HomeMy WebLinkAboutThe Citizen, 1990-02-14, Page 18PAGE 18. THE CITIZEN, WEDNESDAY, FEBRUARY 14, 1990.
Traditional rules for who pays for what
There aren’t absolute rules on
who pays for what. Traditionally,
the wedding expenses have been
borne primarily by the bride’s
family, with the groom responsible
9. The honeymoon.
10. Optional: Bachelor dinner.
THE BRIDE’S FAMILY
2. Any travelling expenses and
hotel bills they incur.
3. Wedding gift for bride and
groom.
4. Optional: The rehearsal dinner
may wish to meet to discuss the
financial arrangements. It is wise
for each party to make any financial
limits absolutely clear - to prevent
any misunderstandings or hard
feelings after definite plans have
been made.
If the parents of the groom wish
to share the wedding expenses,
they may offer to do so.
for the rings and honeymoon.
While tradition is still an honoured
part of our heritage, financial
obligations must often give way to
everyday realities and compromise.
The following list indicates the
traditional assumption of expenses.
However, the final arbiter of who
pays for what in a wedding should
rest upon those most willing and
able to meet the necessary financial
obligations.
1. The entire cost of the reception:
rental of the hall, if the reception is
not held at home; caterer; food
(including the wedding cake); bev
erages; gratuities for the barten
ders and waiters; decorations;
music; flowers.
2. A wedding gift for the newly
weds.
3. Bride’s wedding attire/trous-
seau.
or other expenses they elect to
assume.
THE GUESTS
1. Any travelling expenses they
incur.
2. Wedding gift for the couple.
THE ATTENDANTS
THE BRIDE
1. Wedding ring for the groom (if
it’s a double ring ceremony).
2. A wedding gift for the groom.
3. Presents for the bridal atten
dants.
4. Personal stationery.
5. Accommodations for her out-of-
town attendants with family,
friends or at a hotel.
THE GROOM
1. The bride’s rings.
2. Wedding gift for the bride.
3. The marriage license.
4. Gifts for the best man and
ushers.
5. Flowers: bride’s bouquet and
going-away corsage; corsages for
mothers; boutonnieres for the men
in the wedding party.
6. Accommodations for out-of-town
ushers or best man.
7. Gloves, ties or ascots for the men
in the wedding party.
8. Fee for the clery.
4. The wedding invitations, an
nouncements and mailing costs.
5. The fee for engagement and
wedding photographs.
6. Ceremony; rental of sanctuary;
fees for organist, soloist or choir,
and sexton (sometimes included in
charge for premises but if not,
these people have set fees); aisle
carpets and/or canopy; and any
other additional costs for decora
tions.
7. Bridesmaids’ bouquets.
8. Gratuities to those directing
traffic and/or parking.
9. Transportation for bridal party
from the bride’s house to the
ceremony and from ceremony to
reception.
10. Bridesmaids’ luncheon.
11. Optional: Rehearsal dinner.
12. Optional: Household furnish
ings from linens, china, silver
flatware and crystal to furniture.
1. Wedding attire.
2. Travelling expenses.
3. Wedding gift for the couple.
At the time the wedding is being
planned, both sets of parents -
along with the engaged couple -
THE GROOM’S FAMILY
1. Clothes for the wedding.
Customs that haven’t
survived the ages
Many customs that originated in
ancient times still have an impact
on today’s weddings although they
aren’t as symbolic as they used to
be. But thankfully, other customs
have entirely disappeared and once
you read these, you’ll understand
why.
Today’s bride usually wants a
special hairdo for her wedding day.
But the Mexican bride of 1760
didn’t fuss with her hair for it was
the custom to shave off her head to
show that she was prepared for the
responsibilities of marriage and
had given up her immature no
tions.
The Bindjoo tribe of Borneo
didn’t kiss to seal the marriage
since they had their own tradition.
The wedded couple got to hold
hands after the groom washed his
hands in the blood of a freshly
killed cock while the bride washed
her hands in the blood of a hen.
The elaborate wedding gowns of
today’s bride are radically different
from what historic brides were
forced to wear. An American bride
in the early 1800’s almost suffocat
ed wearing her dress for she was
wrapped head to toe in a white sack
while she balanced a heavy tray on
her head to keep the heavy fabric of
the shroud from suffocating her.
Her groom must have looked just
as strange entirely enveloped in
napkins with a shawl draped over
his head. Hopefully they were
marrying the right person for they
couldn’t see each other from out of
the shrouds.
A centuries old Persian custom
was to have the bride draped in red
veils come riding to the groom’s
house on a horse he had sent.
While riding, she was to gaze into a
mirror held by a bridesmaid as this
would be the last time she would
see herself as a virgin.
Other customs that have tell by
the wayside deal with preparing to
move to your new home. Like
today, ancient Romans carried the
brides over the threshold. But first,
the door jams were smeared with
fat and wrapped with wool to
banish evil spirits from the new
house.
In Czarist Russia, the bride may
have feared she would have hun
dreds of children for in the proces
sional to their new home was a man
dressed in goatskin who chanted
this special prayer: “May you have
as many children as they are hairs
on my coat.”
Finally, a Polish bride in olden
days had a lot of work to do before
her new home was ready to live in.
She had to walk around the fire
three times, wash her feet and
sprinkle the water on the bed and
furniture, put on a blindfold, fill
her mouth with honey and kick
each door of the house with her
right foot. Then, her guests would
throw rice.teans, and grain at the
doors and chant that the bride
would have an abundance of these
goods if she was true to her religion
and a good wife.
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