HomeMy WebLinkAboutThe Signal, 1929-12-12, Page 2• .'
Decrobsr 12, IRO.
THE SIGNAL,
-- GODERICH, ONT.
e►
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Jvear1d
e e,
the Yule-tideSpri
illustrated by Hubert t9YCathieu 'By P. C. Wodeliouse
Bertie Wooster Has a Christmas Thought
HE letter arrived uu the woruing
of the eixleeuth. I was puahlug
abbe of breakfaa; tato jbe Wuu-
• yter fat's at the 'imamate; and
•-feeling fairly well forUUpped frith
toffee and kippers, 1 dheided to
*reek the news to Jecves without de-
lay. As Shakespeare say's, If you're
going to do a thing, you might Just
as well pop right at it and get It over.
The man would be disappointed, of
counts, and possibly even chagrined.
but, dash It all, a dime of dissappolnt-
aleut here and there (Mee a fellow good.
Makers him realise the( life lb slern
and life is earnest.
Ylb Jeerer," 1 said.
sir r
"We have here n communication
from Lady Wickham Inviting me to
Skeldinga for the teetivitlea. We nes
lair thither on the twenty-third. We
.'hall be there some little time, I ex-
pert."
There was a pause. I could feet be
was directing a (rusty gaze a1 me.
"I thought I understood you to say,
1.1r, that you proposed to visit Monte;
Carlo immediately after (Mbrtatmaa."
"1 know. But that's alt off. Plans
t hanged."
At this point the telephone -bell rang,
tiding over very nieely what had
thrvatened to be an awkward torment.
Jeeves unhooked the re -.elver.
-Yee' Yee. madaw.. , .. Very
good. madam. Item is Mr. Webster."
Ile handed me the Inatrutue'nt. "Mrs.
eftenser dregetn, air."
You know, every now and tbN 1
Htet help feeling that .teevtee is 100411111
hit grip In his prime It would bevel
might have a little eeen„e."
(julte the wrong tone of course, bei
what men one do? . o
� "Itertte, (.ally ti'Igkiuem tella,dile he
has Melted you to Skeldings fer Ili tot
alas. Are you going:'"
"Rather!"
• 'fell, behave yourself. lAdy Wick-
ham is an old friend of wine."
"1 shall naturalh endeavor, Aunt
.tgatha." 1 repled stiffly, "to conduct
i myself in a manner befitting an Eng-
lish gt•ntleman laying a vtedt—"
"What did you say? Speak up. I
can't hear."
"1 said Right -ho."
"Oh? Well, mind you do. Aud there's
another reason why 1 particularly
wish you to be as little of an imbecile
as you eren manage while at Skeldinga.
Sir Roderick (llosaop will be there."
'What!" ,'
"Don't bellow like that." • .
"Did you say Sir lt,sterick Glossop?",
I1
did."
"Teal don't mean Tippy Glossop?" ,
"1 mean Sir Roderick Oloasop.l
Which was my reason for saying Sir
Roderick Glossop. New, Bettie, 1 want
you to listen tome attentively. Are
you there"
"Yea. Still here."
"Well, then, listen. I hare at bra
succeeded, atter incredible dieJrulty;
and in face of all the evidence, In al-
most pervcnadli,g Sir Roderick that you'
are not netually insane.' Ile is pre-'
paned to suspend Judgment until he bat
seen y'w mace more. On ,your behavior: t
at Skthiings, therefore—"
/be '1 had hung up the receiver. t
Iw-enty-third, Jtrves w'ss aloof and re-
t served. And before dinner oft the Ars
night of t y'-t-ialt be pelt the studs in
, my dress shirt in w:hnt 1-e1ti only call
a marked ''[biter. The whole thing
was extremely painful, and it seemed
t to me, a. 1 lay In bed on the morning
of the twenty-fourth, that the only
r step to take wee to put the whole facts
of the cane before him and truet to
j his native iteeel sense to effect an un-
derstanding.
n-
derstanding.
