HomeMy WebLinkAboutThe Rural Voice, 1986-02, Page 551
1
GISELE IRELAND
Paying honeymoon
The Ireland clan has added
another member into its family
roster. Chuck, the fifth brother of
Super Wrench, finally said his
vows and added his new bride, Bet-
ty, to the fold.
I must admit that Chuck's tar-
diness in wearing a gold band gave
me some concern. The other four
brothers were a full ten years
younger when they accepted the
responsibility of wedded bliss and
they were hard enough to handle. I
figured Chuck must have worn off
some of the unusual edges from his
personality by this time. He would
settle down in no time at all. That
just proves that the older you get,
the less you know.
The wedding was about as laid
back as any I've ever attended. We
all expected a bit of Chuck's
humour to present itself sometime
through the proceedings. He
behaved in an exemplary fashion.
At the reception, I found out that
Chuck was taking Betty on a "pay-
ing honeymoon." Chuck owns an
eighteen wheeler and drives across
Canada. He planned to leave On-
tario with a load and come back
from the west with a load of cattle.
In between, he was going to show
his new bride all the truck stops
and miles of pavement.
I kept my comments to myself,
but couldn't help reflecting that
even with the additional ten years
of smarts that Chuck had on his
brothers, he would have to be
handled with care. When you
marry an Ireland, you hold onto
life with both hands and close your
eyes around the sharp turns.
Six days after the wedding, the
family got a call from Davidson,
Saskatchewan. Chuck and Betty
were calling from the hospital.
Chuck had hit an uneven section of
pavement with the truck; in the
jolt, the load of cattle had shifted.
He valiantly tried to keep the truck
upright, and finally managed to
bring the whole thing to a stop in
the ditch. On its side. The trailer
had split open and the cattle had
taken off. Betty, deep in slumber,
had been flung from the bunk
above, on top of Chuck in the cab.
She had broken bones in her foot.
It's a good thing that Betty is a
lightweight, since Chuck already
had a chunk of scalp taken out, his
shoulder dislocated and several
ribs cracked. They were flying
home and requested that someone
pick them up at the Toronto air-
port. Our relief at their safety was
so great, we would have driven to
Saskatchewan to pick them up.
They were certainly a bedraggled
pair to behold. Some kind motorist
had taken them to the hospital and
while they were there, another kind
passerby had taken their C.B.
radio and all their personal belong-
ings out of the incapacitated truck.
Chuck was one walking bruise and
taped up like an Egyptian mummy.
Betty clomped along behind with
her foot in a cast.
The wounded angels showed up
for Sunday services in the same
church they were married in the
week before. The minister couldn't
resist commenting on their condi-
tion and the congregation gave a
few well-bred titters.
They are almost healed now and
managed to come out of close con-
finement with each other in fine
form. Betty likely knows more
about Chuck than she would have,
had they taken a trip to some
sandy beach in the Caribbean. The
Caribbean would have been
cheaper though. The "paying
honeymoon" didn't pay off. The
trailer had to be fixed, several cat-
tle were still missing, and his trac-
tor took eight weeks to repair, in-
cluding a new motor. Sliding on its
side in a ditch doesn't do much for
motors.
1 hope the worst is over with,
otherwise, there is a good chance
their first anniversary could be
celebrated in matching body
casts. C'
Gisele Ireland is a pork pro-
ducer in Bruce County. Her
humourous column began with
The Rural Voice and her book,
Bumps in your Coveralls, is bas-
ed on her column.
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Tenders
ONTARIO
PORK CONGRESS
Tenders will be received for
the two following, until
11:00 a.m.
March 15, 1986
1. Booth Supply
June 16, 17, 18 and 19
To prepare and sell fast food
items
• Minimum of ten people •June 16
Minimum of twenty-four people
- June 17, 18, 19
2. Noon Meals
June 18, 19, 20
Smorgasbord style pork dinner
for approximately three hun-
dred and fifty people per day.
Replies to be directed to:
ANNE MULHOLLAND,
Food Committee
Ontario Pork Congress
R.R. 43 Mitchell, Ontario NOK 1 NO
Phone: 519.348.9837 for further details.
The lowest or any tender not
necessarily accepted.
FEBRUARY 1986 53