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HomeMy WebLinkAboutThe Citizen, 1986-02-12, Page 22PAGE 22. THE CITIZEN, WEDNESDAY, FEBRUARY 12, 1986. Foriete4 16 Pre -marriage courses help couples plan for life together BY REV. WILENAG. BROWN Many couples planning marri- age receive a big surprise when they contact their chosen minister to arrange for their wedding. The Christian Church is so concerned about marriage failure that all ministers are either urged or required to provide some marriage preparation. It depends on the denomination and the particular convictions of the minister, priest or pastor as to what is demanded. Out of concern about availability of courses in the area the Clinton- Seaforth Ministerial Association designed a course to cover the areas which are non -denomina- tional in nature. Two Saturdays last autumn were chosen to do the first course with as many couples as were available at the time. It was a small group but the course proved to be very helpful. On the first Saturday morning we talked about what marriage is, and what we expect from it, with Rev. Cheryl -Ann Stadel- bauer-Sampa as a resource with Sandy and Judy Stuart. In the afternoon we had resource people, Dr. Peter Salsbury and Mrs. Ruth Linton, R.N., dealing with physical aspects. They used films, discus- sion and equipment. On the second Saturday we had a full and interesting morning with George Godbolt C.L.V., M.B.A. talking about financial planning and management and Norman Pickell, Goderich lawyer, talking about legal aspects of marriage. In the afternoon we had the Stuarts and Joe and Willi Laurie to lead a discussion about how marriage actually works. It was interesting that all the persons involved were convinced that communication is the most important factor in making marri- age work. Whether in deciding how to spend income or plan a family or deal with in-laws or day-to-day pressures there was no doubt that the ability to share feelings honestly is the key. So we did some exercises to allow the couples to find out for themselves (in one-to-one discussion) how well they could share their thoughts and feelings. Research has discovered that marriage preparation really does increase the chances of a marriage continuing to work. This is partly because of skills learned but also partly because couples who do this For the Bride •Wedding Books •Guest Books *Quill Pens •Garters •Ring Bearer Pillows •Cake Knives •Bride & Groom Champagne Glasses •Gifts for the attendants WILSON'S Health & Gift Centre Blyth 523-4440 understand that if something goes wrong there is a good chance to fix it if they wish to do so. The Clinton-Seaforth Course is to be repeated this spring. It is done with the co-operation of the Huron Centre for Children and Youth, which participated in the design of the course, and frees Sandy Stuart to give leadership. Rev. Gordon Simmons of the Clinton Anglican Church is arrang- ing the spring event now. Couples interested are asked to contact their local minister, priest or pastor about it. They will receive informa- tion as soon as planning is complete. Couples are urged to take seriously the fact that clergy concern is not only for a fine wedding but a successful and happy marriage when they recom- mend a preparation course. Many other analysts of marriage are agreed that marriage should be harder to get into in terms of understanding more completely what its demands and stresses are. Itis so easy to get caught up in the romantic excitement that it is recommended that the preparation course be as early as possible in the planning. Then, if a couple find they have areas of difficulty to work out there istimetodoit. 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