11y bostee+'. Lady t1'h•kham. was a
beaky female, built far test obesely on
the lines of my Auto Agatha for com-
fort ; hat daughter Roberta had wel-
comed inc with a warmth which, I'm
boutkl to say, had set my the old heart-
atrllgs fluttering it bit. And Sir Rod-
erick, in the brief moment we bad had
together. bad sad "Ila, young man ""—
not particularly chummily, but he said
lt; and my view was that It practi-
cally amounted to the lion lying down
with the lamb.
So. all in all, fife at thin juncture
Seemed pretty well all to the mustard,
and I derided to tell Jeers* exactly
hue matters aloud.
"Jeeves," I said, as be appeared.
"I'm afraid srat.hing that Monte
Carlo trip has been a bit of,,,a jar for
you. Jeeres."
"Not at all, air."
"Oh. yes. It has. i've seen it. Very
well, then. What 1 wish to impress,
upon you. Jeevee, is that it was
hrough ne light and airy caprice that
I aetepte'el this invitation to Lady
Wickham'.. I hs,ve been angling for
"Sir?"
t "You know what 1 mean. Tell her
I'm ratbpr a good -chap. Mention Spy
hidden depths. These things get round.
A boost to never wasted. Jeeves."
Very good, air.
"Ilut what?"
"What I was about to remark, if
rum will exc'uae me, sir, was that I
would scarcely bare thought Miss
Wickham a auttable—"
"Jeeves," 1 said coldly; "what la your
kick against Miaa Wlckbatatr9"
'1)b. really. alrlej
"Jeeves, 1 insist."
"It merely creased my mind, air,
that for a gegtlwlean of your descrip-
tion lilies Wickham is not a suitable
mate."
"What do you mean by a gentleman
of my description?"
"1 beg your pardon, sir, The ex-
pression escaped me inadvertently. 1
was about to observe, air, that, though
Silas Wiekham is a charming young
ladv�"
"There, Jeeves, you spoke an iw-
perie! quart. What eytes:"
"Yes, sir."
"What hair!"
"Very true, air."
"And what eapieglerle—lf that's the
word 1 want."
"The exact word, air."
"All right. teen. ('arry on."
'1 grant Miss Wickham the Ier.iee-
tion of all these detolrable qualities'
air. Nevertheless, Miss Wickham
leeks seriousness, air. She is too vola-
tile and friolous. To qualify as Mian
Wickhaal's hnslaunl, a gentleman
19,
•
•
—�
H., h,wv. , 1.•..1„
,...f•ty 10
1,
sett with hint the work of a moment
have told .my Mut Agatha that 1
",t+ not at home. I gave him one of
those repracatule glances, and took
the machine.
-Iloilo?" 1 said. `Yes? les?
les? Berle speaking. rialto? 111111o?
Hullo?"
"Don't keep on Baying Hallo," yipped
rtes old relative, in her euatnmary curt''
manner. "You're not a parrot. *tomes!
times 1 wish on were, ttee$use then -you
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as "ghln' R111,40 had nvJ rnn,..l ,,.r ,rirA„ .,�� j,„ti,l l., /toy. hoed art th. -.14 Anr,t-atringa ikilarrjny a "11.
•
Slotk.•l. T11a1'. w.htet 1 was.
Thfs 4;l,rsyol, ora.• a forneldahie old
bird with a bald head and enielzee
eyebrows. by prt,fe•eti'gt a loony -doe -
tor. !low it halgt('ne'.I. 1 tomtit'' t.•ll
you ,o this day. but 1 once trop engaged
to his daughter Honorls. a ghastly dy-
namic exhibit who rend Nietzw-he and
had a Iangh like waves breaking 011 A
Merit and rock-bound coast. The fix-
ture ons screeched, owing to events
• It far weeks, prompted by many eem-
aWeratltnee. It was lmptratfre that t
reeled tenet to Ske:tiine- for .i,,1st-
uut-. -beeves, t01'1.9191/• 1 ku.ot that r
'l'gpley Glossop w'ns going to he i .•. '.
