HomeMy WebLinkAboutThe Citizen, 1989-02-08, Page 13THE CITIZEN, WEDNESDAY, FEBRUARY 8, 1989. PAGE 13.
Today's groom active
in wedding planning
A decade ago, the biggest de
mand on the groom was that he be
at the church on time. But grooms
today are taking an active role in
the wedding planning, and want to
be involved in many of the aspects
that were once strictly “bride’s
territory,” according to a recent
article in “Bride’s Magazine.”
“Rather than being a spectator,
the groom is involved in selecting
everything from the wedding site to
china, crystal and housewares,”
says Editor-in-Chief Barbara
Tober.
“The names of his parents often
appear on the wedding invitation,
or he might be escorted to the altar
by both parents. And he will
probably wear a wedding ring - 84
per cent do.”
Most men now believe that, if
marriage is a 50-50 proposition, the
wedding should be too. Here are
some of the ways the customs
surrounding the groom have
changed, thanks to his input.
•Engagement photographs: To
day most newspapers routinely
feature the couple, rather than the
bride alone. Some include the
groom in wedding portraits as well.
•Wedding expenses: In the past,
the bride’s family paid for the
entire wedding, except for a few
items traditionally covered by the
groom or his family. But because
brides and grooms are marrying
older and earning their own money,
they want to make financial contri
butions to their wedding, and often
the groom’s family offers to cover
or split some expenses.
•The bridal shower: Two-income
couples share more than a 9-to-5
schedule; they must also share
housekeeping duties. Setting up
the home is of interest to both
spouses, and this has popularized
his/her showers. Theme showers
featuring gifts that the couple will
share (entertainment items, honey
10 inventive ways
to make her say yes
There is no one way to make your
special someone say “I do.” But
after saving up for that ring, you
want to create the perfect moment
to pop the question.
Do you want to be sitting on a
moonlit beach or building an
enormous snowman? The decision
is ultimately yours, but here are 10
out-of-the-ordinary ideas to help
you choose your own matrimonial
mood:
•Hide the ring in a box of
popcorn that you and she share
during your local team’s champion
ship game.
•Buy her the current issue of
Bride’s Magazine. She’ll get the
hint.
•Take her to a romantic movie
and slip the ring on her finger
during the torrid love scene.
•Have a scavenger hunt in her
house or apartment. The last clue
should lead her to the surprise: Her
ring.
•Send her three roses at various
intervals throughout the day. Affix
moon necessities, sporting equip
ment) include his male friends and
family members too.
•Groom’s attendants: The tradi
tional wedding party roles are
changing. The groom may now
choose a “best woman” - a sister of
close friend - rather than a “best
man.”
The ushers - who can be male or
female - help with wedding plann
ing. They might undertake some of
the traditional groom’s duties
(making hotel reservations for out-
of-town guests, arranging trans
portation from the wedding to the
reception, picking up and returning
tuxedos), to give him more time
with his bride.
•Thank-you notes: Although eti
quette specifies that thank-you
notes have only one signature,
many couples now split the thank-
you note list - the groom handling
his family and friends, the bride
handling hers.
The groom or bride should
mention his or her spouse in the
body of the letter, however. (“Kar
en and I will be toasting many
happy occasions with the wine
glasses you sent.”)
•Married names: Tdhay’s groom
has some decisions tp make about
his married name. With the bride
no longer automatically taking her
groom’s name (changing a bride’s
name is tradition, not law), the
groom may want to alter his name
to celebrate the bond.
If his bride wants to keep her
own name for professional purpos
es, the couple might choose to
adopt a hyphenated last name. For
example, Sally Jones and Mike
Smith might become Sally and
Mike Jones-Smith.
Some couples have created a new
blended name for their new be
ginning. For instance, Jean Irving
and Tom Livingston might become
Jean and Tom Irvingston.
a note with each rose, saying
“Will,” “You” and “Marry” re
spectively. Arrange to have dinner
together and, when you pick her
up, bring a bottle of champagne,
bearing the note saying “Me?”
•Arrange for a policeman to
come and put her under arrest
unless she marries you.
•Next time you wash the car in
the automatic carwash, invite her
to join you. While you have her all
to yourself, pop the magic ques
tion. Make sure she’s got her seat
belt on!
•Put an ad in your local paper’s
classified section for a wife with her
name and interests.
•Ask her to meet you for lunch.
Put a slip of paper with the famous
four words in her sandwich. Don’t
let her order soup or salad.
•On your next dinner date,
arrange for the waiter to bring out a
bottle of champagne on a silver
platter with two glasses. And, of
course, the ring.
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