HomeMy WebLinkAboutThe Citizen, 1990-10-03, Page 5THE CITIZEN, WEDNESDAY, OCTOBER 3, 1990. PAGE 5.
Dogs real threat,
not cockroaches
Nobody asked, but if I had to name the
most overrated critter on earth, I’d
nominate the cockroach.
Some folks go into a life-threatening
coma when they discover cockroaches in
their bathroom. What’s the big deal?
Cockroaches are tiny, they don’t bark,
scratch the furniture or bite the mailman.
Cockroaches take care of their own food
and exercise requirements, don’t carry
fleas and best of all, if your pet cockroach
dies, who cares? There’ll be 30 million
replacements in the morning.
That’s the scary factor with cockroaches
of course - their incredible fertility.
Cockroaches make babies the way politi
cians make promises. They multiply so fast
they make mink look like monks.
Which turns cockroaches into a very
valuable commodity for newspaper editors.
Any time there’s a slow news day, your
typical editor knows how to plug that ugly
white cavity between the supermarket ad
and the help wanted column. He or she just
reaches for the Roach File and drags out a
story detailing how the lowly cockroach,
tougher than a leopard tank, more hyper
The International
Scene
Little islands
have unique approach
BY RAYMOND CANON
I am one of those people who, the more
I see of the British Isles, the more I become
fascinated with them.
I recall, for example, arriving in London
for the first time during my student days.
Apart from the fact that I had a
considerable amount of difficulty under
standing the local English, there is little
that I recall of the visit; it was by and large
a bore. Nowadays I consider London to be
one of the most interesting cities on the
continent.
However, not all the interesting things
go on in London. Two items have come to
my attention which show that life in the
outlying areas can also have its high
points.
The first revolves around the Herbides, a
group of islands right in the north. More
specifically it concerns two of the islands,
Lewis and Harris which are known for the
strict Sundays which they keep - perhaps
the most strict in the English-speaking
world. It means, for opereners, that
nobody should either work or travel on the
Sabbath and for this reason all the islands’
bars, restaurants, shops, gas stations and
even the public toilets remain tightly shut.
Since there is nothing to do, except
presumably to contemplate your theologi
cal navel, even the ferry does not run.
What has put the cat among the pigeons
is the attempt being made by the shipping
company that serves the islands to intro
duce a Sunday ferry to Harris. The
Presbyterian churches, which keep a close
watch on the Sunday activities, or should I
say the lack of them, are up in arms. With
the support of the local council, the same
churches have set up an action committee
to oppose the sailings. They have had some
unexpected help by others on the island
who see in the Sunday ferry a threat to
their unique way of life.
A couple of islands away lie some which
are predominantly Roman Catholic and
which predictably have much more open
Sundays. The ferry also runs there but
does not, according to reports, appear to
active than a lawyer’s greed gland, able to
leap tall, half-eaten peanut butter sand
wiches in a single bound ...
Is about to knock us all off our perch.
COCKROACHES WILL TAKE
OVER PLANET
... is how the headline ususally thun
ders. All I can say is: Aw, bullrushes.
The cockroach is no threat to us. Oh, I
admit we humans are cruising for a
crackup. You can’t abuse a planet and its
tenants the way we human landlords have
and expect to get away with it forever.
There’s an eviction notice coming from
Mother Nature some day soon. We are
going to lose our Number One rating in the
Species Supremacy Sweepstakes alright -
but it won’t be cockroaches that knock us
off.
It’ll be dogs.
I know. I own one.
Sure, I grant you, he doesn’t look like
leadership material lying on his back there,
in front of the chesterfield with his tongue
lolling on the linoleum. His warrior
potential is not immediately evident, but
don’t be fooled.
He’s plotting. “Lying doggo’’ the Auss-
ies call it. And he’s not alone. All around
the world, even as I type these words,
Alsatians, Dalmations, Wolfhounds and
Dachshunds, Pit Bulls and Cockapoos are
surreptitiously chewing through their
leashes and tunneling under Humane
Social animal shelters. They’ve already
memorized maps of fire hydrants and
synchronized signals (one squirt if by land,
two if by sea...)
have had any negative effects on the life
style of the locals.
If all this sounds familiar to some of my
older readers, it should. You may recall the
1940’s film “Whisky Galore” (also known
as “Tight Little Isle” where a ship carrying
50,000 crates of whisky is wrecked on the
coast of the Hebrides one Sunday. Since
the Presbyterians of one island were
forbidden to do any work on the Sabbath,
they had to sit glumly by and watch their
Roman Catholic neighbours sail out and
carry off the whisky.
The other story takes place at the exact
opposite end of the British Isles; more
precisely on the island of Sark, the smallest
of the Channel Islands. It is only three
miles long and 1.5 miles wide; it does not
ban whisky but cars.
Life is pretty tranquil or at least it was
until recently when the peace was shatter
ed by an unemployed Frenchman who
Letter
Day Centre seeks donations
THE EDITOR,
The Wingham and Area Seniors Day
Centre, formerly known as the Wingham
and Area Day Centre for the Homebound,
greatly appreciates the generous support
we have enjoyed during 1989/90. The
centre continues to provide a high quality
social and recreational day program for
homebound elderly and other adults with
special needs in North Huron and South
Bruce Counties. By allowing people to
remain active in a community program, it
is hoped that they will be able to stay in
their homes as long as possible.
Many changes are taking place at the
day centre. We have recently Jiired another
full time staff person that will allow us to
open a special day for those with Alzheim
er’s and other related disorders. The most
exciting change is the construction of a new
facility designed specifically for people
with special needs. One of the unique
features of this building are automatic
doors that will allow easy access and
maximum safety. The centre is in a
You don’t believe me? You want proof?
