HomeMy WebLinkAboutThe Lucknow Sentinel, 1993-04-14, Page 3Ministry helps sexual abuse Victims
• by Pat Livingston
Emotional and spiritual healing
from sexual abuse can be 'a life-
long process says Audrey
McRonald. Mrs. McRonald and
Eleanor Magie, co -directors and
seminar leaders of Hope for The
Abused, gave a two-hour capsulized
seminar on that subject Wednesday
night at the Christian Reformed
Church.
Hope for the Abused is'*an inter-
denominational Christian ministry
committed to helping victims of
sexual abuse find hope, healing and
freedom through the Lord Jesus
Christ."
Mrs. McRonald, .a wife, mother
and nurse, is a survivor of child
sexual abuse. She speaks openly
and honestly regarding her ex-
perience and her ultimate healing
and freedom.
Mrs. Magie, a wife, mother and
teacher, has the ability to
understand the pain of the abused
and responds With a compassionate
heart.
The Christian perspective of
healing was stressed throughout the
seminar.
The seminar addressed the role of
the church in dealing with the
social issue; what child sexual
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abuse is; the'physical and emotional
consequences of abuse; how
damaged emotions develop; the
conflicts of abuse and the healing
method.
Child sexual abuse falls into three
categories: extrafamilial (someone
not related), intrafamilial (within the
family) and incest, which is.sexual
contact with a child under 18 by a
relative in a position of power over
the child. Mrs. McRonald said That
77.4 per cent of the perpetrators are
parents and 16.3 per cent are other
relatives. She also pointed out that
81' per cent of abusers were, as
children, abused themselves.
Consequences
Although some of the following
may be present, Mrs. MGRonal'd
stressed not jumping to any im-
mediate conclusions. The presence
of these physical disorders is not
always an indicator of sexual abuse:
eating disorders such as anorexia,
bulimia, obesity; sleeping disorders;
gynecological disorders;
psychosomatic disorders; compul-
sions or addictions; bedwetting in
children up to as. old as 10 to 12;
pregnancy; flashbacks; memory
blocks, and sexual dysfunction.
Victims of sexual abuse often
display extreme anger, hatred, guilt,
or shame and develop a poor self-
image or lack of self-worth. Al-
though it is the victim who has
been abused, quite often the victim
begins to share the guilt of the
perpetrator.
Depression can be a symptom of
a deeper problem that comes from
pushing feelings of guilt down
inside, said Mrs. McRonald.
Feelings of loneliness or isolation
result when' a young child is thrust
into an adult world, where they are
different from their peers.
Fear can manifest itself into on-
going phobias and panic attacks.
!turn to page 6
1
Her personal testimony
A victim of sexual abuse for 7 years
by Pat Livingston
From the age of five to 12
years; she was a victim of sexual
abuse. It would be 35 years
before Audrey McRonald
"shared her deep, darksecret"
and began the healing process.
Mrs. McRonald is a co-director
and seminar leader of Hope for
the Abused, . an inter-
denominational Christian
ministry that helps victims of
sexual abuse. She shared her
personal story with those who
gathered at the Christian
Reformed Church on Wednesday
evening.
Mrs. McRonald was abused by
a relative "one I knew, loved
and trusted" - she said. The
abuse stopped when she and her
family moved many hundreds of
miles away. As the years went
by she realized she needed help
to deal with the emotional and
spiritual conflict within her. She
admitted becoming a "sexually
, precocious child and teenager.'
Later she trained as nurse "in.
'a hope to find help", referring to
the medical .books and.
knowledge shewould have ac-
cess to. During her training
period, her parents decided to
move the United States and
informed her that she would
accompany them. Mrs.
McRonald adamantly refused.
She said, "I was very angry at
my parents for, in my percep-
tion, not protecting me." -
Severe .depression set in and
she over -dosed. A fellow student
found her in time to save her
life. Mrs. McRonald said that the
guilt she lived . with had taken
over, and she didn't know how.
to deal with it.
She eventually graduated from
nursing. "This was the only area
of my life I felt good about. I
could handle anything that came
through those hospital doors, but
I couldn't handle my own life."
Following relationships with
several men over the years, site
met someone special. "God sure
knew what kind of a man 1
needed." She Was now 24 years
old.
She continued with her nursing
career and became the mother of
two children. At this period in
her life, the "stress mounted" she
,said She successfully hid from
her spouse her past and the
raging emotions she was ex-
periencing, "I wore a mask."
Mrs. McRonald attempted
suicide,.while pregnant with her
third child. She loaded their two
boys in the car and at the last
minute aborted the attempted car.,
crash. Knowing she needed help
she turned to a friend who
wasn't home right at that
moment. Her next cry for help
that day was to enter a store and
steal something. She was caught,
finger printedand processed and
released to go home. When she
went to court, the judge gave her
a slap on the fingers, because
she was very pregnant by . then.
"There was no help from myself,
from the courts, from the
psychology books,"
Pregnant with her fourth child.
Mrs. McRonald said, "Suicide
became a daily thought."
When a friend invited her to
attend a Women Alive meeting,,
Mrs. McRonald realized "Fina-
lly, I had come to the One who
could help me. I think I knew all
the time that help was in the
Christian faith," (She had been
raised in the Evangelical
religion)
As she sat at that meeting,
Mrs. McRonald said she could
feel the burden being lifted and
heard a voice saying, 'Be still
and know that I am God.'
•turn to page 6
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