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Home My WebLink AboutThe Citizen, 1989-07-12, Page 6PAGE 6. THE CITIZEN, WEDNESDAY, JULY 12, 1989. From the Minister’s Study The couple that prays together, stays together BY REV. DOUG ZEHR CO-PASTOR BRUSSELS MENNONITE FELLOWSHIP It’s a hot and sticky Saturday afternoon in July. You are stuck to a church pew waiting for the ceremony to begin. And you are wondering if weddings are still all that important. Why all the fuss and bother? Why endure the candles and the dressing up and pockets full of Kleenex? The couple loved one another long before they were prepared for this moment. Why not just have a trial marriage for a year or so? If it doesn’t work, the two will be a bit wiser, and they will have avoided an idealistic naive gamble. Let’s be serious, they aren’t certain this promise ‘till death do us part’, is going to work anyway. They are only betting it will. And perhaps that isn’t being very realistic. It’s these kind of thoughts that run through your mind when you are sitting through or waiting for a marriage ceremony, particularly if you have more than one summer wedding to attend. Living together has often been lauded as a method for discovering insurmountable incompatabilities before marriage. It would save them and us a lot of trouble and expense. I must admit it has had its tempting moments. Before marriage I thought a number of times, ‘how can 1 be sure this is going to work?’ Like other things in life, perhaps there should be an apprentice period or an internship. Something to pre pare a person for the real thing. In selfish moments there was the consideration of enjoying all the privileges of marriage without the responsibilities that would tie you down. And of course we have all met those couples that appear totally mismatched and we can’t help but wonder if a short trial marriage would not have revealed the insan ity of thinking the marriage could last. While pondering all of this, it was a newspaper headline which caught my atention. It read, ‘Living Together Ruins Marriage’. Like most headlines I assumed very important information was neces sary to understand fully the inten tion. It is obvious that living together without marriage is becoming more common among today’s young people. But a survey by a number of sociologists shows that the practice lessens, rather than in creases the chances for a healthy marriage. Survey results are popp ing up all over the place. In a month’s time I read similar head lines in at least three other, news papers. With consistency, the research is finding that people who live to gether before marriage are twice as likely to be divorced within a decade as, those who live apart before marriage. That’s a helpful piece of information to understand the challenges that marriages are facing today. On the other hand, there is an important question that needs to be asked. How is it that at least one out of every two marriages is surviving today? I believe that part of the answer lives in the fact that marriage is truly a risk and to become married is truly an act of faith. It is an act of faith that needs to be backed up by ones’ whole life. The reason a trial marriage isn’t enough is that there is no such thing. As someone has said, ‘There is trial cohabitation - where two people discover if they can live with clothes hanging over the shower curtain and if one can tolerate the other’s nights out with friends. But that is as much like marriage as splashing around your bathtub is like swimming the English Chan nel’. You see, only marriage - that promise forever - can survive the crises that would make trial cohabi tation fall apart. Christian marriage asks for a stronger commitment. There are attempts being made to strengthen marriages and the possibilities for success of young couples. A Toronto section of one denomination is now requiring couples to notify one year in advance of their intentions to get married. During that year couples must attend preparation classes, meet several times with a clergy person, and attend church regularly. I’m sure that will spark some serious discussions about marriage amongst aspiring marriage part ners. I believe that will be healthy for marriage relationships. Some very reliable sources indi cate that there are significant ways to enhance your chances of build ing a successful marriage. While one in two marriages is successful today, where couples attend church together 19 in 20 marriages suc ceed. And where couples pray together they increase their chances of a successful marriage 10 times over. That is, where couples pray togeth- er only one in 200 marriages fail. said, ‘...a man will leave his father I know that sounds pretty amaz- and mother, and be united to his ing but there really is something to wife and the two shall become one the words Jesus quoted when he HURON CHAPEL MISSIONARY CHURCH AUBURN PASTOR JAMES H. CARNE 526-7515 10 a.m. - Family Bible School 11 a.m. - Morning Worship 8 p.m. - Evening Service Wed., 8 p.m. - Prayer and Bible Study Melville Presbyterian Church BRUSSELS Rev. Carolyn McAvoy 11 A.M. MORNING SERVICE SUNDAY SCHOOL 9:30 A.M. BELGRAVE SERVICE ANGLICAN CHURCH OF CANADA July 16/89 Pentecost 9 Holy Eucharist REV. RUTH POGSON 9:30 a.m. 11:15 a.m. Trinity, Blyth St. John’s, Brussels Couple weds in Duffs Church McCallum - McKelvie Duffs United Church in Walton was the setting on July 8, 1989, when Reverend Bonnie Lamble united Carl Allan McCallum and Taralee Ann McKelvie in marriage. The groom is the son of Mr. and Mrs. Harold McCallum of RR 1, Walton, while the bride is the daughter of Roy and Nancy Mach- an of Walton. Cindy McKelvie of Walton was maid of honour. Bridal attendants were Tammy Machan of Walton, Jamie Laskis of Caledon, Jackie Morrow of RR 4, Walton, and Sue Arthur of RR 4, Walton. Junior Bridesmaids were Jennifer Arthur of RR 4, Walton and Janice McCallum of RR 1, Walton, while the flower girls was Marcy DeGroof of Egmondville. The groom’s best man was Paul McCallum ofRR 1, Walton. Ushers for the ceremony were Steven Machan of Walton; John Braeker of RR 4, Walton; Joe Arthur of RR 4, Walton; and Gary Gagnier of RR 4, Walton. Kenny McCallum of RR 1, Walton was ring bearer. Special music was provided by Blyth Festival gets grants Minister of Culture and Com munications Lily Munro has an nounced two grants which will be provided to the Blyth Centre for the Arts. The Centie will receive $5,000 to assist in the pui~hase of computer hardware, and $15,000 to hire a person in the Arts Management Training Program. Jayne and Lucille Delaney of Dublin and Colleen McCallum of RR 1, Walton, gave a reading. Following a reception at the Seaforth and District Community Centre the couple left for a honey moon vacation in the Dominican Republic. When they return they will take up residence at RR 4, Walton. Mr. and Mrs. Carl Allan McCallum Photo by Gregor Campbell SUBSCRIBE TODAY Enclosed please find my cheque for $17.00 for a a 1-year subscription to The Citizen. a Name............................................................................. • Address......................................................................... ! City.................................................Postal Code......... | BLYTH CHRISTIAN AP REFORMED CHURCH HIGHWAY 4, BLYTH Sunday at 10 a.m. and 7:30 p.m. Rev. W.H. Lammers Sunday School 11:00 a.m. The Church of the ‘ ‘ Back to God Hour” and ‘ ‘ Faith 20” Back to God Hour 10:30 a.m. CKNX, Sunday Faith 20 5:00 a.m. weekdays, Global T.V. ALL VISITORS WELCOME Community People Serving Community People I d P.O. Box 429 cup . P.O. Box 152 Blyth, NOM 1H0 Brussels, NOG 1H0 ■4I a • a a a a a a a a a a a a j