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Home My WebLink AboutThe Citizen, 1990-02-14, Page 23THE CITIZEN, WEDNESDAY, FEBRUARY 14, 1990. PAGE 23. vQR YOUR WEDDjy^ Writing your own ceremony an innovative idea So you want something a little different in your wedding cere mony? Welcome to the group! During the past few years more and more engaged couples have been searching for the same thing. The typical church wedding of today is likely to include such innovations as vows that were written by the bride and groom, prayers by mem bers of the wedding party, a welcome to the wedding guests from the bride, hymn singing and congregational responses by the wedding guests. What’s behind this trend toward variety and uniqueness in wedding ceremonies? For generations, cou ples seemed content to be with the orderly formality of the old Protes tant Episcopal service. Its Eliza bethan phrases - “to have and to hold” and “thereto I pledge thee my troth” - may have seemed a little strange to modern ears. But few couples took the time to question their meaning or to up date them for the twentieth cen tury. Why the trend away from this traditional ceremony in the last few years? If you’ll think about why you want a different ceremony for your own wedding, maybe you can understand why this trend has developed. First of all, like many couples getting married today, you’re pro bably turned off by the formal and ritualistic approach. The informal and personal flavor means more to you. You want your wedding to be a reflection of the unique personali ties of you and your fiance. Couples want contemporary wedding This means such personal touch es as your own vows, in your own words, spoken to each other in your own unique way. Or, it may mean one of your favourite popular songs or hymns, woven into your wedding at just the right moment. The personal can be pushed so far, of course, that it degenerates into a tasteless invasion of privacy. But if those little personal touches are handled with restraint, they can make your ceremony special to you as well as to your guests. Another reason why many cou ples today are writing their own ceremonies is to put their wedding in tune with the times. They prefer a wedding with an up-to-date, other elements of your ceremony together, you’ll be thinking long and hard about the nature of Christian marriage and the long- range commitment you are making to each other. These mutual under standings make an excellent foun dation on which to build a lasting marriage. So welcome to the growing company of engaged couples who Continued on page 24 Try different approach when buying wedding gift Now that wedding season is upon us and the list of gifts to buy is growing long, you are confronted or challenged with a decision: What will be a special and wonder ful gift that the couple will cherish forever? Those guests who don’t want to give the typical bridal registry selection of assorted place settings, china and crystal, should consider some of the suggestions offered by Ann Lawrence, renown ed designer and purveyor of an tique linens and laces. Most people are comfortable with the familiar and tend to stick to the same gift over and over. It means so much more to the recipient when you select some thing a little different or unusual. “I feel that the quality and type of gift is a real reflection on the giver, so it is important to personally choose something,” says Miss gift accordingly. For the contem porary couple who loves to enter tain, a selection of Majolica lun cheon plates or serving pieces is best. Traditionalists might enjoy a chasmere paisley throw, a bamboo rocker or toile tray made into a small side table. Perhaps they like old fashioned things - items such as linen tablecloths, a pair of conti nental size linen pillow shams with lace trim or a set of six matching Irish linen damask handtowels are a few of Ann Lawrence’s favour ites. A garden settee or a wicker loveseat could capture the romantic and practical side of the outdoor enthusiast. Some unwritten rules that are helpful to remember when giving a gift: Even though many etiquette experts say you have a year to send your gift, Ann Lawrence feels that contemporary sound. It’s okay to strive for a ceremony that’s upbeat and contemporary. But your purpose should be to describe the biblical ideals about marriage in modern, understand able language - not to compromise or change the basic Christian teachings on what marriage and the family are all about. Remem ber, too, that many of your guests will probably be more familiar with the words and phrases from a traditional marriage ceremony. Don’t use concepts and termin ology so modern and far-out that these people will