HomeMy WebLinkAboutThe Citizen, 2007-11-01, Page 5THE CITIZEN, THURSDAY, NOVEMBER 1, 2007. PAGE 5.
Bonnie
Gropp
TThhee sshhoorrtt ooff iitt
Dressing the part
Ihope you’re sitting down as you read this.
My intention is not to cause panic and
anguish in the community, but you need to
know that we are facing a grave and immanent
danger.
There is an insidious, uncontrolled
substance running rampant through society
and nobody’s doing a damned thing about it.
Potent? This stuff can turn a Leopard tank
into a mound of rust.
Dangerous? It can smash through cement
walls and devastate entire towns – even cities.
Harmful to the planet? It reconfigures
entire landscapes, causes acid rain and
is a major contributor to the Greenhouse
Effect.
What’s more, this chemical is everywhere.
In our hospitals, our schools, our homes – even
ourselves. It’s been found in the tumors of
terminal cancer patients and it’s known to be
present in every organ of our bodies.
Can it kill you? In a variety of ways. In solid
form it’s been known to cause severe tissue
damage. As a gas it can leave you with third
degree burns. Inhaling it as a liquid will kill
you stone dead in minutes.
Now for the bad news – we’re all addicted to
it. Can’t live without it. Total withdrawal will
cause headaches, weight loss, major organ
failure and ultimately, certain death.
And the name of this nightmare chemical
that threatens our future and rules our destiny?
Some call it DHMO – dihydrogen
monoxide. It’s also known as hydroxyl acid.
Most folks just call it water.
It’s a strange, love-hate relationship we
have with water. In 1779, the U.S warship
known as Old Ironsides set sail from Boston
carrying 475 officers and men, 7,400
cannonballs, 11,600 pounds of black powder,
7,000 gallons of rum and 48,600 gallons of
fresh water. She returned to Boston seven
months later with no cannon balls, no black
powder, no rum….and 48,000 gallons of
stagnant water.
These days? A total sea change in attitude.
Today, in shopping malls and airport lounges;
at baseball games and bar mitzvahs you see
people practically welded to their personal
water supply. They’re all clutching their
plastic bottles of Dasani and Aquafina. They
look like they’re preparing for a crossing of
the Gobi, but no, they’re merely ‘keeping
hydrated’, a la the latest fad.
When I was a kid the only adults who
actually carried their own water supply around
with them were GIs in war movies and
Humphrey Bogart crawling through the cacti
in Treasure of the Sierra Madre.
Nowadays, everybody packs their own
‘canteen’.
Must have been a bit of a challenge for the
Madison Avenue advertising buzzards to
figure out how to make so many of us pay for
something we can get for free. In the end, they
used the same technique they use to flog that
watery beer that all tastes the same – they sold
us an image.
Aquafina, for instance, shows a range of
snow-capped mountains on the bottle’s label,
implying that we’re purchasing water air-lifted
from pristine and untouched streams high in
the Rockies.
The fine print at the bottom of the label
reads: “bottled at the source PWS.”
Hmmm. PWS. What could that mean? Pure
Wonderful Stream? Paradisiacal Welcoming
Sweetness?
Actually, it stands for Public Water Supply.
Aquafina (which is owned and operated by
Pepsi-Cola by the way) is trying very hard not
to tell you that what you are paying for is tap
water.
Which is not to be confused with
Smartwater. Smartwater is a designer brand of
bottled water that former Friends star Jennifer
Anniston is flogging these days.
You can see the toothy blonde smiling back
at you in dozens of glossy magazine ads. She’s
clutching a plastic bottle of Smartwater,
implying I suppose, that drinking that brand
will make you brighter, – possibly rich,
beautiful and famous to boot.
Victoria Kaplan disagrees. She speaks for a
movement called Quitting the Bottle’, which is
dedicated to getting rid of all those plastic
bottles, 86 per cent of which wind up in
landfill.
“Customers are waking up to the myth of
bottled water, despite celebrity endorsement,”
says Kaplan.
She’s not too keen on the Smartwater label,
either.
“I’ll tell you what smart water is: smart
water is when you walk to the tap and there is
this wonderful product that is life fulfilling
and delivered right into the room we want it
in.”
Oh, yeah – tap water. The stuff we’ve
already paid for. Before companies like Pepsi
bottle it and sell it back to us.
Arthur
Black
Conservatives generous to defeated leader
“It’s for young people,” the grey-haired
gent told me, clearly indicating with
his look that I was not among those
ranks.
Well, sorry to say, I beg to differ. On both
notions. First, I’d argue that with the exception
of suddenly taking up gymnastics, or failing to
exercise common sense, I can be as young as
the next person.
Second, I know I’ve never heard that rule
that the older generation can’t be a character if
they choose to.
This past weekend my husband (the grey-
haired gent) and I had a function to attend.
With its close proximity to Halloween, guests
were encouraged to come in costume. And I,
with barely a breath or a thought as to whether
I should or shouldn’t was on that suggestion as
eagerly as a child to temptation. My
spontaneous reaction was that it sounded like
fun.
I was, therefore, a tad nonplussed by the
reactions of others in the days that followed
the invitation. I began to second guess the
whole thing, as negative after negative came
my way. What was equally surprising was the
vehemence that projected some of them in my
direction.
