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Home My WebLink AboutTimes-Advocate, 1980-12-03, Page 17Tfir 4 Women discuss dealing with anger striper chair BY SHELLEY McPHEE Are you a screamer or a smasher? Do you find. yourself short of breath, with sharp pains in your chest or in tears:? At one time or another everyone experiences one or more of these feelings. for `they alt tie into one common, but complex emotion, anger. Gaining a better '.U11- derstancliag of the emotioo„ what sets it off, how to con- trol it and how different p.eo- ple react to it was the topic of discussion when Huron's Women Today met in Clinton on November 27. Susan McPhail and Arlene Timmins, organizers of the Hawthorne Counselling Collective in London met with the 15 women present to talk about the complexities of anger, The women, from Clinton, Goderich, Exeter, Wirigham and the area exchanged thoughts and asked questions about the emotion that Mrs, McPhail described as an important one to Study because, "We have so many wierd and wonderful ways of expressing it." Mrs. McPhail, who in the past has been involved on psychological studies on the emotion said that anger is the one of the most powerful feelings that humans possess and it shapes peoples' ex- periences more than many realize. "How we feel about our anger shows a little about how we feel about ourselves," she noted and added, "If I say I don't get angry then that means I'm probably hiding my emotions." Because of its strength, violent and aggressive im- plications, most people are afraid of anger. Many fear that if the emotion is un- leashed at full force they'll be out of control, do something they'll regret later, offend others, make a fool of themselves and, the greatest concern of all, fear that they Could be angry enough to kilL The SOMetitlieS Uncon- trollable, irrational actions that result from anger are not only psychologically con- trolled. In fact, _when the emotional spark to anger is lit, blood,• leaves the brain and organ*. and concentrates in the limbs and parts of the body where it's power can be discharged through the violent actions of striking someone or something. With the rush of blood from the brain, the emotion can easily take control of the mind and logical,, clear, rational thinking can be made nearly impossible. But according to Mrs. McPhail there are ways of dealing with the emotion before it reaches this destructive level. When she, for instance, feels the fierceness of the emotion building up to a peak she takes three deep breaths. "That settles the anger down and calms me, It makes me stable and grounds me." "Once you're more rational," Mrs. McPhail went on to tell group, "Then you can talk without laying the blame on someone else. "Destructive name- calling is useless. Anger doesn't have to be an ex- plosive thing," Mrs. Tim- mins added. Anger's release does not have to have the power of dynamite. This is what the Hawthorne councillors term "dirty anger", a real explo- sion that's built up for a long time. Instead they stress the use of "clean anger", by let- ting your feelings known and dealing with the problem on a small level, instead of waiting until a number of angers aceurnmulate. Despite anger's negative connotations the emotion does not have to be destruc- tive, When handled properly, anger can be a positive force, Anger demands change, it says that you're caring for yourself and other people. "Anger gives Vs energy to deal with the problem, but if we always put a lid on it, then we become depressed," she warned. By blocking the emotion and turning it inward people may become very hateful and lose their self re,spect. Keeping the feeling inside can also lead to a number of physical problems like migraine headaches, ulcers, chest pain and• even tooth decay. According to Mrs. McPhail and Mrs. Timmins it's best to know the extent and limitations of your anger and if worse comes to worse, set up a punching bag in the basement, beat a mat- tress with a tennis racket or whallop your bathtub with a dish towel - then talk about it. CHAIR LIFT — Nurse Norma Lindenfield South Huron Hospital how the chair lift operates. bath tub. Many visitors toured the hospital Thursday, Linda Roberts show visitors at will set patients down into the Staff photo , DECEMBER 3, 1980 Page lA Serving South Huron, North Middlesex & North Lambton Since 1873 and candy The fi • ••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••• • flo • (woe 00000000 • oo ••o • 0000000 ese•••••••••••••••:••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••• 00000 meecteess•••••0000000000 0 60 Oobote.'