Village Squire, 1978-10, Page 18"You've got a nice touch", said Big Jonathan.
"Thanks" said Harvey. doing his best to blush modestly.
"Nice razor too -beautiful edge" said Big Long Jonathan.
"You'd better believe it" said Harvey.
"You can't beat a good old-fashioned barber's razor I always
say" said Big Long Wide Jonathan giving Harvey a couple of
dollar bills with one hand and twirling his left hat -peg with the
other.
"Keep the change young man -keep the change". said Big
Long Wide Jonathan Slivver and exited -stage left.
Old-fashioned Harvey had been holding his breath, he let it
out slowly. "Thank cripes he didn't pay with his left hand" he
said aloud.
"An old-fashioned barber's eh?" said Art. picking up and
examining Harvey's little beauty. "You've got a heck of a
nerve".
"He'll need all the nerve he's got when the guy comes back to
tear him apart for cutting his moustache off" Peter said, and
made some tearing -Harvey -apart motions with his bare hands.
"I'll worry about that if he comes back" Harvey replied "and
besides -I can take care of him" he boasted, taking up a pugilistic
pose," the bigger they are----" he went on.
" the better they are" Bob interrupted and finished for
him. ,
"Ha!" Harvey scoffed, "I'11 fix him up good and proper -like
this" he said, throwing a oouple of pretty good mock lefts and a
devastating mock' right.
411 You and who else?" Art wanted to know.
The repair to Jonathan Slivver's moustache held fast
throughout the rigours of morning rehearsals at the Festival
Theatre; it remained firm during the two hour break for lunch
despite the terrific battering it took from the rear -so to
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PG.16. VILLAGE SQUIRE/OCTOBER 1978.
speak -with the exercising of his jaws; it withstood also the
multiple onslaughts of afternoon rehearsals, two ten-minute
breaks and three suppers. one each at the 'Pickwick, the
Limelight. and the Church Restaurants. To top all this its
strength was given the supreme test -unknowingly of course -at
the Queen's Hotel by the rendering of Jonathan's version of the
time-honour'd question "Tubby or not Tubby" while spinning
borowed hats in opposite directions: Everyone present
applauded no end -or rather -applauded both ends and Jonathan's
cup-er-glass runneth over. He gave repeat performances later at
the Windsor. and later still. at the Victorian Inn. The repair was
undoubtedly a good one.
However, in his own room at the end of his perfect day.
Jonathan gave one end of his moustache a melodramatic twist
and chose the wrong end to twist that is to say -he chose the right
end to twist and the thing came off in his hand.
Big Long Jon gazed at the whitish curly hair piece in horror.
"Oh Lord!" he wailed "I'm corning apart. What's the Director
going to say?". He then Clopped upon the bed and fell fast asleep
with the curlied end of waxed hair encircling his forefinger.
At ten after eight the morning after the night before the very
first client to burst through the door of Peter Van's Barber Shop
was Jonathan Slivver looking like a sore -headed bear spoiling for
a fight. Peter Van suddenly remembered he'd left his reading
glasses in the car and vent out to fetch them; Art Mohr suddenly
remembered he had to go out' back to see a man about a
long-haired terrier. and Bob Lesse suddenly remembered just
why it r.as that, Art and Peter had suddenly become
rememberful. He decided to forget that he'd already
remembered to feed his pet parking -meter and scooted out
through the door leaving -Harvey Costa alone in the shop with Big
Long Wide Jonathan Slivver.
Harvey clenched his fists in readiness behind his back and
waited. He didn't wait long. Big Jon strode up to him. looked
him right in the eye. and let him have it straight from the
shoulder; "Look!!" he said. "1 hate to bother you :so early in the
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