Village Squire, 1979-09, Page 11"In this way the creature could attain the dexterity to play the
piano, emphasizing first and second soprano, alto and bass
notes, as well as pointing at those not watching their notes, or
not singing. These extra hands might also help to master the
knack of marking a work book and at the same time a chart,
while wiggling into gym shoes, finding the referee's whistle, and
listening to the question, "My shorts are in the wash and my
mother doesn't do laundry until Tuesday night. May I wear my
jeans in Phys. Ed. class?"
"I suppose this model will need a strong loud voice," added
the angel.
The good Lord frowned and said, "There will be a voice with a
wide range of inflection. One that soothes, encourages, demands
and pleads as well as convinces and teaches."
They both agreed that an ideal voice would be one that had
developed the ability to scold Tom for eating candy in school and
Mary for not excusing herself while walking in front of the
teacher, and in the same breath commend Bill for the neat note
and excellent map he has just completed. A "just right" voice
will say, "I don't hate you Ken, I hate some of the things you
do."
On this special model, they decided would be a gadget that
could help endure a group of children at the back of the room
discussing the possibility of Canada and United States joining to
become a mighty nation, while a group at the front practised
their multiplication tables on a swirling wheel.
They agreed that only this particular design could feel truly
competent enough to check oral answers for Math and at the
same time read an urgent note from the office, that must be
passed to the next class, while thirty hands go up, all wanting to
deliver the note.
Because of this special metal, the model can write on the
blackboard at recess and listen intently to a long story about how
Rover got lost but was luckily found outside the back door.
Further discussion revealed that they hoped to build a
proficiency chamber into the model giving it dual action so it
could become adept at teaching one group how to find a set of
prime factors for forty-two and the other group how to write a
better note from the outline given on Australia. At the same time
it would nod permission to the hand at the back, so she could get
an encylopedia from the library.
"What about adding a built-in plug to ask for added energy
and wisdom?" inquired the angel.
"A super idea," agreed the Lord. "This would make the
model aware of the unlimited potentialities of its body."
After further discussions they decided the finishing touches
would involve adding proof that the model need only visit the
washrooms at recess and noon hour. The mould must turn out
diplomatic teachers to tell children who aren't allowed to dance
in gym classes that it's exercises they're doing and for children
who hate exercises to tell them they're dancing. If they aren't
allowed to sing the song that is a hymn, tell them it is a camp
song.
When the bell rings for dismissal, this model must have a
repeater switch so as to be prepared to help those who need help
by teaching over again what they didn't understand or failed to
hear, during the day. After this session, there is a house league
volley -ball game between the Hobbits and Supermen to referee
in the gym.
"Won't the model's out -put be almost exhausted by this
time?" asked the angel.
"Yes", said the Lord, "especially when the brief case is
packed with a set of papers and work books to mark."
"But with that built-in smile, the janitor will bid a cheerful
good -day and only when the model reaches home, will there be
any sign of a sigh. It won't be the air leaking out of the model. It
will just be the worn-out body that will bounce right back by
to -morrow in time for yard duty at 8:45 a.m."
"You have built a modern and clever model," said the angel.
"Everyone will want your progeny."
The Lord answered, "I didn't do anything out of the ordinary,
my creation was born a teacher." ❑
FABRICS & YRflS
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Arriving each day also is a
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LARONE'S
OPEN WEDNESDAYS TILL 5:30
FRIDAY NIGHTS TILL 9 P.M.
SEAFORTH 527-1960
September 1979, Village Squire 9