Village Squire, 1979-12, Page 38McGillicuddy 's
(Yirzs tmas
Because of the approaching Christmas season the usual McGWicuddy's Diary is being replaced this
month by a special Christmas story told by the Chief with many of the characters from Hamhocks. The
regular diary wW return next month.
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'Twas the week before Christmas and all
through the house, not a creature was
stirring, except the mouse evidently. I got
up that morning and went to get my
oatmeal out of the cupboard and left a trail
all across the kitchen floor from the hole
some mouse had chewed overnight. I
should have known then it was a day to stay
in bed.
I'd left the cat in the night before
because I'd been finding traces of little
night visitors lately but I think the mice
must be slipping a little something to the
cat because she didn't make a sound all
night long. Some protection she is.
I'd just about finished cleaning up when
there was a knock on the door. I knew for
sure then that it was a day to stay in bed. It
could only be one person at that hour of the
morning: Cindy Lou Quagmire. And I
wasn't even out of my pyjamas yet.
"Oh Zeke," she said when I opened the
door. "I'm so glad I caught you."
"You haven't yet," I mumbled to
myself, but I knew she'd keep trying.
"I brought you over your Christmas
present," she giggled.
"You shouldn't have," I said with more
meaning than she knew. "I haven't even
got my Christmas tree up yet. I've got no
place to put it."
"I'd just love to come over and help you
30 Village Squire, December 109
put the tree up."
"But 1 haven't bought it yet."
"We could buy it together. We could go
right after I get off work. The Boy Scouts
are selling trees down by the post office."
I'm great at picking trees."
"Oh that's too bad. I have to work late
today." I wasn't lying but I didn't know it
at the time.
I finally got her out of my house and my
hair in time to go to work but not before she
dropped some broad hints about what
she'd like me to get her for Christmas. I
didn't tell her I was planning a really big
surprise for her: I wasn't planning on any
present at all.
1 got to the office in time to meet
Hamhocks own version of Scrooge coming
out of the town clerk's office across the
hall.
"Playing hooky this morning Sally?" I
asked. "I thought you'd be at school by
now."
"You're just in time for a change
Chief," Councillor Hemple said. with one
of those sweet little smiles that could
freeze the Carribean over.
That woman can make me feel like one of
her pupils at the public school who's just
been caught cheating on a spelling test. "I
see your expenses are getting out of hand
again Chief. 1 was just checking the figures
in the clerk's office. What's this amount for
gasoline last month: S20. What're you
doing taking the cruiser on pleasure
trips?"
"Any trip in that cruiser would be no
pleasure," I snapped back. "1'd rather
walk than ride in that thing," referring to
the cramped little mini car they'd bought
me a couple of years ago.
"Well we could probably accomodate
you on that," shy said and immediately 1
wished I'd bitten my tongue. They'd just
love to see me walking everywhere so they
could save even what they paid for that
cockroach of a car. I think Sally Hemple
would cheer the sight of nie running down
the street trying to stop a speeder. Luckily
she left then, before 1 could say anything
1'd be sorry fore later.
One of the nice things about Christmas
in our town is that the merchants don't like,
me handing out parking tickets for people
who don't put money in the meters. The
council isn't too happy about losing out on
the money but they grudgingly told me not
to go too heavy with the tickets. That's fine
by me. Mornings like this with the
temperature below zero 00 that new
fangled thermometer I'm happy to sit in
here where it's warm. I'll n►akc a token
pass at a few meters on my way down to