The Rural Voice, 1983-08, Page 47OVER THE BACK FENCE
Serious business
We rush you now to the Queens Hotel.
Right here in town, just down from the
funeral home and across from the hard-
ware. It's Saturday and the lads are sip -
pin' brews celebrating nothing in par-
ticular. The place is near full, everyone
grouped around tiny, foot -square tables
crunching sawdust beneath their feet.
Waiters teeter about the din dispensing
draught and divvying up change for twen-
ties. Jokes and stories by the dozen buzz
from table to table in a steady flow pro-
ducing giggles and guffaws without let
up.
You'll find this scene in any Canadian
town on a Saturday. We are good at it
because we practi-le a lot. It is perennial
as the snow. A pistol shot or shout of
"Fire!" wouldn't make them bat a lash. It
is tradition.
But with tradition comes custom and
idiosyncrasies. For example, I was
astonished to discover recently that the
attention of these busy imbibers COULD,
in fact, be shaken to a standstill after all.
Here is what happened.
I paid a visit to the Queens one Satur-
day and threw back a pint or two like the
rest. About my third, I happened to glance
at my watch and realized there was so-
meone fuming at the hairdresser's
because I wasn't there to pick them up. I
downed the last and bolted to my feet
almost upsetting the little table and the
others at it.
"Sorry, boys. Must be off. The little
lady's waiting." It was like a bolt of lightn-
ing hit the place. There was instant
silence and it startled me. I looked about
for the cause, saw nothing and glanced
over my shoulder. Nothing there, either.
They were all looking squarely at me. Ner-
vously I played with the zipper on my
jacket. Of course, It wouldn't zip. I rolled
my eyes and whistled softly.
"Was it something I said?" I enquired
much more loudly than intended.
"Tom, you interrupted Norm's joke.
That's rude, man, rude!" This from Fred
Fisher to my right.
"Jeez, it was a good one, too," said
Pete Barrett.
"Now, I forget where I was," said Norm,
shaking his head.
"Throw the bum out!" hollered a wag
from another table.
"Hangin's too good for 'im!" quoth
another.
I discarded my half -eaten bag of chips
on the table and visually tried to clear a
path to the exit some 20 metres away. I
knew I'd never make it. The volume of
voices increased and some jostling
began. I abandoned running the gauntlet
and decided that the window at my elbow
looked surer. I hardly noticed the empties
bursting about me as I squeezed through
to the parking lot. You see, we Canadians
don't like having our story telling inter-
rupted. Keep smilin'.
Tom Maplewood. originally from the
Ottawa Valley is a Stratford resident and
freelances as a writer of humour. The
name. Tom Maplewood is a pseudonym.
K31
AGITATOR
PUMP
• 8 to 14 11. depths
• Installs In pit hydraulically
• Long lasting marine type bearings
• More gal. with less h.p.
• Designed for 75 h.p.
• 3500 g.p.m. capacity 8" discharge
HUSKY FARM EQUIPMENT
Alma. Ontario
15191 846-5329
l
BRINDLE
Y
AUCTION
1/4 mile east
of Dungannon
Combines
MF 760 Diesel Hydrostat $11,500.
MF 760 Diesel Standard . $11,500.
MF 510 Diesel $ 5,000.
3MF 510 Gas each$ 4,700.
Gleaner A-2, 2 Heads $ 3,700.
Gleaner K, 2 Heads $ 6,950.
Gleaner G, Gas $ 6,150.
Gleaner FKS Diesel, like new $16,500.
Gleaner L Diesel $10,500.
MF 300 Gas, 0.A. header $ 4,000.
NH 995 Diesel $ 8,250.
JD 95 Diesel $ 5,000.
UPCOMING
SALE
Saturday, August 20
Brindley Sale Yard
10 a.m. sharp
Auctioneer
Gordon H. Brindley
For further
Information, call
519-529-7625
519-529-7970
THE RURAL VOICE, AUGUST 1983 PG. 45