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HomeMy WebLinkAboutThe Citizen, 1990-11-07, Page 20PAGE 20. THE CITIZEN, WEDNESDAY, NOVEMBER 7, 1990. From the Minister's Study Deal with grief head-on, minister says BY REV. CAROLYN McAVOY MELVILLE PRESBYTERIAN BRUSSELS KNOX PRESBYTERIAN BELGRAVE Back when I was in Sunday school there was a teacher who always had us memorize a scripture verse and recite it each week. What I remember most about that was John 11:35 ... “Jesus wept’’. That verse sure got a lot of use! In fact, eventually the teacher made a rule where a student could only use that verse once a quarter! Funny how you remember that verse ... and yet as Christians, in reality, we don’t often think about the significance of that verse. “Jesus wept’’ ... very human, very risky, very vulnerable, Jesus wept. We forget too, the contest of the verse. Jesus came up on a scene of grief...a scene where two of his close friends, Mary and Martha, were grieving the loss of their brother Lazarus. Jesus goes on to raise Lazarus from the dead, a very tangible sign of his power and sonship, especially before entering Jerusalem for his final days. We talk about the spectacular raising of Lazarus from the dead ... but we don’t talk too much about the sobbing, the sadness, the grief that prompted John to tell us that “Jesus wept’’. Why is that? Why don’t we talk about grief? We live in a throw-away society; a society that is so fast paced it waits for no one; a society that is so concerned with intelligence and technology that it has no time ... indeed it looks upon the emotional ...it almost ridicules and steps on those who are vulnerable. We don’t talk about grief, we don’t talk about death, we don’t feel comfortable with any of it. A big part of us wants people to get on with plans. Consider this story: “A man was flying home from Miami. Among the passengers was a rowdy group of friends returning from a cruise and a teenage girl who was obviously in desperate trouble. She had been terminally ill for almost two years, but her family was surprised to find something hap­ pening so soon. Doctors on the plane worked on the young girl, but she died. The plane landed early in Dallas and all the passengers were taken from the plan and watched as the young woman’s body was carried down the steps of the 747 to a waiting hearse. As everyone boarded the plane again, the man noticed the sombre and subdued mood of the party crowd. Being a pastor he volunteered to speak to the group, or help in any way he could. The stewardess thanked him but said this ... “I appreciate your offer...but we’ve decided to give all of the passengers free drinks. That ought to make them feel better.” As we come up to Remembrance Day this week I think it is obvious to many that our world today deals with death in a far different way than in days gone by .. perhaps because in the state of cold war and nuclear weaponry the reality of the violent death that comes in war has seemed a far away reality .. perhaps because as a society we have less faith to deal with matters of life and death ... a million ‘perhaps’. But we don’t deal with head on with death and loss and bereavement. We try to forget, ignore, escape. There are so many kinds of grief. We are most familiar of course with the intense grief that comes after the death of a loved one. Widely speaking though ... grief comes when we have the loss of a dream. We experience grief when relation­ ships change ... when a friendship goes downhill, when we find our­ selves in all the brokenness of divorce, when we move from a place where we feel loved and comfortable, when we change schools or jobs ... when we realize that we can no longer continue a certain lifestyle that we enjoyed, because we aren’t physically able. Grief comes when we have loss, and we all experience loss. The experience of grief is like a spiral ... lots of work and yet the work done doesn’t necessarily move us from one ‘stage’ to another. Sometimes we feel like we are going crazy, like we are never going to get a grip, we accomplish certain ‘grief tasks’ and maybe even feel like we’ve accepted our loss, and then we hear a favourite song, or someone’s birthday comes up and they aren’t there, or we see a picture of that favourite place we used to live, and all the feelings flood back again, and we wonder if we’ll ever make it through this. It is a spiral, a gradual erratic process and we will feel vulnerable and confused and like we have no control. The greatest gift that can be given to one who mourns is the gift of patient listening. Listening with no agenda, and no time limits. Accepting another person where they are, letting them know that it is okay with you, regardless of what they are feeling that day. Patient listening. Listening with no per­ sonal agenda of how the person ‘should’ be coping, and no time limits. The neat thing about this, is that relationships, very special relation­ ships develop in such an atmo­ sphere. Maybe Jesus knew this when he wept, maybe he was just overcome with the emotions of grief... but we read that he did weep. He experi­ enced the pain. Sometime maybe