HomeMy WebLinkAboutThe Citizen, 1990-07-04, Page 5THE CITIZEN, WEDNESDAY, JULY 4, 1990. PAGE 5.
It’s a great car
- nobody would
steal it
Best car I ever had in my life was an
ancient, footlocker-green, two-door, stick
shift Volvo with a wonky windshield wiper
and a front bumper held on with a twist of
barbed wire.
Fast? That jalopy couldn’t catch a
wheelchair in a quarter-mile.
Stylish? I’ve seen sexier manure spread
ers.
Mint condition? My Volvo had more
dings and dents than a Boston Bruin
defenceman.
That crate was clunky, arthritic, homely
and slow as a sea slug in peanut butter -
and I loved it like family. Why?
Because that was the whole point! My
car was so utterly and demonstrably
worthless that I never had to worry about it
being swiped! Every year I bought the
least amount of insurance I could get away
with, and every time I climbed out of that
car I left her doors unlocked, windows
down - keys in the ignition, even.
When I came back, she’d always be
where I left her, and I knew it.
i The International
> Scene
Do you have
the right accent?
BY RAYMOND CANON
I have been reading a book on the
activities of John Neville while he was the
artistic director of the Stratford Shake
spearean Festival and one of the things
that caught my eye was his statement that,
if he wanted to make any name for himself
on the stage, he was going to have to lose
his cockney accent. For this reason during
the war years while he served in the Royal
Navy, he spent countless hours studying
speech books trying to lose his undesirable
accent. As a model he used the accents of
the officers under which he served.
Every language seems to have its
accents which are acceptable and those
which are not. On this continent all
someone has to do is to speak with a
southern drawl and mangle a bit of
grammar and he or she is immediately put
down as a hillbilly, not to mention someone
who is going to have to get his linguistic act
together if he is to get any further than the
village buffoon. Closer to home we tend to
make fun of some of the accents which
come out of Newfoundland; we categorize
them as something akin to that of the
hillbillies which were mentioned above.
I was once told by an Englishman that I
did not speak the King’s English. He was, I
realized, referring to my accent which he
put in the same category as that of the
Americans and thereby not to be imitated.
As I was quite young and innocent at the
time, I recall consulting with one of my
English friends who informed me that the
closest I could come to the King’s English
was to talk like an announcer on the B.B.C.
They sounded like a bunch of stuffed shirts
to me and so I resolved to sound anything
but that way.
I have since heard that the C.B.C. has an
announcer whose accent is considered to
be a model for others and so any poor soul
on our national network who is not sure of a
word has someone to consult. Now and
again I hear this expert on the national
news and I must admit that he sounds
Even car thieves have certain standards,
you know.
Nowadays I drive an almost new car, and
like all the good car-owning burglars
around me, I’m neurotic about scratches
and dents and whether or not I locked both
back doors.
It’s stupid, fretting over an overpriced
agglomeration of chrome and plastic on
wheels. I’d like to be more Zen-like, less
materialistic, but there it is. If God has a
sense of humour, he’ll have me snuffed in
a head-on collision on my way home from
having my car turtle-waxed.
Well, if I am an auto-neurotic, at least
I’m part of a trend. There’s a whole new
industry out there, dedicated to people just
like me.
Consider Gregory. He comes from a firm
called Sharper Image. Gregory is tall,
well-built and handsome in a rugged, don’t
mess-with-me kind of way. You want to do
some shopping but you’re afraid to leave
your car in a high-crime area? Take
Gregory along. He’d be glad to sit in your
car all day - and all night too, if you want.
Well, he won’t actually be “glad” to do
it. Truth to tell, Gregory doesn’t give much
of a damn one way or the other. That’s
because Gregory is a mannequin. A
dummy. But an extremely realistic one.
“His strong masculine image” says a
Sharper Image spokesman, “makes Gre
gory the ideal companion for single
women, night nurses, the elderly or the
handicapped.”
Sure — but can he fix flats and will he
spring for half the gas?
pretty correct from a Canadian point of
view.
However, how do some of the other
countries make out in this category. Of
course the French, who tend to be rather
snobbish at times about their language,
consider that Parisian French is the
ultimate. The Swiss, not to be outdone,
claim that the accent spoke in the western
part of their country is every bit as good.
Neither have much in the way of kind
words to say about the French Canadian
accent. Since the ancesters of the latter
came for the most part from Normandy and
Brittany, what we hear in Canada tends to
mirror the accent of that part of France. It
is considered by most educated Frenchmen
to sound like country bumpkins and so they
make fun of it. At any rate the greatest
honour a Frenchman can pay you is to say
that you speak Parisian French.
For Italians the height of correctness is
the Tuscan dialect and modern Italian is
considered to be more or less that. The
reason for that is to be found in the history
of that country; the first three great writers
of what is now known as Italy, Dante,
Petrarch and Boccaqcio, all came from the
city of Florence in the province of Tuscany
Letters
Pornography encourages violence
THE EDITOR,
1 am writing in regards to the article
from “The Concerned Citizen” about
pornography causing violence in last
week’s paper. Also the May 2 issue by the
editor on “A solution to violence.”
I, too, strongly believe pornography goes
hand in hand with violence against women
and children. Women are continually
exploited on TV commercials, TV pro
grams, bill boards, magazines, calendars,
movies, etc. We just have to listen to the
news to know that violence against women
and children is increasing.
Statistics show men who watch porno
graphy depicting rape scenes are desensi
tized to women who are victims of rape,
which is a violent act. Programs have been
started in Toronto and surrounding area
schools to show young people some of the
pornographic material that is out there.
