The Citizen, 1990-06-06, Page 5THE CITIZEN, WEDNESDAY, JUNE 6, 1990. PAGE 5.
Arthur gets
his revenge
on drinking driver
Isn’t it funny how accidents often seem
to happen in slow motion? This one
unfolded in front of me like a Hockey Night
in Canada instant replay — except that the
main actor wasn’t a defenceman or a
forward, it was a 1982 Chevy.
I’d been following its tail lights through
the suburbs of Toronto for a few minutes --
nothing sinister, we both just happened to
be going in the same direction -- when
suddenly the Chevy gently ambled over to
the shoulder, off the road and up an
enbankment. The car ran a kind of lazy
buttonhook pattern, nosing to the top of the
embankment then turning and coming
back towards the road. It came to rest
facing backwards, in the direction it had
come from. The whole incident took just a
few seconds and was so un-violent, so
bucolic-looking that I almost drove right by
as if something perfectly natural had
occurred.
But no. There was the slew of tire tracks
through the snow and the remains of a
fledgling spruce dangling from the front
bumper and the moon faces of passengers
staring out the car windshield. No, this was
an accident alright. I stopped, ran to the
The International
Scene
A prescription
from the
witch doctor
BY RAYMOND CANON
When I was a little boy and managed to
save up enough money to go off to the local
“revolver kitchen”, (Swiss slang for
Saturday afternoon movies), I used to be
quite fascinated by the arrival on the scene
of the film’s medicine man. He seemed to
be held in great respect by the natives who
did all sorts of reverent movements to keep
in his good graces. He was always
something of a heavy who eventually got
his come-uppance in the movie and it was
not hard to get the impression that he was
just something of a big joke, a caricature
of someone in darkest Africa who looked
after the needs of the local tribe’s health,
albeit in a very primitive fashion.
Now that I am much older and a little
wiser, I realize from my contacts with that
continent that there are not only a great
many medicine men still in existence but
that they are for the most part held in great
esteem by the locals. The reason for this is
simple; a great many Africans still believe
strongly in spirits and that, whenever they
have a disease or two, the roots are
spiritual in nature. If you want to be cured,
the best route to follow is to get in touch
with someone who has contact with the
spiritual world.
Sometimes these witch doctors or medi
ums are called upon to do things in fields
other than health. It was not long ago that
an example of this surfaced where one of
these more mundane witches was called
upon by a football team to cast a spell on
the opposing team. Yet another witch
advised the Zimbabwean army football
team to jinx the opposing team by
urinating on the latter’s goal posts.
Although it is against the law in the same
country, husbands are sometimes urged to
divorce their wife for being a witch.
Obviously the same men had never
watched North American T.V. where wives
also known as witches are considered to be
Arthur Black
car, yanked open the driver’s door ...
And all but passed out. The car reeked of
booze. The driver was glassy-eyed and
oblivious. A lout in the back seat had a
half-dead case of 24 between his feet. He
looked up at me rheumy-eyed, slurring
“Hey man, help us hide the beer inna
trunk before the cops come, mannnnn!’’
Drinking and driving. It’s practically a
sport in Canada. And a blood sport at that.
The experts estimate that over 50 per cent
of the traffic accidents that occur on
Canadian streets and highways every year
involve booze in one way or another. Which
puts us right up there proportionally with
the USA. The War in Vietnam claimed
58,000 American lives. Booze-related traf
fic accidents knock off that many Ameri
cans every year.
As I say, we have no reason to feel holier
than thou up here in Canada. We still treat
drinking and driving as an Aw-shucks-
boys-will-be-boys kind of offense. Police
men tend to err on the side of generosity, if
not look the other way. Judges, as often as
not, let drunk drivers off with a slap on the
wrist and a caution.
Except in Prince Edward Island. They
don’t fool around with drunk drivers in
Canada’s tiniest province. In the past four
years, almost 3,500 drivers in Prince
Edward Island have been convicted of
driving while impaired, and you know
what?
