The Rural Voice, 1983-04, Page 56OVER THE BACK FENCE
Belonging
to a Club
by Tom Maplewood
It is very important to belong to a
club. Everyone does it. It represents the
fact that you are somebody. The kind of
club does not matter. Whatever suits
your fancy. Just join. It will pucker up
your sense of personal pride and worth.
These clubs all run the same way.
They are loosely democratic and strong-
ly parliamentarian. You're supposed to
get to vote in other words. Some allow
spirits during the meeting. Some prefer
you get plastered at any other time.
When you first join you are treated in
the same manner as the District Gover-
nor. Everybody wants to meet you. Or
at least they want to be seen with you.
It is the thing to do. Once you're "in"
and they have cashed your cheque for a
year's membership you are free to get
lost in the crowd and they will lavish
their charm and attention on someone
new.
Every club is eccentric. They have
their own quaint little set of rules.
Some will fine you just for standing up.
You may be fined for not wearing your
pin or green socks or any manner of
ridiculous thing. You must act like it is
a great comfort to be fined. This is
tradition.
When a special guest speaker is
introduced, everybody wants to rub
elbows with him and be in the club
picture. To a man they will all claim
they went to school with the guest. Or
knew his brother. However, when they
meet him anywhere but at the club he
is treated like a complete stranger.
All clubs are run by six people. That
is, six people do all the work. This is
the same whether the total membership
be sixty or six hundred. Only six do all
the work. The six "hate it like the
plague" or so they tell you, but they
will do it all the same. For years. If you
try to help, they will tell you there is no
problem, that they can handle it quite
nicely by themselves, thank you. If you
don't offer to help, they claim they are
always "forced to do all the work", that
the rest of the members are a bunch of
good-for-nothings and that this attitude
will soon lead the club to oblivion.
The leaders of the club are changed
often. This is because everyone wants
to be able to say they were president. It
looks good in resumes and obituaries.
Often terrific power struggles go on
in a club. These aren't too obvious as
everyone smiles all the time. Every
decision is called "unanimous" whether
there are dissenters or not. It makes it
appear that this particular president has
solidarity in the ranks. It is an artful
illusion. But it's all part of the fun of
belonging to a club.
I'm sure you know what I'm talking
about. You probably belong to one just
like it and wouldn't quit for anything.
Keep smilin'. C;
Tom Maplewood. originally from the
Ottawa Valley is a Stratford resident
and freelances as a writer of humour,
The name. Tom Maplewood is a pseu-
donym.
WE HANDLE
EVERYTHING (almost)
BUTLER
Ring Drive Silo Unloaders Barn Cleaners
Big Jim Silo Unloaders Volume Belt Feeders
Single Chain Conveyors Oswalt Ensilmixers
Convey -n -Feed Cattle Feeders
FARMATIC
Blender Hammer or Blender Roller Mills
Blender Mills for Ground Hi -Moisture Corn
Augers Leg Elevators
ACORN
Cable Barn Cleaners
WESTEEL-ROSCO
Grain Bins - 1350 to 250.000 bu.
Bulk Feed Tanks
ACME
Fan -Jet Ventilation Systems
HOULE
quid Manure Pumps. Cleaners, Steel Trusses
BSL Complete Hog Confinement Systems
SLURRY -SLINGER
Liquid Manure Spreaders
Parts & Service for CLAY equipment
ALSO
Electric Feed Carts Fibre Funnels
Straw Choppers Ritchie Heated Bowls
Hurst Equipment
4a ?aJWt
SSdttte`tzd
Ai Amberley
IR R. e1, Klncardlnel Phone 395-5286
Kraiburg Happy MooMats
Keep Cows Happy, Resting
...and Profitable!
The installation of our mats
in your free stall or stanchion
barn doesn't just save you time,
which is money, it helps your
herd give more milk, which
means added profit! And more!
Elastic comfort surface.
Our advanced rubber chemistry
and design groups have devel-
oped a surface and a rubber
understructure that provides a
pleasant lying surface and re-
sults in noticeably increased
milk yield Testing has shown
that increased milk yield results
from increased comfort in lying
and standing time Details
available on written request
TExTUREO SURFACE
INSULATION
Mill
Sanitary non -porous texture.
Resists barnyard acids trapping
of bacteria and disease Reduces
barn odors
"Sure -grip" textured surface.
Specially developed tread sur-
face gives solid footing. protec-
tion against udder injuries.
abrasions and sore hocks
Excellent heat Toss resistance.
Keeps cows body heat from dis-
sipating Thermal insulation
action rejects cold and dampness
from concrete underflooring
and minimizes mastitis
Saves bedding materials.
Reduces yearly bedding costs
by up to S7 000 00 per 100 cows
No bulging, edge or hair cracks.
Superior compounding and proper
thickness provide insurance
against wear aging and loss of
service
10 Year Warranty Program.
Because Kraiburg products are
carefully manufactured and ha,r-
been thoroughly tested we bacK
every cow mat sold with a Ten
Year Warranty
Farm -Tek -Services Ltd. Distributor of QUALITY FARM EQUIPMENT
Box 580, Mitchell, Ontario, Canada NOK 1NO
Office Phone 519-348-8931 Home Phone 519-348-9517
THE RURAL VOICE, APRIL 1983 PG. 53