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The Citizen, 1988-02-10, Page 16PAGE 16. THE CITIZEN, WEDNESDAY, FEBRUARY 10, 1988. How to break the news of an engagement Congratulations, you just be­ came engaged and now you’re wondering whodoyou tell the good news to first. Traditionally, the bride’s par­ ents hear first. If they know your finace well, you might share the news together. Your fiance does not have to ask for your hand these days. But it could be reassuring on both sides if your dad and he spent time alone together. If your family doesn’t know your fiance, you may wish to tell them by yourself. Talking to your parents alone will give them the chance to re act honestly, whether they’re unsure of your relationship with him or they simply want to kiss you and cry over you in private. If you live far away and can’t manage a trip back home to tell your parents the happy news in person, call or write with your plans, arranging a visit to intro­ duce your man to them. His parents get the good news next... you and your fiance - or he alone - can tell his parents in much the same way you told yours. If either of you has divorced parents, and one parent raised you or him, tell that parent first. Tell the other parent immediately after that, so the news is heard from you. Then it’s your closest friends and relatives - phone or write them, as special people deserve to hear from you or a family member, rather than through the grapevine. Printed engagement cards sent through the mail are not tradition­ al, but a newspaper announcement is. The wording? Mr. and Mrs. Walter Brown of West Street announce the engagement of their daughter Katherine Anne to Mr. Theodore Hanson of London. An August wedding is planned. An engagement party the night The tuxedo is 100 years young The tuxedo was “born” at the first Autumn Ball in October, 1886, when young Griswold Lorillard, son of Pierre V., wore the tailless dress coat to this grand ball of the societal resort area of Tuxedo Park, New York. At this time, Tuxedo Park - 40 miles northwest of New York City, overlooking Tuxedo Lake - was an elite hunting and fishing resort, known as the millionaire's haven. Griswold Lorillard, the fashion maverick, shocked the society circle, when he sported the tailless coat to the Tuxedo Park Club’s white-tie-and-tails Autumn Ball. There are tales that the coat worn by Griswold (Grizzy for short) was designed by his father and was a scarlet satin-lapeled affair which was tailored, it not tailed, along the lines of the pink coats worn by hunters riding to hounds. Thetuxedowas not an instant success, yet it was not without its admirers. Traditionalists adopted a condescending attitude toward the innovation, regarding it as semi-formal evening attire. The tuxedo came in two styles: With a shawl collar and satin-faced lapels, and with peaked lapels. According to the American Formalwear Association, the tuxe­ do look has always been more popular in the USA than in Europe due to its greater informality and comfort. The complete outfit is often referred to in America as “Black Tie” in distinction from the formal “White Tie”. (or the night before) the announce­ ment appears would be fun if you’d rather try to surprise everyone. No need to put any hints on the invitations. Your ring(ifyou have it already), your smile and a toast led by your father should tell the whole, happy story to the guests. Getting the families together As soon as you’ve told your families, tradition says your fian­ ce’s parents invite your parents over. But not everyone knows this FROM HIS-WARES TO HER-WARES... FROM UPSTAIRS TO DOWNSTAIRS... FROM HARDWARE TO SOFTWARE... FROM HOUSEWARES TO YOUR CARES... ---------------OLD FIELD microwaves & stands OUR COMPLETE SHOPPING CENTRE computers & software IS ALL UNDER ONE ROOF FOR YOUR ADDED CONVENIENCE! OLDFIELD----------- Pro Hardware and Radio Shack 887-6851 custom, so your fiance might clue his mother and father in - or you might suggest your parents make the overtures. When your parents meet you may - or may not - be involved. The parents may want to be alone to congratulate each other on raising such fine offspring and to discuss their roles in the wedding (do the groom’s parents pick up the liquor tab? Will the mot hers wear long dresses or short?) Their meeting should be in a setting comfortable for both. (There can be a gathering with brothers and sisters later.) Are your parents - or his - divorced? They can be entertained separately ifthetwosets ofparents livefar apart - or the wedding is someplace other than in one of their home towns?) The mothers can arrange for the families to arrive at the wedding city early, so everyone’s well acquainted by the big day. If your parents aren’t likely to see eye to eye (you may be from different religious or economic backgrounds), plan their first meeting to be short and perhaps held in a public place. Above all, you reiax. And if any compromise (classic black tie rather than coloured tuxes?) will help smooth the situation, do it. You’ll always be glad you got family relations off to the best start.