• ••••-• ••••.. :•••.. •••••• •••••• •••••• •••••• •••••• Imam— ••••.• Moo. •••••• •••••• •••••• 0.•••• •••••• ••••••,„. 114444•44. ••••A. the word is spreading ristmas •• • SIGNING AUTOGRAPHS — Children's author Monica Hughes signed autographs for her audience after speaking to grade 5 and 6 pupils from Usborne, Stephen and Precious Blood Schools, Leslie MacDonald, a grade six student at Stephen Central, picks up Mrs. Hughes' signature.Staff photo Books have to be made and written by someone; they don't just suddenly appear on library shelves. That was the message that author Monica Hughes had for children in grade six from Usborne and Stephen Cen- tral Schools, and grade five and six students from Precious Blood School. Mrs. Hughes spoke to the school children about her work at the old town hall Friday. Her visit was organized by the Huron County Library, in honour of Canadian Book Festival Week, The children took special interest in her talk because they are reading one of her books, "Gold Fever Trail - A Klondike Adventure" as part of their literature course. Mrs, Hughes lives in Edmon- ton and is the author of eight children's books. She stressed that books do not simply appear, a lot of work goes into a story book. She says that as an author, she had to learn to sit down and write, whether she wanted to or not. "You become a writer, not by wishing, but by doing," she said. Mrs, Hughes has been writing for the past 10 years. Ck A , ,1 , v .k.. rens au or 1 sa ideas are plentiful ...aloe.. i, , AUTHOR AT LIBRARY — Librarians Elizabeth Schroeder and Dorothy Moffat took advan- tage of author Monica Hughes' visit and asked her to autograph some of her books. Mrs. Hubhe's came to Exeter for book festival week and spoke to school children at the town hall. Staff photo She sets aside time each morning to work on her writing. When she isn't writing she works as a weaver and instructor of weaving. She lives in Ed- monton with her husband and four children. She was born in Liverpool, England and was educated in Britain. She lived in Egypt and Rhodesia (now Zim- babwe) before making her home in Canada. She took courses at Ottawa Universi- ty, and studied creative writing and literature at Athabasca College. Mrs. Hughes said she used to worry about running out of ideas for books, but that has never been a problem. She says she is continuously getting ideas in places where she didn't expect to find them, However, she added that some ideas take longer to develop than others. She compared her ideas to plan- ting a radish seed and cactus seed. While the radish seed sprouts and grows in about 10 days, a cactus seed will take forever to grow, but eventually something com- es. The idea for one of her books, "Tomorrow City", came to her after she viewed Edmonton after dark from the top of a tall tower. All the lights of the city remind- ed her of a huge brain. Thus she came up with the idea of having a city run by a com- puter. She says that was a 'radish' idea. She thought of it one night, 'and by the next day she was writing the book. Another idea which took much longer to develop came to her years after see- ing a display on Blackfoot Indians at a museum. Her book "The Ghost Dance Caper" was written about a boy and his Indian grand- father. Another book along a science fiction vein is about a girl isolated on a distant planet. Her book entitled "The Keeper of the Isis Light" was written after-she read a newspaper story about a child who had to be kept isolated because of his suseptability to germs. Mrs. Hughes said that even though some of her books are science fiction, she likes to keep them as realistic and believeable as possible. She says she won't write a series like the Nancy Drew books, because it is un- believeable for one girl to have so many adventures. Her first book "Gold Fever Trail" was written on request from a publisher for a book to be read in schools. It was printed in Edmonton. After that, she had dif- ficUlty finding a publisher in Canada, because the market for children's books is so small. She had four adven- ture books printed in Bri- tain. Then she found a Toronto publisher who was willing to handle her next four books. She said that last year was the first year in which she made enough money to pay income tax, after writing for 10 years. However, she said that the business is im- proving for Canadian writers. Mrs. Hughes said that she really enjoys travelling across Canada speaking to children as she did in Exeter Friday. She said that if she has encouraged just one child to become a writer then the travelling is worthwhile. 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