Exhibit A: “Doggie Adventure”. This is a
movie, available at better video stores
everywhere, detailing a day in the life of a
dog. Viewers visit parks, city streets, a
barnyard and a couple of chow bowls. The
difference between this and a rerun of
“Lassie Come Home” is that “Doggie
Adventure” is shot from a dog’s perspec
tive - which is to say, about a foot and a
half off the ground. There’s not much
dialogue, but there’s a lot of ambient
sound - water being slurped, dog bones
being crunched, hydro poles being sniffed
and anointed - that sort of thing.
“Doggie Adventure” is a film not just
about dogs, it’s for dogs.
Still unconvinced there’s a fur crusade in
our future? Allow me to introduce the
municipal leader of Sunol, California, a
community in the San Francisco Bay area.
Mayor Bosco was elected to office last
spring.
It’s difficult to say exactly what tilted the
electorate in Mayor Bosco’s favour. Mayor
Bosco won’t talk about his election strategy
at all.
He can’t. Talk about it, I mean. Mayor
Bosco can only bark. He’s a three and a
half year old black Labrador.
Today, Sunol California, tomorrow per
haps a short dog trot up the coast to British
Columbia, where history has shown that
pretty well anything can be a provincial
premier.
Trust me on this -- the world is going to
the dogs.
decided to stage a coup. He posted a sign
in French on Sark’s main bulletin board to
the effect that he would, as the rightful
ruler of Sark, take over the island airspace
and its territorial waters. This, having
exhausted his energies he went off to the
local cemetery to sleep until the specified
deadline. Just so the world would know
what was about to happen, he had sent off
a telex message to many foreign embass
ies. Even at that, he was nabbed by one of
the island’s two policemen for sleeping in a
cemetery which is, in Sark anyway, against
the law. His semi-automatic rifle and 260
rounds of ammunition were also seized.
After serving a seven-day sentence, he was
deported to France. Left answered was
how he was able to smuggle the rifle and
the ammunition past both French and
British customs officials.
Would that all uprisings could be put
down so easily.
position that we need to raise an additional
$8,000 to offset the cost of these doors.
Besides community donations, we receive
funding from the Province of Ontario,
Huron County, Bruce County, Town of
Wingham, Client Fees and local fundrais
ing activities.
As 1990 draws to a close, we are again
asking the public to help us reach our goal
for a total of $18,000 in Community
Donations in addition to ur Fundraising
Activities in order to meet our operating
and capital expenditures for this year.
As a registered charitable organization
we will acknowledge ?11 contributions with
a receipt for Income Tax Purposes. Please
make cheques payable to:
The Wingham and Area Seniors
Day Centre
P.O. Box 939
Wingham, Ontario. NOG 2W0
Earl Hamilton
Chairperson of the
Board of Directors.
Letter
from the
editor
We're acting
like children
BY KEITH ROULSTON
If there is a cynicism on behalf of voters
about their politicians these days, it’s
probably because there is an equal
cynicism on the part of politicians about the
electorate.
The election of the Bob Rae NDP
government in Ontario is widely interpret
ed as a slap on the wrist of politicians who
take voters for granted. Meanwhile the
Progressive Conservative government un
der Brian Mulroney continues to press
stubbornly ahead with its agenda including
high interest rates and the GST even
though a huge majority of those polled are
clearly against the government.
Listen to readers like Finance Minister
Michael Wilson and you clearly get the
feeling the government thinks the people
don’t really know what’s good for them and
the government has to push through its
policies despite the public.
And there are times, if we look at
ourselves, we must admit Mr. Wilson and
his colleagues have a point. If you’ve
raised teenagers you might see a similarity
in the attitude of the Canadian public at
this point in time. We don’t seem to know
how privileged we are and we resent
anybody telling us what we should be
doing.
Never in life is injustice so evident to us
as when we’re teenagers. We measure to
the millisecond the amount of time we’re
asked to contribute to family chores
compared to sisters and brothers. We
nearly get our weigh scales to make sure
the portion of dessert we get is as large as
the others.
The sense of injustice in this country is
amazing. We can always find someone to
resent. No matter how much money we
make, we can see somebody up ahead of us
who’s making more we think we should
catch up to. Or we can look back and see
somebody gaining on us and get upset we
aren’t maintaining our edge. We can see
others who seem to be getting more from
government or see others who seem to be
contributing too little. We can see all the
rules, written or unwritten, that are
keeping us from our rightful place in
society.
To listen to Canadians you’d think we
were the most used and abused people in
the world: why the starving people in
Ethiopia should be reluctant to trade places
with us.
Take taxes. We all complain about new
taxes whether it be the GST or an extra
cent a litre on gas. Every day writers of
letters to the editor or newspaper column
ists say the middle class taxpayer just can’t
take any more. So if we’re so hard up, how
come we can still afford two vacations a
year? How can people in Toronto who
already pay ridiculously high prices for
their houses, also afford expensive cott
ages to get away from the rat race, and
expensive boats to go with the cottages?
How come there have never been so many
people driving Mercedes and Jags and
BMW’s?
And how about gas prices? Canadians
feel terribly injured that they pay more for
gas than their neighbours across the
border. Let the word get out that the price
of gas is about to go up and we’ll break
appointments, maybe even marriage
plans, to line up to save $2.50 on a tankful
of gas. Then we’ll go to the bar to celebrate
our victory against oppression and spend
that much on a single drink.
Of course we only look at the Americans
who are better off than we are when it
comes to gas. We don’t look at England
where they pay more than $3.50 an
American gallon for gas even though they
have one of the world’s largest oil fields.
We don’t look at Italy where the price is
well over the $4 a gallon rate.
Let’s face it, while the politicians may be
a little too sure they have the answers for
us, we Canadians are a spoiled lot who
don’t even know how good we’ve got it.
Continued on page 24