HomeMy WebLinkAboutThe Citizen, 2007-11-22, Page 17By Pastor Brent Kipfer,Brussels Mennonite FellowshipThere’s a story about a marriedcouple who had a quarrel and endedup giving each other the silent
treatment.
A week into their mute argument,
the man realized that he needed his
wife’s help. In order to catch a flight
to Chicago for a business meeting,
he had to get up at 5 a.m.
Not wanting to be the first to break
the silence, he wrote on a piece of
paper, “Please wake me at 5 a.m.”
The next morning the man woke
up to discover that his wife was
already out of bed, it was 9 a.m., and
his flight had long since departed.
He was about to find his wife and
demand an answer for her failings
when he noticed a piece of paper by
the bed.
He read, “It’s 5 a.m. Wake up.”
We can play games all we want,
but broken relationships are not fun.
The Bible can be summarized as the
story of God pursuing reconciliation
with us - and equipping us to restore
relationships with others. God takes
the lead in a dance of grace.
As we follow, he teaches us the
moves so that we can then practise
with others. There are essentially
four key movements in this
reconciliation dance.
The first involves repentance -
getting honest about the wrongs I
have done, the injuries I have caused
and choosing God’s way for the
future.
The second movement is closely
connected to the first: forgiveness.
Contrary to popular opinion,
forgiveness has nothing to do with
excusing bad behaviour or sweeping
sin under the carpet.
Frederick Buechner explains it
well. He says, “To forgive
somebody is to say one way or
another, ‘You have done something
unspeakable, and by all rights I
should call it quits between us. Both
my pride and my principles demand
no less. However, although I make
no guarantee that I will be able to
forget what you’ve done and though
we may both carry the scars for life,
I refuse to let it stand between us. I
still want you for my friend’.”
These first two movements are
crucial - but even with both
repentance and forgiveness, we are
left with a problem. I may repent.
You may forgive me. But there is
still distance between us. From here,
we have a choice. We can each go
our own way - or we can choose to
continue the dance. To continue, we
need to make space for each other -
space in our hearts, space in our
lives.
Miroslav Volf tells about a man
who left Sarajevo before the 1992
war and joined the Serbian army,
which was bombing his city. His
best friend stayed there. This man’s
apartment was destroyed by a shell. In the course of a phoneconversation with his friend, thesoldier said, “There is no choice.Either us or them.” He meant,
“Either we will inhabit this place or
they will; either we will destroy
them or they will destroy us; no
other option is available.”
This is an extreme example, but
when we are hurt, when trust is
broken, we naturally push the other
away; we guard our space. If we
want to restore relationship, we need
to open our heart to the one who hurt
us. This is what Jesus did on the
cross.
Heinrich Arnold said, “When I
think of Jesus, I see his cross rooted
in the earth, towering to the heights,
with arms stretched wide to embrace
all who come to him.”
Jesus opens his arms for us - and
his Spirit will free us to open our
arms as well.
Repentance, forgiveness, and
making space for the other: These
steps lead us out of the mud of
broken relationship. But there is one
more step that remains - and it may
be the hardest of all. Like the other
three, it can only happen with God’s
touch.
This movement is a healing of
memory - a certain kind of
forgetting. This can only take place
after the first three steps have
happened. It is wrong to forget sin if
there has been no repentance - and
impossible if there is no forgiveness.
On Sept. 26, Mennonite Church
leaders hosted a meeting between
the president of Iran, Mahmoud
Ahmadinejad and other Christian
leaders. It took place in New York
City just two days after his
controversial visit to Columbia
University. They wanted a dialogue
that showed respect for
Ahmadinejad as a person - but still
be honest about their concerns.
In our desire for peace, it would be
premature and wrong to forget that
the Iranian president has denied theholocaust of Jewish people duringthe Second World War and that hehas threatened to destroy the State ofIsrael.
Bert Lobe, from Mennonite
Central Committee (MCC), told
Ahmadinejad, “We need you to
acknowledge publicly the
tremendous suffering of the Jewish
people before and during World War
II.”
Ron Flaming, also from MCC,
said, “We are deeply disturbed when
your comments about the Holocaust
seem to minimize or question this
dark chapter of the 20th century.”
Flaming told the president of Iran
that many believe he intends to
destroy the State of Israel, adding,
“This does not match what some of
us have heard you say privately,
where you stated that there is not a
military solution to the Palestinian-
Israeli conflict.”
He urged the president, “If it is not
your intention to destroy Israel, for
the sake of understanding, for the
sake of peace, for the sake of a
bridge, we urge you to clearly and
publicly say so.”
At this point, they needed to speak
about remembering - not forgetting.
When there is injustice, when
there are lies, when there is a hiding
of sin, the reconciliation dance
requires a speaking of the truth and
an honest memory so that repentance
can happen.
After a person has repented, after
enemies have been forgiven, after we
have made space in our hearts for
them, there is one more movement in
the dance: a godly forgetting - a
choice to place our memory of the
injury into the arms of God. This
moves beyond a human act. How
can we forget what was done to us?
It happens at different levels. At a
practical level, it means that if you
are having a fresh conflict with
someone, you deliberately choose
not to bring up dirt from the past.
It also involves a commitment tono longer give space to the injury inour spirit. We refuse to brood on it.There’s a story about an olderwoman who had a guest that
reminded her about a wrong that
someone had once done to her. The
older woman answered, “I distinctly
remember forgetting that.”
At a deeper level, we can invite
God to step into our memory and
redeem it. God takes the injury and
enfolds it into a larger story of
redemption, of healing, of grace.
The four movements in the dance
of reconciliation belong together:
repentance, forgiveness, making
space for the other, and a healing of
memory.
There is a challenge with this: it
takes at least two to dance this
dance. If the other person refuses,
you can still take some steps. You
can do your own repenting. You can
cultivate a spirit of forgiveness. You
may be able to open your heart a
crack. You can even ask God to
begin to transform your memory.
All of this is good for your spirit.
By the grace of Jesus, you can walk
in freedom even if the other person
refuses to dance.
But our joy is multiplied when theother joins us.Jesus came on a mission ofreconciliation. It is his love thaturges us on.THE CITIZEN, THURSDAY, NOVEMBER 22, 2007. PAGE 17. From the Minister’s StudyPastor discusses the ‘reconciliation dance’
308 Blyth Rd. E. ~ Pastor Les Cook 519-523-4590
B l y t h C o m m u n ity Church of God
C H U R C H O F G O D ,ANDERS
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Sunday, November 25
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Worship Service - 11:10 a.m.
Celebrating our Christian Faith together in worship
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Majestic Women’s Institute held
its first casserole supper and card
party on Nov. 14 with 38 people in
attendance.
Prizes went to high lady, Judy
Hahn, Viola Adams; high man,
Allan Edgar; low lady, Anne Elliot;
low man, James Bowman; lone
hands, Linda Minielly, Leanne
Minielly and John Newans.
Lucky tally prizes went to Eleanor
Newans, Eleanor Stevenson, Kathy
Bridge, Shirley Bowman, Jackie
Mirotta, Jean Bewley, Lloyd Smith,
Bill Craig, Helen Dobson, Joan
Jacobs, Edna Pletch, Elunid
McNair, Bev Craddock and Leona
McDonald.
The next card party is on Jan. 3 in
the Brussels Library.
Majestic WI
has a party
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Pastor: Ernest Dow ~ 519-523-4848
Living Water
Christian Fellowship
at Blyth Public School,
corner of King & Mill
10:30 a.m. ~ Worship & Sunday School
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Youth: Mondays - Senior
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“A Fool and his
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Nov. 25: Luke 12:13ff
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