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HomeMy WebLinkAboutSaluting Huron County's Agricultural Industry, 1987-03-25, Page 17THE CITIZEN, WEDNESDAY, MARCH 25, 1987. PAGE A17. Learning to live with the loss of a farm What is it like to look for work after having been a farmer? How hard it is to find satisfying work? How do people adjust to loss of a farm? Without a source of local contacts and friends, ex-farm families are forced to use employ­ ment services and classified ads in their job search. Typically, they findlistingsfor sales positions, investment “opportunities” in pyramid schemes, part-time work and depressingly low wages. This is exasperating and discouraging. The rude awakening also includ­ es preparing resumes, filling out long, detailed application forms and selling themselves in inter­ views at a time when their feelings of self-esteem and confidence are somewhat battered. Then they painfully wait for employers who thoughtlessly don’t inform their applicants of the outcome of their hiring decisions. They feel margin­ al, unwanted, unnecessary, dis­ carded ... nobody wants or needs what they have to offer. The first job may not be a magical answer. The ex-farmer needs to take time to learn his needs, talents and abilities. He should expect to stumble around awhile before he finds his niche. One ex-farmer advises “Don’t rush - take your time. Know for sure what you want to do.” If a family has any investment capital left, they might be tempted to start or buy a business of their own. This way they can still be their own boss. This is also dangerous. They may be too anxious and buy a business that is' not suitable for them, one for which they have no feel for the market, or perhaps a business that has significant and well-disguised financial problems. A person who takes a position in commissioned sales or other em­ ployment significantly different from his or her background may be thinking, “Ami going t,o make it? Am I going to fail or not?” This threat to self-esteem comes on the heels of trying tocope with feelings of failure for losing the farm. People in this spot may think there is something wrong with them, when, in fact, they are going through a process of learning about themselves and matching them­ selves to the world of employment. Another obstacle to adjustment might be unrealistic expectations of what constitutes acceptable salaries and prestige equivalent to farming. Some people expect $200,000-a-year jobs and feel frustrated and disappointed in anything less. Pride gets in the way of doing whatever it is they have to do to helptheirfamiliessurvive. It really is starting over again, often at the bottom. Families adjust more quickly when they realize their first task is to put food on the table and then look around for something better and more satisfying. Many ex-farmers have their hearts set on jobs related to agriculture. This way they can continue to associate with farmers and operate in an industry they know and care about. Unfortunately, with agriculture being down, these agri-business jobs are scarce and subject to potential layoffs. If that happens, the ex-farmer is confronted with a second round of disappointment and failure. Another impediment to success­ ful adaptation to new goals and dreams is the continuing process of grief and acceptance of what has happened. For one man, life was miserable until he gave up com­ pletely on thinking he and his family could go back into farming. When he really closed that door, his attitude and outlook improved. When the family first comes off the farm, there is a feeling of being nomads, of living day to day, of not having a goal or a future that compels their imagination and energy. Their new life doesn’t fall in to place until there is work that is both satisfying and makes ends meet. There is no timetable for grief. It goes on longer than most people realize. The new job and new life can be going well and yet the family may be haunted by memories from the past: “I put on a front. I’m not as happy as I’d like to be. In my heart, I’m still a farmer.” It is normal to have a new life that is going relatively well and still have intrusive thoughts about the past. There is still anguish about fatal mistakes, bitterness about the way things were handled, or regret about losing the special experiences from farm or ranch life. Many ofthesefamilies simul­ taneously experience a sense of relief at being away from a life with such incredible risks. They do not miss the severe blows from nature, the long hours of hard work with no return, the intense stress of scrambling to survive and having to face their lender with their future in his hands. Many ex-farmers are apprecia­ tive ofdays off and evenings at home. Unexpectedly, they find more time for each other and more time for involvement with child­ ren’s activities. There is freedom in not being tied down by livestock and the demands of the farm. It feels like a family again. In looking back on their trials and hard times in adjusting to a new way of life, ex-farmers report being pleased with how things are turning out: ”1 haven't felt so good in years! It was crazy to be there (farming). ’ ’ ‘Hike my work.” “For us, it (their new life) is better.” “How much more positive our life is now!” “It wasn't as horrible as we thought. It was a good move.” The above article is excerpted from the work of Vai Farmer, a U.S. psychologist. EDWARD POURS ON THE Save 20<t per litre/kilogram on selected quality Shell lubricants* yhis Spring, you can’t do better than Edward Fuels as we are really pouring on the savings. 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