Village Squire, 1980-03, Page 27McGILLICUDDY'S DIARY
FEBRUARY 1: Councillor Sally Hemple
who is also a vice-principal at the public
school in town has set up a special
assembly for the students at which the
candidates in the election are going to
speak.
Sally thinks it's great for the kids to get
to know current affairs, to really get
involved in the election. I wonder if it's
really good to show kids how idiotic adults
can be at such an early age. They may
either decide they don't want to grow up or
they may figure if adults are as dumb as
these politicians then the kids should take
over the country.
The candidates were all ready to take the
time for the assembly though. Maybe they
think that with elections campaigns as long
as they are in this country the public school
students will be old enough to vote by
election day.
FEBRUARY 4: They had a television show
on last night about how expensive it is to
try to buy a house these days. Seems like a
huge part of the population can't afford to
buy a house anymore.
It seems that whenever there's a
problem in the development industry
somebody puts a bandaid on it instead of
really solving the problem. When they
found out that people couldn't afford to buy
a house based on one salary per household
they decided the salary of both the wife and
the husband could be figured in to see who
would qualify for mortgages. Now even two
salaries often aren't enough.
Now something has to be done to keep
these millionaire developers going. Could
the solution perhaps be the government
will now allow poly gamy so there can be
three or more salaries to support the
mortgage?
FEBRUARY 6: I see there's been a new
blow for women's liberation: or maybe that
should be several blows.
Two women out in Vancouver have
become registered boxers and put on a
boxing match the other night. It's so great
to know equality is really here. Now women
are proving they are just as stupid as men.
FEBRUARY 10: I see one of the candidates
in the election has been using lawn signs to
put up on trees. You know: the kind that
fold over a stake so you can read the
message from either side of the sign. Well
whoever's been putting up the signs on
trees and poles hasn't been bothering to
fold over the signs so you can see the name
twice on each sign, once right side up, the
other upside down. Perhaps there's some-
thing Freudian there: the candidate is
telling us he's ready to flip flop on any
issue.
FEBRUARY 14: Cindy Lou came over with
a nice heart -shaped cake tonight for
Valentine's Day. I couldn't find a hook in it
anywhere.
FEBRUARY 16: The winter Olympics are
on the tube these days and some days I
wish they'd just forget about these things.
They've been showing the bobsled and
luge runs on television and I guess the kids
thought that looked like a lot of fun. Over
on Hill Street they started hauling loads of
snow from the roadsides and packing it on
the road. I guess they've been getting
some pretty good runs down the hill and
into the park at the bottom on their
toboggans. It was when they started
building some banked curves into it that
some of the neighbours started complain-
ing.
So this morning I decided to go over to
investigate. I was just getting ready to stop
at the top of the hill when the kids saw me
and I guess they figured out what I was up
to and started throwing snowballs at me. I
lost my concentration and almost didn't get
stopped on the hill. But I guess that gave
them an idea and about five of the little
devils got behind the car and started to
push it and the first thing I knew I was
gaining speed.
I guess the Cockroach must be about the
biggest, plushest bobsled around but it's
not the easiest to control. We did about
three spins on the way down. 1 was going
straight again by the time I hit the park at
the bottom but the brakes were just
starting to take hold when 1 skidded off the
grass and onto the ice of the river. Luckily
the ice was thick enough to hold the car.
I got a wrecker to come and haul it off the
ice but it seemed a shame. I thought it
might be good to have a pool to see when
the river ice would break up ana the
Cockroach would go to the bottom.
FEBRUARY 24: I see they're having fun
with the draft registration down in the U.S.
The President has said that the women will
register for the draft just like the men
because men and women should be equal.
Now this has put the feminists in quite a
bind. A lot of them don't like the idea of
women going to war but they're so much in
favour of equality that they don't dare
complain. Some though are going up with
some pretty ingenious ideas for why
women shouldn't go. One I read said that
women were givers of life not takers like
men. I wonder how they got that life to give
if it wasn't for men?
Anyway if this drafting of women ever
comes along in Canada I recommend Cindy
Lou go first. One look at her and the enemy
will run for sure.
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VILLAGE SQUIRE/MARCH 1980 PG. 25