Village Squire, 1976-01, Page 14Down on
Toilet training - all of
By Roy Wildnust
A popular song during World War 1 was "How're you goin' to
"'keep 'em'doum on the farm after they've seen Paree [Paris]."
Soldiers returning from war might not be satisfied with life on the
farm.
But Jim and Sal, two escapees from the hurly-burly of Toronto
area life, have proven that life on the farm - even just 90 acres can
be interesting.
l:urtherinore they've learned that their two children, Sal and
Jim, are discovering something new every day - something
they'd never find on paved playgrounds. .
So the Jims and the Sals now live on their own farm - well it will
be their own some day after a mortgage company collects its
mountain of flesh.
Me names have been changed only to protect the, neighbours.
" 1 oile+t training!
After all these years? We went through that when they were
three years old.
"Do you know they're now six and eight years old?
"Why do I have to start again?"
She was exasperated and frustrated. Her husband had just
issued an order. Order? In this day of women's lib any husband,
who dared use an authoritarian tone of voice, was automatically a
male eham inist'
"Well," he answered, "either train them or go thirsty."
"And what does toilet training have to do with thirst?" she
said.
She soon discovered
All tliis started one da %%hen a harried man, ming to worm his
way through morning traffic ona crowded expressway, finally
gave up the ghost The ghost of driving.
No! He didn't die in a traffic crash as he looked for openings in
the nose -to -bumper line of cars. He just decided to give up the
ghost of that daily 30 -mile plunge to'work. At least those football
players who had to gain a yard at a time had team mates who
provided some interference.
Who ever heard of a motorist blocking out a big truck to make
way for a fellow man?
He decided, there and then, to quit; get out of the asphalt rat
race and find a new job.
Finding the job was simple. He just sent a letter to a college in
London area, and said he was tired of Toronto.
So he got the job. He still had to drive about 30 miles to work
each day from his new farm home in southern Perth County, but
that drive was a period of relaxation. The only traffic holdup was
snow and, of course, everybody knows there's no snow in
neighboring Middlesex County. (So the Middlesex residents
say.)
Now for thirst.
When the family lived in Toronto are mother told the children
"always flush the toilet."
But "always flush the toilet" produced a problem on the small
farm.
A water problem.
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VILLAGE SQUIRE/JANUARY 1976, 1?