First, as noted, there was my guy, usually my
partner in all things ridiculous, who
ferociously informed me that this was not the
thing for us to do. Humph! Maybe not for him.
Then there was a relative who with
surprising intensity explained that she HATES
DRESSING UP! As the days passed, people,
from my kids to extended family and to
friends, sent a message that was loud and clear
— they did not share my enthusiasm.
I don’t get it. What’s the big deal? After all,
any time I attend a dressy affair, as far as I’m
concerned I’m in costume. Trust me, I feel
more of an idiot in a fancy dress, than I did in
the attire I sported this weekend.
Yet, all kinds of us make up this world, and
I like to think that while I may not agree, I will
at least eventually try to respect opinions that
differ from my own.
I will also admit that the idea is often more
fun than the fact. Given that a costume has
been donned before and in retrospect, often
didn’t live up to the hype for this wearer, I
should probably be joining the chorus of nay-
sayers.
But I can’t help thinking that life goes on
day after day with a sameness that can use a
little shaking up from time to time. When I
read the words costume party, it was a move
from the norm. Here was a chance to be
someone else, to be a little silly, lighten up and
stop taking everything seriously.
Taking me even further from the usual was
the fact that my thoughts were now stealing
space away from the mundane and typical.
Instead of wondering what to have for supper,
I wondered what character I should be. Instead
of wondering where I’d find the time to get
done all the things that always need doing, I
wondered where to find the perfect costume.
Unfortunately, negativity can be a strong
deterrent. Never one to like standing out in a
crowd, the reality that I was the only one
among my peers who thought this might be a
hoot made me a little nervous. Until that is, a
kindred spirit arrived in the guise of my niece.
Her no-nonsense manner and boundless
energy soon brought a few others on board.
And I’m happy to report that from Charlie
Chaplin to hippies we looked the part, had a
blast and let our decidedly not-grey hair down.
Other Views The most dangerous chemical in the world
Ontario’s Progressive Conservatives are
being uncharacteristically generous to
their defeated leader John Tory and
this indicates they have a lot of problems.
Tory lost an election, and the riding in which
he ran, to Liberal Premier Dalton McGuinty’s
Liberals on Oct.10. The Conservatives, who
have been in power for 50 of the past
64 years and are content with nothing
less than winning, normally have quickly
dropped leaders who lost as if they had bird
flu.
But the Conservative MPPs, although not
their entire party yet, have instead placed their
defeated leader on a type of probation, much
like the trial period employers often give new
employees to test if they want to keep them
permanently.
They required Tory first to renounce
unequivocally his promise to fund private
faith-based schools, which cost him
any chance of winning the election, and he
did.
The MPPs also warned he will have to face
a leadership review in February at which
would-be successors can challenge.
Meanwhile he can search for an MPP willing
to give up a seat for him. The party will assess
his performance leading outside the legis-
lature and any issues remaining from the
election.
This is not quite a reprieve, but is at least a
stay of execution.
The MPPs still worry justifiably Tory’s
promise on schools will come back to haunt
them, but are showing patience with Tory
because he has gained an image as sincere,
likeable, hardworking and a good debater
when it mattered, in the TV debate between
leaders.
These attributes are not in huge abundance
in Ontario politics and the Conservatives are
reluctant to let them go.
The Conservatives have other concerns that
hamper them in booting out Tory quickly,
because unlike in the past, when highly-
qualified Conservatives lined up seeking to
lead the most successful party in Canada, the
current party has no clearly suitable aspirant
waiting in the wings.
The candidates who lost but shone most in
recent leadership races, former provincial
ministers Jim Flaherty and Tony Clement, who
also have strikes against them, now head
important ministries for the federal
Conservatives and are unlikely to give up this
prestige and security to take on the risky role
of Ontario opposition leader.
The Conservatives may have someone in
their caucus who could do the job, because
McGuinty was an unremarkable backbencher
when delegates chose him leader to keep out
other candidates who scared them and now has
won two elections.
But future leaders in the Conservative
caucus are not obvious.
Conservative MPPs also are in no hurry to
see Tory depart because most of them,
including their most listened-to members, Bob
Runciman and Elizabeth Witmer, pushed him
as the man to lead them out of the wilderness
and would be embarrassed to admit so soon
after he has mired them in a swamp.
Tory can count himself lucky because the
Conservatives’ tradition of casting aside
leaders who lost is who is well established.
Mike Harris is cited often these days as a
leader who lost an election but was given a
second chance and won, with the implication
Tory can do the same.
But Harris was thrust into his first election
only four months after the Conservatives
chose him leader and no-one dreamed of
blaming him for that loss, while Tory became
leader three years before an election and had
time to prepare.
Frank Miller lost the Conservatives’
majority in an election and then government
when the Liberals and New Demo-
crats combined, and party members led by
former leadership rival Larry Grossman
then undermined and forced him out as
leader.
Grossman lost the next election in a
landslide, did not need to be told it would be
difficult for him to hold on, and quit as
leader almost before the last votes were
counted.
Eves lost to let in Tory and observed the
code a defeated Conservative leader has to go.
But Tory has some chance to break this
pattern.
Eric
Dowd
FFrroomm
QQuueeeenn’’ss PPaarrkk
“You see things that are and say ‘Why?’But
I dream of things that never were and say
‘Why not?’”
– Writer George Bernard Shaw
(1856-1950)
Final Thought