Every one of them went to jail.
They didn’t get lectures of gory films or
a few hundred hours of community work or
suspended licences. They did time. Behind
bars. They were fingerprinted and photo
graphed and strip-searched just like rapists
lucky; at least the husbands seem to have
everything on their minds but divorce.
However back to Zimbabwe. So preva
lent are the witch doctors in that country
that the national association of such
healers outnumbers the health ministry’s
nurses, health workers and doctors by a
ratio of two to one. Most of these witch
doctors live in villages as do most of the
population, unlike the doctors who tend to
congregate in the large towns or cities.
Small wonder that many people still make
appointments to see the witch doctor; they
are far more accessible!
One area where the witch doctors can
compete with modem medicine is in the
field of psychiatry. In treating a patient for
psychosomatic illnesses they take the time
to discuss each patient’s fears and worries;
a guilty conscience is frequently found to
be the cause of illness and a good
confession helps the patient in his or her
first steps along the road to good health.
The witch doctors would like traditional
doctors to take more seriously the use of
herbal remedies and even the World
Health Organization has expressed the
belief that modern medicine could benefit
from a study of traditional plants used by
The world as viewed
from Mabel’s Grill
Continued from page 4
“Yes,” said Ward, “and if you get
caught at least you won’t have to worry
about keeping a roof over your head for a
few year.”
WEDNESDAY: Ward was chuckling over
the “secret strategy” leaked in Toronto
that suggested David Peterson make the
premiers who are against Meech Lake look
“erratic” and “unpredictable”. “I don’t
know if they accomplished that but they
sure made Peterson look stupid”, he said.
THURSDAY: Julia said she can under
stand how President Gorbachev would like
to get away from his troubles back home by
visiting North America but he must be
pretty brave to leave when there are lots
people who would love to see him never
come back.
Yes, said Tim, if Prime Minister
and bank robbers and murderers.
They got themselves a record.
And some of these drunk drivers were
very important people. Some were tourists.
Others were first offenders. Still others
were ... “well, judge I was out with the
boys and maybe I had one too many but
there was no harm done ...”
Eight hundred dollars fine and four days
in jail was the usual PEI punishment for
the first offence -- and God have mercy on
anyone nailed a second time.
Any mercy would have to be God’-s. It
wouldn’t come from the provincial court
judges. There are only three of them on the
island and they all feel the same about
bozos who booze and get behind the wheel.
“Everyone is treated the same” says
Nancy Orr, PEI lawyer, “ -- young, old,
pregnant women, the rich, tourists - it’s
real simple. If you’re guilty, you’re going
to jail.”
Does it work? Impaired driving charges
have dropped by 31 per cent in PEI since
they started throwing drunk drivers in the
slammer.
I didn’t know about the crackdown in PEI
when the Chevy went off the road in front
of me, but I knew I was sick of reading
about the blood spilled and misery caused
by Canada’s most common crime.
“C’mon, mannn!” The kid in the back
seat was trying to get out of the car, the
beer case in his lap. “Help us hide the beer
inna trunk!”
I pushed him back in the car, not gently,
the beer bottles clanking and skittering all
over the floor.
“Go to hell,” I said. And we waited for
the cops.
1
the witch doctors. One witch doctor who
specializes in herbs has claimed that he
was the wherewithal to cure AIDS,
provided, he pointed out, that it had not yet
struck the patient’s kidneys. If that is true,
he should be the most popular witch doctor
in Africa for a look at the statistics reveals
that it is this continent that has the most
serious problem with regards to this
spreading illness.
In connection with AIDS, it should be
pointed out that last year one of the
governments conducted a workshop with
the witch doctors at which the latter were
persuaded not to use the same razor blade
twice in order to make incisions on
different patients’ skin.