. "Sir R'sleriek (;l.ewg., sir?"
Itis nephew. Ten nnty have ol.
served hanging ate.ut the place a ltd.
low with light heir ,and a Clie-eire-
rtrt gripe. That is Tippy. and 1 neve
leen anxious for .0/11141 111111' 1,, _ •t
to gripe with him. The Wooster honor
Aloft .tgathn. for instfin''e, ngah,st m,•.
Itroad-minded. Jerre., 1 think?'
'Ex trenwly, air."
-Well, then, as 1 ray, i sought this
nippy out, 'Peres. and hnbnnbheal :end
what do you think he did?'
"1 mold not say. sir."
'I will tell you. line night, atter
dinner at the Deems ('ell., he bet me
1 mothe't swing ,nv-.elf scree. the,
serimming-bath by the repos and rearm;
1 tu'k him on. and ens lnzsing atonal
In great style until 1 come to the lost
rifilt. ,lad then 1 found that this fiend
In human shape And Pause' It hawk
against tete rail, thus leaving tee hang.
Ing in the void with no meats of get-
th'g fishery. to my hone and loved
one.,
"There was nothing for it but to
drop into the water, Autl what 1
maintain. Jeerer, is that. If I can't
g'e't back at him somehow at Skeldinga
-with all the rant resources which a
reentry house affords at my diipo,gtl
- t am net the man i was."
"1 set', sir."
".inti now, Jeerer', we mine to the
most important reason why 1 bad to
oppnd ('hriatsaa at Skeldinga. Jeores."
1 said, wreathed in Mnahee. "the fact
of the matter is. I'm in hike."
Itutee ! sir?"
"You've seen Miss Roberta Wiek-
ham?"
,.Tee. sir.,.
'VOrt well. then "
There was a pollee while i let It
sink in
"During your at here, Joe's...," 1•
sa111, "you n Ill, no doubt, he thrown
t geed deeei together with Allan Wick -
ham's meld. stn stele ,a•.aslone. pitch
.1 ,trove.'.
occurring whkb convinced the old ley
that I was off my napper; and since
then he has always had my name at
the top ut lila list of l_4.etiee• 1 Hatt
Lunchwt With.
"Jeetee," 1 salol, all of a twitter, "do
you loom what? Sir IGaleriek
•sop is going to he at i,atiy lek-,
heals " 1
Cern god. .1rif you are fin-
i.he,i Irrenkd,st, I will clear away."
1'olel and' haughty. No artists thy.
''one of the rallying -round spirit which
"te likes lo''es. As 1 had airtk'Ipated•
,leetes had been looking forward to a
little flutter at the tables' We Wore•
titers eau wear the mask. I ignore
his lack of decent feeling. °T
"10i. so, J,reve's," I said proudly.
Going down to Sketdinga, on the
fcteavivetectioctehrtgtovvertglectorttrupe;
Fruits - Nuts - Candies
Fruits, Nuts and Candies are as esaeni to your
Christmas table as lights are to your Christmas tree.
We offer you a choice selection now at the most rea-
sonable prices
Oranges, Bananas, Grape Fruit, Nuts, Dates,
Layer Raisins, Figs, Olives, Christie's Cakes,
Candies, Celery, Plum Pudding, Canadian, Swiss
and Roquefort Cheese, etc.
STURDY'S CASH GROCERY
"EVERYTHING GOOD FOR THE TABLE"
West Sick of Square
• •
Telephone 299
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t• involved."
I took a sip of ten, for the mere
memory of my wrongs had shaken toe,
"In sidle or the feet that yeuna T,,t.-
0 is the nephew of Sir Roderick mos
-'op. at whose hand-. Jeeves, as you
ere aware, i have coffered) mach. 1
fraternized with hint freely. 1 raid
to myself that a lintlt it tent to ire
blunted for his relation.. and that 1
toll hate to have Inv pals hold my
n"nl1 'well to pmnaess a commanding
pa'rsouality and eonthlertble etrehgth
d rhararter."