you’ll think of it, maybe you’ll remember that Jesus wept. What does that say to you? Welcoming Jesus, sermon theme Greeters at Blyth United Church on Sunday, Nov. 4 were Bodie and Ollie Craig. Ushers were Cliff and Bev Snell and Bill and Susan Howson. Four white pot mums were placed in front of the church in dedicated memory of Joe Marks who passed away one year ago November 3, 1989 and also in loving tribute to Lome and Emma (Garner) Scrimgeour whose wedd­ ing day was 90 years ago November 6, (900. Hymns were “When Morning gilds the skies”, “Jesus Thou Joy of Loving Hearts” and “Come let us sing of a Wonderful Love”. The scripture reading was Luke 19 (1-10). The anthem was entitled “Spirit of Gentleness” sung by the Junior and Interme­ diate choir with special solo parts by Jill Walden, Zoey Onn, Abigail Ramirez and Sandy Walsh. It was announced that there will be a Sunshine Unit meeting at 2 p.m. on Thursday, Nov. 8. Next week is Family Sunday and Remembrance Day. There will be no Sunday School. The title of the sermon was “Welcome Jesus Gladly”. The scripture reading reveals the story Stratford hosts Fall Rally “Partners with God” was the theme for the fall rally of the Stratford-Huron Presbyterial held in North Mornington Presbyterian Church on Tuesday, October 30. Mrs. Bob Edmunds of Mitchell, presided. The morning devotions were led by Mrs. Alvin McKay and Mrs. Joyce Harris of the Emily Garten group of St. Andrews Church, Stratford. Rev. G. W. Blatch welcomed the women to North Mornington and Rev. Wm. J. Milne, moderator, brought greet­ ings from Presbytery. Mrs. Gordon Alexander of RR 4, Listowel, brought greetings from Stratford-Huron Presbyterial and reported on the annual meeting of the Hamilton-London Synodical, held in Paterson Memorial Presby­ terian Church, Sarnia. Miss Evelyn Murdoch, Area Educational Consultant for London- Hamilton Synod, conducted a Bible Study Workshop during both the morning and afternoon sessions while Mrs. Helen Sinclair of Guelph led workshops on conduct­ ing more interesting and effective meetings. Following lunch, the video, en­ titled “New Hope In Central Amer­ ica" was shown to introduce our new mission study on Central America. A short hymn sing led by Mrs. Margaret Allen preceded the afternoon devotions which were led by Mrs. Marjorie Young and Mrs. Jean Peebles of the Atwood Elma auxiliary. Two beautiful duets, “I Walk with His Hand in Mine” and “How Long Has it Been?” were sung by Mrs. Mary Denstedt and Mrs. Jean Bain of Milverton. The roll call was answered by telling “How are you a partner with God?” Mrs. Jean Edmunds dedi­ cated the offering and Mrs. Shirley Nind of Listowel gave the courtesy remarks. of how Zaccheus, the tax-gatherer, climbed a sycamore tree in order to see Jesus as He was passing through Jericho. Zaccheus saw himself as a man with an inner need or thirst for God’s love and forgiveness. He had heard so much about this man Jesus and in his longing for fulfillment went out of his way with determination to reach him. When Jesus stopped and asked if he could stay in his house, Zaccheus received him gladly and welcomed him by saying (V8) “Behold, Lord, half of my posses­ sions I will give to the poor, and if I have defrauded anyone of any­ thing, I will give back four times as much.” Rev. Ramirez asked “How deep is our yearning for Christ to be in our lives? He said that as much as God seeks us, we need to see God and we should have the kind of faith that Zaccheus showed - an active faith. He referred to Isaiah 55, v. 6, 7 “Seek the Lord while He may be found, Call upon Him while He is near, Let the wicked forsake his way and the unrighteous man, his thoughts and let him return to the Lord.” In closing Rev. Ramirez left the congregation with two more questions to ponder “Do we wel­ come Jesus into our home?” and “Does Jesus know he has a spot in our hearts?” HAPPY 25th WEDDING ANNIVERSARY Nancy and Keith Allen Love from your s. ANGLICAN CHURCH OF CANADA REV. DAVID FULLER, B.A., M. DIV. November 11 Pentecost 23 MORNING PRAYER Blyth 9:30 a.m. Brussels 11: 15 a.m. Melville Presbyterian Church BRUSSELS Rev. Carolyn McAvoy 11:00 a.m. - Morning Service - Sunday School 9:30 a.m. - Belgrave Service We welcome you to come and worship with us! HURON CHAPEL MISSIONARY CHURCH PASTOR JAMES H. CARNE AUBURN 526-7515 10:00 a.m. - Family Bible Hour 11:00 a.m. - Morning Service 8:00 p.m. - Evening Service Tuesday, 4:15 - Kids’ Klub Wednesday - LiVestyle Evangelism Friday, 7:30 - Youth BLYTH CHRISTIAN REFORMEDCHURCH HIGHWAY4, BLYTH DR. W. H. LAMMERS Sunday at 10a.m. and 2:30p.m. Sunday School 11:00a.m. The Church of the‘‘Back to God Hour” and “Faith 20” Back to God Hour 10:30a.m. CKNX Sunday Faith20 5:00a.m. Weekdays,GlobalT.V. ALL VISITORS WELCOME BRUSSELS UNITED CHURCH Rev. Cameron McMillan Church office 887-6259 Manse 887-9313 Sunday, November 11 11:00 a.m. 10:30 a.m. 9:30 a.m. Remembrance Day Service “A Salute to our Veterans” Church School Nursery Cenotaph Service Legion members will then parade to Brussels United and join the congregation for the service. Ethel Worship Service Church School In Flanders field the poppies blow