HomeMy WebLinkAboutThe Citizen, 1990-11-07, Page 20PAGE 20. THE CITIZEN, WEDNESDAY, NOVEMBER 7, 1990.
From the Minister's Study
Deal with grief head-on, minister says
BY REV. CAROLYN McAVOY
MELVILLE PRESBYTERIAN
BRUSSELS
KNOX PRESBYTERIAN
BELGRAVE
Back when I was in Sunday
school there was a teacher who
always had us memorize a scripture
verse and recite it each week.
What I remember most about
that was John 11:35 ... “Jesus
wept’’. That verse sure got a lot of
use! In fact, eventually the teacher
made a rule where a student could
only use that verse once a quarter!
Funny how you remember that
verse ... and yet as Christians, in
reality, we don’t often think about
the significance of that verse.
“Jesus wept’’ ... very human, very
risky, very vulnerable, Jesus wept.
We forget too, the contest of the
verse. Jesus came up on a scene of
grief...a scene where two of his
close friends, Mary and Martha,
were grieving the loss of their
brother Lazarus. Jesus goes on to
raise Lazarus from the dead, a very
tangible sign of his power and
sonship, especially before entering
Jerusalem for his final days. We
talk about the spectacular raising of
Lazarus from the dead ... but we
don’t talk too much about the
sobbing, the sadness, the grief that
prompted John to tell us that
“Jesus wept’’. Why is that? Why
don’t we talk about grief?
We live in a throw-away society;
a society that is so fast paced it
waits for no one; a society that is so
concerned with intelligence and
technology that it has no time ...
indeed it looks upon the emotional
...it almost ridicules and steps on
those who are vulnerable. We
don’t talk about grief, we don’t
talk about death, we don’t feel
comfortable with any of it. A big
part of us wants people to get on
with plans.
Consider this story: “A man was
flying home from Miami. Among
the passengers was a rowdy group
of friends returning from a cruise
and a teenage girl who was
obviously in desperate trouble. She
had been terminally ill for almost
two years, but her family was
surprised to find something hap
pening so soon. Doctors on the
plane worked on the young girl, but
she died.
The plane landed early in Dallas
and all the passengers were taken
from the plan and watched as the
young woman’s body was carried
down the steps of the 747 to a
waiting hearse. As everyone
boarded the plane again, the man
noticed the sombre and subdued
mood of the party crowd. Being a
pastor he volunteered to speak to
the group, or help in any way he
could. The stewardess thanked him
but said this ... “I appreciate your
offer...but we’ve decided to give all
of the passengers free drinks. That
ought to make them feel better.”
As we come up to Remembrance
Day this week I think it is obvious
to many that our world today deals
with death in a far different way
than in days gone by .. perhaps
because in the state of cold war and
nuclear weaponry the reality of the
violent death that comes in war has
seemed a far away reality ..
perhaps because as a society we
have less faith to deal with matters
of life and death ... a million
‘perhaps’. But we don’t deal with
head on with death and loss and
bereavement. We try to forget,
ignore, escape.
There are so many kinds of grief.
We are most familiar of course with
the intense grief that comes after
the death of a loved one. Widely
speaking though ... grief comes
when we have the loss of a dream.
We experience grief when relation
ships change ... when a friendship
goes downhill, when we find our
selves in all the brokenness of
divorce, when we move from a
place where we feel loved and
comfortable, when we change
schools or jobs ... when we realize
that we can no longer continue a
certain lifestyle that we enjoyed,
because we aren’t physically able.
Grief comes when we have loss,
and we all experience loss.
The experience of grief is like a
spiral ... lots of work and yet the
work done doesn’t necessarily
move us from one ‘stage’ to
another. Sometimes we feel like we
are going crazy, like we are never
going to get a grip, we accomplish
certain ‘grief tasks’ and maybe
even feel like we’ve accepted our
loss, and then we hear a favourite
song, or someone’s birthday comes
up and they aren’t there, or we see
a picture of that favourite place we
used to live, and all the feelings
flood back again, and we wonder if
we’ll ever make it through this. It is
a spiral, a gradual erratic process
and we will feel vulnerable and
confused and like we have no
control.
The greatest gift that can be
given to one who mourns is the gift
of patient listening. Listening with
no agenda, and no time limits.
Accepting another person where
they are, letting them know that it
is okay with you, regardless of what
they are feeling that day. Patient
listening. Listening with no per
sonal agenda of how the person
‘should’ be coping, and no time
limits.
The neat thing about this, is that
relationships, very special relation
ships develop in such an atmo
sphere.
Maybe Jesus knew this when he
wept, maybe he was just overcome
with the emotions of grief... but we
read that he did weep. He experi
enced the pain. Sometime maybe
you’ll think of it, maybe you’ll
remember that Jesus wept. What
does that say to you?
Welcoming Jesus, sermon theme
Greeters at Blyth United Church
on Sunday, Nov. 4 were Bodie and
Ollie Craig. Ushers were Cliff and
Bev Snell and Bill and Susan
Howson.