"Exact:)-:"
'1 wonll always hesitate to recotn.
.stem( as 11 11fe'a tttrmpanion a young
1 dM witl, such a ',Did shade of red
hair. Iced hair, sir, is dangerous"
I eyed the blighter squarely.
"Je'eres," 1 sold, "ymt're talking
rat."
"Very good, sir." .
"Very good, air --I mean very
good.
)spare ; that will be all'." I said.
And I drank a modicum of tea
e goal deal of hantenr.
it isn't often that I and myself able
to prove Jeeves In the wrong;
dinner -time that night I was to a
tion to do an, and i did It without dee-
lay.
Touching on hat matter
s
with
1)ttt by
•
pati•
were
touching on, Jeeves," I said, "1 phoned
b.e glad It' you wood give me your eare'-
fill attention for a moment. 1 nnrnyn„
that what i am about to say 1s gntn*
to make you look pretty silly."
indeed. air?'
Jeereee. Pretty doodled silly it's
going to make you look. Tbie morning,
If i remember rightly, you stated that
Miss Wickham woe volatile, frivol/me,
and tacking In eerionsnc'as. Am 1 eor-
"tjuite come' -t, ,.ir."
"Then what I have to tell ton may
ennse yen to alter that opinion. 1
went for a walk with Miss Wliekh*m
this afternoon; and, as we walker(, i
told her *,tont what young Tuppy
Glossop did to me In the swimming
bath at the Drones. Jibe hung upon
my (verde, Jeeves and was full of
sympathy."
.•indeeri, Mr?"
"Dripping with it. And that's not
nit. Almost before 1 had finished, rhe
was 'nggesting the brainiest 'scheme
for bringing young Tuppy'a gray hairs
In sorrow to the grave that anyone
maid lxweibIy imagine,"
'That ie very gratifying, air."
"Gratifying is the word. It appears
that et the %chord where Mies Wickham
wit. afnestted, Jatret, ft used to ?te-
rmite necessary from time to time for
the right thinking element to 'tip It
across certain of the baser sort. 1►0
n,t know what they did. Jeer.'.?"
'No, sir."
"They took a long attek, Jeans, and
--follow ate elerety here -they tied a
darning needle to rho end of it. T'h'ai,
*t dead of night they "meekest Into the
party of the aeenad part's enblele and
.-41,,,,sI the nee -111,' through the ta•d
cfulhes,misi plIe'tureel her lot -water �
bottle.
"Well, Jeeves, that was the acbtvue
which Mims Wlckbaiu suggested 1
should work on young Tuppy. and that
Is the girl you call frivolous and lack-
ing iu aerioutmess. Any girl who can
think up a wheeze like that 1s my
idea of a helpmate.
"1 shall be glad, Jeeves, if by the
time I come to bed tonight you have
waiting for me in this room a stoat
aattactlek hed." with a good sharp darnhtg-needle
"Well, air—"
Jes" 1 , "noher wd.
i Ick, s...one, and moilssaidt , dasoutrning, Roodor,
rtyrp, one, without tall, at eleven-
tblrty tonight."
"Very Nod, air.
"Have you any idea where young
*TAD 11411VICV VIE 411 VCR It WC 111111110111
I
'fs
cT)
We will be ready to take care of your Christmas
orders for Cut Flowers, Flowering Planta and Christ-
mas Wreaths,( Ali chgice hock. Pleaae plate your or-
der just as soon aspossible, so that you can be better
served and avoid the rush that always comes at the
last minute.
We can also have Flowers delivered in Can-
ada. United States, ��Eerurope and other, countries:
Geo. Stewart
Florist
Phone 105 Bruce Street
Tuppy sleeps?"
2
7
"I could ascertain, air."
"Do so, Jeeves."