Some of the witch doctors have learned a
bit about modern law, it seems. There has
been an increasing demand that they be
able to patent their secret herbs before
western pharmaceutical companies dis
cover how valuable they are. Even at that it
may be a mite too late. One such doctor
claims that American drug companies send
representatives to Africa armed with
trinkets which they attempt to trade for
exotic herbal remedies employed by the
witch doctors. Enter the witch lawyer!
Mulroney left the country about now he
might find a whole lot of Canadians
blocking the runway so his plane couldn’t
land when he came back.
FRIDAY: Billie says he can’t understand
how the Supreme Court can say it’s legal
for women to sell their bodies but it’s not
legal for them to solicit customers in
public. “What a two-faced law,” he said.
“They can do it but they can’t advertise
it.”
Sort of the same thing as they’ve been
doing for years with cigarettes, Hank said.
“I don’t know about they’re not being
able to advertise,” Tim said. “From what
I’ve seen of them on the streets of Toronto,
they’ll still be advertising. It’ll be just sort
of like watching a television commercial
with the sound turned down.”
Letter
from the
editor
What happened
to respect for age?
BY KEITH ROULSTON
Maybe it’s because I’m feeling older
these days but all this talk about Jean
Chretien beihg unsuitable as leader of the
Liberal Party because he’s “yesterday’s
man” is getting to me.
The theory, put forward by Paul Martin
Jr. (he’s not really much junior to Mr.
Chretien) and Sheila Copps and the others
who find themselves hopeless behind
Chretien, is that because Chretien has
been around for years and was in politics
he is somehow suspect as leadership
material. Whether or not Chretien is the
right person for the job, it’s this business
of being too old or too experienced that
bothers me.
It seems to me an illustration of how
little respect we have for age. In most
societies in history, age has been a
reversed thing, not something to look down
on. Elders were people whose opinions
were sought. They had, after all, lived
through so much that respectful younger
people figured they had some unique
insights the younger generation couldn’t
have.
But somewhere along the way things
changed. Maybe it was because of the
change from getting knowledge through
experience to getting knowledge through
formal training. We have gone through
several successive generations of immense
changes. The information we get in a week
would have been more than people living in
pre-radio and television days would have
gotten in months or years.
Over the years schooling has increased.
Parents who a century ago didn’t got past
fourth of fifth grade saw their children
finish elementary school. The children of
those parents in turn went on to high
school, perhaps not graduating but getting
more schooling than their parents. The
next generation got more schooling again.
Finally young people were routinely finish
ing high school and the children of that
generation went off to colleges and
universities.
Perhaps it’s that we have grown used to
young people having more education than
their parents that has brought us to revere
the young and new, versus the old and
experienced. Certainly the way the world
has been changing, the world an 80-year-
old experienced is greatly different in
many ways from that facing a young person
today.
And yet those who don’t listen to seniors
are missing a lot. The specifics of living
today may be a lot different than the
specifics of living more than half a century
ago but there are many similarities in the
basic way people behave. “Those who
don’t learn from history are doomed to
repeat it” the old expression goes and if we
don’t listen to the elders of our community
and our country then we deserve to make
the mistakes we’ll make from our ignor
ance, and ignorance they might perhaps
have helped us overcome.
Sure we can get a lot of information
about the past by reading in books or
watching films and television but nothing
matches the personal perspective talking to
someone can have. But instead, we tend to
ignore people once they’ve got past a
certain age. Even in their last working
years we often tend to be very condescend
ing. “Old Jones is living in the past,” we’ll
say. “What can he possibly know about
how things work today.” Once people have
quit work we send them off on permanent
vacations until it’s time to put them into a
home.
What people like Mr. Martin and Ms.
Copps had better remember is that
someday soon they’ll have enough experi
ence that they can be called “yesterday’s
people” too. All of us who once were of the
generation that never trusted anyone over
30 are quickly hurtling toward the age
when, because of our age and experience,
nobody will listen to them again.