The Rural Voice, 1982-10, Page 40What is mental stress?
Media has i ade everyone aware of how
"stress" is affecting the health of people
both physically and emotionally. At the
Centralia College seminar, NEW CHAL-
LENGES FOR RURAL WOMEN, in
August at Huron Park, several of the
workshops dealt with stress.
Maria Van Bommel, an active member
of the Women For The Survival of
Agriculture group, led the group in
defining your attitude concerning your-
self, and how others see you. Participants
in the group were both rural and urban
and "stress" was evident in various
forms, some greater than others. Loss of
security whether it be job or home, placed
high on a list of tension -producing
factors. Maria explained once you have
made up your mind about what you are
going to do about it, the tension eases and
the stress is directed into channels that
will eventually be a solution. Making up
your mind to handle problems as they
come along as efficiently as possible
allows you to concentrate better rather
than worrying about what you did
yesterday or what you might do to-
morrow. Yesterday is gone and can't be
changed and the tomorrows are unknown
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and you can't pre -determine your respon-
ses to imaginary incidents.
Maria Van Bommel explained cases
where constant worry over things you
can't control causes physical illness and
depression to the point where you feel you
can't handle the situation anymore. It is
important to pull yourself up short,
before you let things get this far, and ask
yourself "what is the worst thing that can
happen if I can't work this out"?
Sometimes the answer to this question is
also your solution. Maria also suggested
that situations or people that cause such
tensions should be confronted. If the
bank is a source of stress, make an
appointment and make your point of view
clear. There will be no misunderstanding
about your reaction on either side. If
other people's responses to your efforts
cause stress, talk about them and see if
you can't change them. Nothing goes on
forever, although sometimes it seems like
it, and you can always look forward to a
change.
The seminar, Family Relationships, led
by Mary Gregg, questioned the women's
role in the family and how they perceived
themselves in this role. It brought
surprising answers from some of the
participants. Roles that had been stereo-
typed for them were filled but not with
much enthusiasm or satisfaction. Some
mothers felt guilty for not working
outside the home for added family
revenue.
Fran McCormick, active in the group,
Focus on Women, explained that control-
ling your reactions to situations that cause
tension will reduce the stress. The woman
in the family is not solely responsible for
the emotional well-being of all family
members. You can control your own
reactions, but not those of others.
Constantly worrying. about whether
someone will get home in one piece, or
whether a son or daughter will pass their
exam will wear you down mentally and be
of no benefit to other family members.
Once you have stated your opinion on a
matter, how other family members react
to it is out of your hands. Some of the
group members shared ways to handle
situations that cause tensions, such as
sharing jobs that depress or upset you.
Responsibility around the home should be
shared by all family members, not placed
solely on one. Everyone engages in
activities that are necessary but not
fulfilling in an emotional sense. If the
mental tension of such a situation gets too
severe, drop the activity or responsibility
and see if someone else will handle it
better.
PG. 40 THE RURAL VOICE / OCTOBER 1982
One of the group members stated that
everyone expects a woman to be active in
the community and the neighbourhood
and it is just too exhausting when raising a
young family. If you allow others to set
your course of action, you will fulfil the
duties grudgingly. Pick the things you
emjoy and let the rest wait until you are
ready for it.
Collectively, some very good ideas
emerged on how to make potentially
stressful situations tolerable. They were:
1. Don't anticipate problems, wait until
they happen and then deal with them.
2. Don't allow others to steer you into
situations you wouldn't choose or
activities that you feel morally black-
mailed into participating in.
3. Share activities and workload with
others within the family and com-
munity if it affects you adversely to
do it again and again.
4. Find a person or organization that
shares your interests and problems so
that you will have someone to talk to
when you need it.
Rural Women
and Mental Health
Better mental health for rural women is
the goal of a conference to be held
October 29-31, 1982 at the UAW Confer-
ence Centre in Port Elgin.
The conference is titled: Rural Women
and Mental Health: Toward Deeper
Understanding and Positive Action; and
reflects the concern with the special
difficulties facing rural women in today's
society.
The conference is sponsored by the
Canadian Mental Health Association and
the Part -Time and Continuing Education
section of the University of Western
Ontario. Conference coordinator is Betty
Stephens of Owen Sound.
A major conference goal is to acquaint
rural women with established support
systems in the community and to facilitate
the development of new support systems
for rural women.
Eighteen different workshops will be
offered during the Conference, including:
developing leadership & support skills;
changing self concepts : gaining self
esteem; communications breakdown in
partnerships and women and aging.
An all-inclusive package including
conference fee, five meals and two nights
at the Conference Centre is available for
$66.00. Conference fee only,is $20.00.
Further information and registration
forms may be obtained by contacting:
Betty Stephens, R.R. 5, Owen Sound
519-371-4350