Four white pot mums were
placed in front of the church in
dedicated memory of Joe Marks
who passed away one year ago
November 3, 1989 and also in
loving tribute to Lome and Emma
(Garner) Scrimgeour whose wedd
ing day was 90 years ago November
6, (900. Hymns were “When
Morning gilds the skies”, “Jesus
Thou Joy of Loving Hearts” and
“Come let us sing of a Wonderful
Love”. The scripture reading was
Luke 19 (1-10). The anthem was
entitled “Spirit of Gentleness”
sung by the Junior and Interme
diate choir with special solo parts
by Jill Walden, Zoey Onn, Abigail
Ramirez and Sandy Walsh. It was
announced that there will be a
Sunshine Unit meeting at 2 p.m. on
Thursday, Nov. 8. Next week is
Family Sunday and Remembrance
Day. There will be no Sunday
School.
The title of the sermon was
“Welcome Jesus Gladly”. The
scripture reading reveals the story
Stratford hosts Fall Rally
“Partners with God” was the
theme for the fall rally of the
Stratford-Huron Presbyterial held
in North Mornington Presbyterian
Church on Tuesday, October 30.
Mrs. Bob Edmunds of Mitchell,
presided.
The morning devotions were led
by Mrs. Alvin McKay and Mrs.
Joyce Harris of the Emily Garten
group of St. Andrews Church,
Stratford. Rev. G. W. Blatch
welcomed the women to North
Mornington and Rev. Wm. J.
Milne, moderator, brought greet
ings from Presbytery.
Mrs. Gordon Alexander of RR 4,
Listowel, brought greetings from
Stratford-Huron Presbyterial and
reported on the annual meeting of
the Hamilton-London Synodical,
held in Paterson Memorial Presby
terian Church, Sarnia.
Miss Evelyn Murdoch, Area
Educational Consultant for London-
Hamilton Synod, conducted a Bible
Study Workshop during both the
morning and afternoon sessions
while Mrs. Helen Sinclair of
Guelph led workshops on conduct
ing more interesting and effective
meetings.
Following lunch, the video, en
titled “New Hope In Central Amer
ica" was shown to introduce our
new mission study on Central
America. A short hymn sing led by
Mrs. Margaret Allen preceded the
afternoon devotions which were led
by Mrs. Marjorie Young and Mrs.
Jean Peebles of the Atwood Elma
auxiliary. Two beautiful duets, “I
Walk with His Hand in Mine” and
“How Long Has it Been?” were
sung by Mrs. Mary Denstedt and
Mrs. Jean Bain of Milverton.
The roll call was answered by
telling “How are you a partner with
God?” Mrs. Jean Edmunds dedi
cated the offering and Mrs. Shirley
Nind of Listowel gave the courtesy
remarks.
of how Zaccheus, the tax-gatherer,
climbed a sycamore tree in order to
see Jesus as He was passing
through Jericho. Zaccheus saw
himself as a man with an inner
need or thirst for God’s love and
forgiveness. He had heard so much
about this man Jesus and in his
longing for fulfillment went out of
his way with determination to reach
him. When Jesus stopped and
asked if he could stay in his house,
Zaccheus received him gladly and
welcomed him by saying (V8)
“Behold, Lord, half of my posses
sions I will give to the poor, and if I
have defrauded anyone of any
thing, I will give back four times as
much.” Rev. Ramirez asked “How
deep is our yearning for Christ to
be in our lives? He said that as
much as God seeks us, we need to
see God and we should have the
kind of faith that Zaccheus showed
- an active faith.
He referred to Isaiah 55, v. 6, 7
“Seek the Lord while He may be
found, Call upon Him while He is
near, Let the wicked forsake his
way and the unrighteous man, his
thoughts and let him return to the
Lord.” In closing Rev. Ramirez left
the congregation with two more
questions to ponder “Do we wel
come Jesus into our home?” and
“Does Jesus know he has a spot in
our hearts?”
HAPPY 25th WEDDING ANNIVERSARY
Nancy and Keith Allen
Love from your s.
ANGLICAN CHURCH
OF CANADA
REV. DAVID FULLER, B.A., M. DIV.
November 11 Pentecost 23
MORNING PRAYER
Blyth
9:30 a.m.
Brussels
11: 15 a.m.
Melville
Presbyterian Church
BRUSSELS
Rev. Carolyn McAvoy
11:00 a.m. - Morning Service
- Sunday School
9:30 a.m. - Belgrave Service
We welcome you to come and worship with us!
HURON CHAPEL MISSIONARY
CHURCH
PASTOR JAMES H. CARNE
AUBURN 526-7515
10:00 a.m. - Family Bible Hour
11:00 a.m. - Morning Service
8:00 p.m. - Evening Service
Tuesday, 4:15 - Kids’ Klub
Wednesday - LiVestyle Evangelism
Friday, 7:30 - Youth
BLYTH CHRISTIAN
REFORMEDCHURCH
HIGHWAY4, BLYTH
DR. W. H. LAMMERS
Sunday at 10a.m. and 2:30p.m.
Sunday School 11:00a.m.
The Church of the‘‘Back to God Hour” and “Faith 20”
Back to God Hour 10:30a.m. CKNX Sunday
Faith20 5:00a.m. Weekdays,GlobalT.V.
ALL VISITORS WELCOME
BRUSSELS UNITED CHURCH
Rev. Cameron McMillan
Church office 887-6259 Manse 887-9313
Sunday, November 11
11:00 a.m.
10:30 a.m.
9:30 a.m.
Remembrance Day Service
“A Salute to our Veterans”
Church School Nursery
Cenotaph Service
Legion members will then parade
to Brussels United and join
the congregation for the service.
Ethel Worship Service
Church School
In Flanders field the poppies blow