
air and the open spaces," said Ross.
"I mean did you see that sunrise this
morning? You can't put a price on a
thing like that."
"You want to keep your
reputation as a farmer you don't go
The world's
problems are
solved daily
'round the table
at MabeI's
around saying things like that."
mumbled Dave, looking around to
see if anybody overheard. "People'II
always know you're a city person if
you go around talking about sunrises
and sunsets and pretty flowers in the
meadow."
"Yeh, practice complaining about
the weather and the prices and the
damn government and you'll fit right
in," said Molly.
"Well it's easy to complain about
the weather with this dry spell
lately," said Ross. "I mean my lawn
is as brown as an old rug."
"Uh ... lawns don't quite cut it,"
Cliff warned. "You gotta look at the
state of the corn and the beans."
"Did anybody hear the weather
forecast for the weekend?" Mabel
asked. "My niece is having an out-
door wedding and I wonder if I'll
need a sun hat or an umbrella."
"One radio station says there's a
40 per cent change of rain," said
Dave. "Another one says it will be
sunny. The Kitchener TV says
isolated thunder showers and the
London TV says hot and dry. Take
your pick."
"I kind of like the old days when
there was just one weather forecast,"
says Cliff. "You had a 50-50 chance
it was wrong, but at least it was
simple."
"At least you have a choice today,
not like when Environment Canada
had a monopoly," said George.
"Yeh, but what's the use of choice
if you don't know which one to
believe?" said Dave. "I mean one of
the forecasts is bound to be right
every day but it's like picking lottery
numbers to guess which one."
"And about three out of four are
bound to be wrong so now you've
only got a 25 per cent chance of
guessing right," said Ross.
"Now you're grouching like a real
farmer," said Molly.
"Wait'Il he actually starts selling
something off that farm," said Dave.
"He'll learn to grumble then.
Especially when he has to come in
here and buy it back at four times
what he.sold it for."
"Look at it this way," said Mabel,
"for a $3.99 breakfast and all the
grumbling you can do, it's cheaper
than a therapist."0