Village Squire, 1980-08, Page 54P.S.
We're aging ... fast
BY KEITH ROULSTON
Sooner or later we all begin to think
about growing older. To some of us it
just happens faster than others.
1 mean Jack Benny spent 40 years or so
being 39. Me, I'm a fair distance from 39
yet and already I feel old.
We came to that realization the other
night, Jill and I did, as we sat and watched
a movie about a touching, teenage first
love. It said something about the quality of
summer television that we were watching
the movie at all. It wasn't a terrible movie
but it wasn't a masterpiece either and we'd
already watched it two years ago. But it
was one of those lazy summer nights when
there wasn't enough energy around to do
anything but stare at a television screen so
we did.
We were about halfway through when
Jill said it first.
Funny," she said, "the last time we saw
this picture I thought about it from the part
of the young girl. This time I'm feeling like
the girl's mother instead."
I'd been feeling the same way, only like
the girl's father of course. And good grief,
what a different perspective it gave you.
Suddenly I felt about 50 years old...or at
least I had the kinds of feelings I'd always
thought were reserved for people so much
older. Romantic first loves are always a lot
more romantic if you can think of yourself
as one of the participants rather than the
innocent bystanders hoping everything will
turn out for the best: the parents.
I knew what had changed our perspec-
tive so quickly. A few days earlier and we
could have looked at the movie with the
same innocent eyes as before. Sure we
could think about the future when our own
PG. 48 VILLAGE SQUIRE/AUGUST 1980
children would be fumbling their way
through the pains of growing from child to
adult but that was safely years away.
The illusion was shattered that day in
late June when the children came home
from school for the last time in the year and
daughter number one told of going to a
school dance. She'd danced nearly every
dance. And, she said proudly, she'd finally
had the nerve to put her head on a boy's
shoulder.
That, I think, was what did it. I mean
whatever happened to that safe period
when boys and girls hated each other;
when the only time a boy would go near a
girl was to pull her pigtails.
Oh I can remember early romantic
feelings. I remember being dared by older
boys to kiss a girl when I was in grade one
but by the time I was in grade three, no
dare on earth could get me to do that.
Going over Niagara in a barrel would have
been a stronger possibility than dancing
with a girl when I was in grade four. For
girls, I'm sure, the revulsion was just as
strong. Oh the girls came out of that period
a little earlier than boys, but just the same
there was that nice, safe, never-never land
where boys and girls were as separate as if
there were a fifteen -foot -high fence be-
tween them.
What, we wondered in panic, if that age
of animosity between the sexes is some-
thing of the past, like black and white
television or ducktail haircuts? I mean it's
one thing that girls are maturing sexually
at an earlier age today but it's another if
you have to fight those battles from the
time your daughter is 10 years old.
Especially when you've got three daugh-
ters to bring up.
We began to resent the society of today
that tries to rush kids into growing up.
Why is it that we think it is cute to ask
every little boy or girl if they have a
girlfriend? Why do the schools have to
start kids going to dances in grade four in
the first place? I didn't go to a dance for
people my own age until I was in grade
nine. That puts my daughter five years
ahead of me on that slippery road of
boy -girl relations.
And yet all the time we talked about this
I had the strange feeling I was a character
out of one of those movies that were
popular when I was a teenager: the
worried, archaic father from a Gidget
movie of one of those beach party movies,
the guy who's slightly silly and old
fashioned. We used to laugh at the
foolishness of those "old" men. Somehow
I wasn't laughing anymore. That old man
was me.
We've recovered a little from our
feelings of panic. I mean it's summer
holidays and there isn't a boy within miles.
We still have a few years of working out
what course we think we'll take when the
growing up becomes more than an end -of -
school dance party. At least I hope we
have. But somehow the teenage years
seem a lot closer than they did just a month
ago.
I wish I could tell the ending of this story
but I'm afraid you'll have to wait a bit: at
least 10 years for daughter number one and
20 or more for number three. If we survive
that long.
Meanwhile I'm wondering about how to
use the couple of years breather we have
before the heavy breathing years start.
Maybe I should start stacking up on the
ultra -feminist literature: you know, the
kind that's so strong that the women hate
men and you'd wonder how they could ever
get close enough to a man to carry on the
race? Maybe if the girls read that we could
breathe easier a little longer.
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