In a few alinutea be was back wlttt
the lukewarm, tutor -mash.
Mr. Glossop 1s established in the
Meat Room, sir."
"Where's that?"
'The second door
low, sir."
"Right -bo, Jeeves."
The task to which 1 had set myself
wals one that involved hardship stud
diaromfort, for it meant sitting up till
well into the email hours, and then
padding down a soled corridor. But I
did not shrink from it. Atter all,
there is a lot to be said for family
tradition. We Woomera did our bit
In the Crusades.
It being Chrtstaus Eve, there was as
eu the fluor he.
L had foreseen, a good deal of revelry4'11')0,112,4314421a
lott
and
what so that 11 waan't till
one that i got to my room. Allowing for A Signal Calendar fpr Every Paid -in -Advance Subscriber
everything, it didn't seem that it was
going to he safe to start my little ex-
pedition till half past two at the ear- krinfignillitirgirlIEWIEVAtiratir“rtlarlitiraltnegt
ex-
ited; ; and 1'tn bound to say that It wart
only the utmost rt'aolution that kept
me front snuggling into the sheets and I a
Pali hog It a day. I'm not moult ,.f a West Street Electrical Shop
lad now for Irate horns.
However, by half -past two every- lite
thing appeared to be quiet. I grabbed
the good old stiek and needle, and of, /tee rt.
Along the corridor. And presently, 111
panning outside the Moat Room, t i
turned the handle, found the door ; e
R
ain't locked,
and weal In.
t first, when I bad beetled In, the lr
i3 ad seemed as black as a coal
cellar; t after a bit things began to
lighten. �
e•urtaina weren't quite fa
drawn over 'rhe window, and I could I
HP! a trifle of the scenery here and
there.
The beta was opposite titf window,' kgkg
w 1 t the head against the wall .Mei �
the end where the feet were, Jutting . tig
out toward where I stood, thus ren- ! II/
possible, tiering It atter one tiled.sown
the ,teed, so to speak, to make a quick QT
get -away.
There only remained now the rattler
tricky problem of locating the aid hot•
water bottle. i mean to say, the one zr
thing you can't do it you want to I.
entry a Joh like this tbroegh with
secrecy and disprteb1s to stand at the
end of a fellow's bed, jabbing at ran•
dom.
good deal cheered, at this
juncture. to hear a fruity .pore Dorn
the direction of the pillows. Reason
told me that a bloke who could snore -
like that wasn't going to he awakennl
hr a trifle. I ran a hand over the
eoverlet. A moment later 1 had found
the bulge. i steered the good old
darning -needle on it, gripped the stick,
and shoved. Then. pulling out the
weapon. 1 .Idled toward the door, and
in another moment would have been
topside. when suddenly there trema ■
crash that sent wy spine shooting up
through the top of my bead, and the
contents of the bed sat up like a jack-
in-the-box and midi
(Continued on page 3t
ts
There is always an appropriate Electric Gift for Christ- 21
mas. Step in and let us show you our full Sao/
Heaters
Irons
Warming Pads
Boudoir Lamps
Toastmaster Toasters
A
tit0
Aii
SEE OUR STOCK OF FLASHLIGHTS
F
gg
Percolators Table Lamps
Grills Curling Tongs
Waffle Irons Fixtures, etc.
NEVISITIV
We have a nice line of Vases.suit-
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Frank McArthur
Phone 82 West Street Goderich
%;:' //.v/•��� a/fir r /
/, "3.4
3
//�tIG�,,(✓/ �,, / �4.'i
OUR LARGE STOCK OF s
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Chesterfield ' Tables, Gate Leg foTables, Occasional Tables, Dinner
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A
We are agents for the Maxwell Electric Washer.
One of these or an Electric Vacuum Cleaner would
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Gift.
J. R.
WHEELER 1
Funeral Director and Furniture Dealer
HAMILTON ST. Pitooes: Stere 33S, Res. 35Sw
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