go away without realizing they’ve attended a Chris tian wedding. Finally, there are those couples who want their ceremony to draw their guests into more active par ticipation in the wedding. These couples are likely to arrange wedd ing services that include hymn singing, congregational responses, or the repetition of the Lord’s Prayer by everyone in attendance. In recent years, some couples have even scheduled their wedding as part of a regular worship service of their church. This makes the wedding a time of celebration and participation by the entire company of faith. No matter what your reasons for writing your own ceremony, you’re sure to find it a helpful exercise. One immediate benefit is that it forces you and your fiance to think together about some of the values and goals you will work toward in your marriage. While you’re writ ing your vows and pulling all the FULL COVERAGE Home*Church*Park 80 Plus Proof Pictures in Proof Album ... $425 SAVE 17% with a prepaid package example 18 - 4 x 5 - Bride's Parents 1 - 8 x 10 - Bride's Parents 12 - 4 x 5 - Groom's Parents 1 - 8 x 10 Groom's Parents 8 - 8 x 10 - Bridal Couple 8 - 5 x 7 - Bridal Couple 1 - 11 x 14 - Bridal Couple 2 - 5 x 7 - Grandparents For only $412.89 Or make up your own Equivalent Package And Still Save & Save ... with Walden’s Pre-paid Photography Package ... At Walden's you win two ways: one - you SAVE money; and two - you know what your package will cost. Plus you have it paid for and are able to budget for it better. An additional benefit to going with the Prepaid Package is that any pictures ordered later, within four months of the wedding, will also be regular price less 17%. Go ahead try this new option offered at Walden's. 482-7675 WALDEN PHOTOGRAPHY & FRAMES 13 Rattenbury St. Clinton Good Wedding Photography just doesn t happen, it has to be planned. Lawrence. Create an individual type of gift - perhaps one centered around a particular theme. Some ideas to win their hearts - “Roman tic Weekends,” a set of colored Venetian cordial glasses and de canter; “White Nights,” a basket filled with a white Brussels lace bed cover, sheets and pillowcases; “Tea for Two,” a teapot and tea caddy; “My Favourite Things,” a wicker hamper filled with an as- sortmentof dishes, glasses, linens; and “SweetDreams”, his and hers silk robes and dressing gowns. If you know the couple well, then consider their lifestyle and select a is too long. Three to six months seem to be much more timely as well as appropriate. How much you spend really should depend on you. She strongly believes it is the thought that counts and something from the heart means much more than a careless choice. Avoid giving a gift just for the sake of giving it. If it comes down to that, do not be original but opt for the most boring of traditions, which is giving money. Keep in mind this old saying, “A great love goes here with a little gift,” when giving or receiving gifts. Looking for "that special gift"? Leave it all to Jeanne! Jeanne McDonald loves the work she’s in. She surrounds herself daily with the beautiful things she selects for the store call Token Treasures. Hers is a world of brides and grooms, birth day wishes and tokens of love and affection. Jeanne’s job is to assist customers in choosing that gift which says "I care". Jeanne does this well! When it comes to brides and grooms, Jeanne relies on a bridal registry. For many, the idea of a bridal registry is a mystery and therefore an uncomfortable experience. Jeanne explains that it is really neither of these things; it is a way for buyers to make the wisest choice of a gift for their money and it answers that age old question "What can I buy that will be really enjoyed?" The bride-to-be is encouraged to drop into the store, alone or with her Mom, to consult with Jeanne about her personal tastes and those of her husband-to-be. Within ten or fifteen minutes Jeanne has an idea of the colours the bride plans for her first home and the accessories she enjoys (brass, wicker, silver, copper, etc). Jeanne records these facts and refers to them from time to time as shoppers arrive to choose a special gift for the young couple (or not-so-young couple). Buyers nave the knowledge of choosing gifts of the taste and style they know will please. They are happy they are not buying something the couple has already received. What it amounts to for the shopper is that it is the wisest use of money spent. It is a choice of present which is go ing to say " I care." A few minutes of the bride’s time, plus the gracious assis tance of a manager like Jeanne, and the gift becomes a treasured token of affection. Visit Jeanne today at___ Token Treasures Wingham, Ontario • 357-2993 /