Young women are horrified at the demean
ing and degrading acts against women, but
Over in England, authorities are turning
downright devious in their war against car
thieves. In cities such as Liverpool,
Manchester, Birmingham and Leeds, light-
fingered Louies on the lookout for some
free transportation are frequently coming
across some very sporty autos, completely
unlocked, with the keys in the ignition.
Scarcely believing their luck, they jump
into the car, turn the key and - BWEEP
BWEEP BWEEP!
Suddenly all Hades breaks loose. The
engine cuts off, the windows woosh up and
the door locks snap shut. And all the while
a 120-decible alarm klaxon is ringing the
thief s head senseless. Meanwhile, the
local constabulary has been electronically
alerted and cops are on their way to arrest
the car-napper and escort him to an
institution where he will have no need of
anybody’s car keys for some time.
The U.S.-Russian Cold War may be
over, but the Cops ‘n Robbers Crusade
wages on un-dimmed. When the good
guys come up with something new it only
works as long as it takes the crooks to
figure out how to short-circuit it.
I can see it all now. Some night soon an
alarm bell will flash CAR THEFT IN
PROGRESS on a British police switch
board. The Bobbys fly out of the station,
surround the car, yank open the driver’s
door, grab the thief and sling him to the
sidewalk and find themselves staring down
at the strong, masculine, don’t-mess-with-
me smirk of ...
Gregory, British version, patent pend
ing.
in the central part of the country. Because
of this, standard Italian is considered to be
Tuscan and not the dialect spoken in Rome.
This is quite different from both Spain and
Portugal where the people of the respective
capitals, Madrid and Lisbon, consider that
their manner of speaking and only theirs, is
the correct speech. All other things being
equal, it probably is.
x I should close by telling you a story
which I know to be true. It seems that there
was an American professor attending a
conference in Paris, France; he chanced
upon a professor from the University of
Glasgow. The American professor was
from the deep south and had an accent that
you could cut with the proverbial knife. The •
two attempted to get a conversation going
but found to their dismay that they could
really not understand each other very well.
The situation was saved only when they
discovered that they both spoke a passable
“Parisian French” and the conversation
had to be continued in that language. I can
assure you that there are plenty of other
languages where that could happen.
In the meantime, let me ask you a
question. What do you consider to be a
proper English accent?
a large majority of the boys usually snicker,
laugh or joke about what they have seen.
The males and females are separated when
this material is shown so the women do not
have to be subjected to this verbal abuse.
To me, by this time, if young men react
this way it is already too late. Respect not
only for women but mankind has to begin
Remembering Hall’s opening
THE EDITOR,
Enclosed is cheque for renewal. I was
pleased to read Melda McElroy’s and
Luella McGown’s reminiscences about the
Hall, and its early days.
I recall being at the opening on that hot
day in June 1921. Being squashed in along
with the other 1500 people I did not see
Letter
from the
editor
How the
other half lives
BY KEITH ROULSTON
A number of my colleagues around the
province have recently been seeing how
others live, putting themselves in walkers
or wheel chairs to see just how difficult it is
for the handicapped to get around in this
world made for the use of feet.
Nearly everyone who takes part in this
kind of exercise has their eyes opened and
supports making buildings and streets
more accessible to those with physical
handicaps.
I wish this kind of lesson could be
applied to more than just a few hand-pick
ed leaders in the community and to more
causes than just that of the handicapped.
One of the few aspects of Mao Tse Tung’s
regime in China that I thought was good
was a provision that for a few weeks every
year the bureaucrats and factory workers
had to take time and go work in the rice
fields beside the farmers. Part of the idea
was no doubt that there would be extra
hands around to work at harvest time, but
there was also the benefit of keeping
people in touch with the real world.
Now that we’re in this competitive world
where everyone has to be productive every
moment it would probably be impossible to
do it, but I’d like to see a two-week or a
month-long period every year where our
entire political process shut down, from
politicians to senior civil servants, and
people were sent out to experience a way of
life totally foreign to them. People in nice,
comfortable, cost-of-living-indexed jobs,
could go out and live in public housing for a
couple of weeks. People who think it’s
hardship if the airconditioning breaks
down, could work on a farm, slugging bales
of hay in the July heat. Those who make
decisions about whether the Atlantic
fishery should continue or not could be put
to work on fishing boats and live in a
Newfoundland outport. People could shuck
their fancy office duds to live in a northern
community where natives earn their living
from hunting and trapping. People could
spend their time on an Indian Reserve and
know what life is like for those people who
wanted reform in the constitution enough
to kill Meech Lake.
You can read all you want about others
way of life. You can be swept through on a
sightseeing tour as politicians often do on
those “photo opportunity” sessions; you
can be as sympathetic as you want, but
unless you have actually experienced
something, it’s hard to have a real
understanding of it.
I have a feeling nothing could change the
way this country is governed as quickly as
these reality immersion sessions that
would put political bigwigs out in the real
world. We quickly get wrapped up in our
surroundings, especially in high-intensity
jobs. If you watch a cabinet minister at
work, rushing from this meeting to that
meeting, being briefed on the essential
facts necessary to answer a question in
parliament or talk to an interest group that
wants a meeting, making speeches you’ve
just had time to read over on the plane
before you arrived, it’s easy to see how he
can lose track of the real world. If he was
forced to change his job each year, once
working in a lumber camp, the next .year in
a food bank, the next on the floor of the
stock exchange, like ordinary early people,
it might change a leader’s entire perspec
tive of this country and how it should be
run.
much, but I do remember when the drape
was removed from the beautifully carved
“Roll of Honour”. It is wonderful that the
stately building is still there and put to
such good use, but let’s not forget why it
was built!
LOIS TASSIE
PORT ALBERNI, B.C.