HomeMy WebLinkAboutThe Citizen, 2007-06-14, Page 14By Pastor John KuperusBlyth Christian ReformedChurchMy wife and I got married on June
22, 1996. Our anniversary is coming
up so it has caused me to reflect on
the 11 years we have been married
and where we are going from here.
I entered into the institution of
marriage because I loved Helen and
I was drawn to her. She had captured
my heart and mind. I loved talking to
her and being with her. I loved her
laugh and she had a very graceful
nature about her. We spent time
talking about God and sharing how
he was real in our lives. Being in her
company was great.
After a few months of dating, I
was sure I wanted to marry her. I
hinted at marriage and she told me
that I did not even know her. They
say love is blind. I was sure I wanted
to marry her.
I proposed in early February and
she said, “Yes.” Then I began having
second thoughts. I never married
before, so that was a whole new
thing. Making a lifetime
commitment scared me. I had some
doubts. I love her today, but will I
love her 10 years from now?
I consulted my friends and they
encouraged me to go forward. I
consulted the Bible and in Genesis
God says, “it is not good for man to
be alone.” If it was not good for
Adam to be alone I reasoned, it is not
good for me to be alone. I went
forward into the covenant of
marriage.
Now 11 years have passed and we
have seven children.
We first lived in Sussex, NJ where
I owned and managed a feed and pet
store. My wife taught Spanish at the
Franklin Elementary School.
I had this calling to go into
ministry. So I asked my wife if we
should do it when the kids are young
or when they are older. She said to
do it when the kids are young. So our
first destination was Jerusalem,
Israel to attend school. What better
place to learn about the Bible than
right where a lot of it happened.
Then we moved to Pasadena, CA
to attend Fuller Theological
Seminary. We were there for two
years and then we moved to Grand
Rapids, MI to attend Calvin
Theological Seminary. Then we
moved to Blyth to work in our first
church.
Since we have been married, we
have changed addresses five times
and changed careers. Has there been
stress and strains in our relationship?
Absolutely. Let me share some of
the things I have learned through my
married life.
When we left NJ, we packed our
belongings into boxes and put them
in storage. I was not about to send
the boxes to Israel for one year. Then
I was not about to send the boxes to
California, because our stay therewould be short too. Our time inMichigan would be short too, so whybring all those boxes there. My wife
asked, but I talked her out of it.
Then we came to Blyth to do an
internship. It was a three-month
commitment and after the three
months, we requested to do my nine-
month internship here too. The Blyth
Christian Reformed Church
graciously accepted.
Following the internship, the
Blyth Christian Reformed Church
extended a call to me to be their
pastor. I took the call and we stayed
in Blyth.
Finally we brought those boxes to
Canada. Little did I know that it had
been painful for my wife to be
without her things. She is a woman
who makes a home and likes to have
her home in order. Without her
boxes, she felt incomplete. I did not
understand my wife and I have
learned something.
Something else I have learned
about my wife is that she is a
perfectionist. Everything needs itsplace. When it comes to the chequebook, she would balance it andbecome paralyzed when it was off
by two cents. She wanted to find it.
For me, I told her to write it off
and forget it. For her, if it is two
cents this month, next month it may
be $2,000. Are we going to write that
off too? She wanted to find that two
cents.
I have come to understand the way
she thinks and I respect her for it.
Sometimes I just do not understand
her and have learned that we are
wired differently.
What I can tell you is that my wife
is my best friend. I really treasure
her. I love her. I want her to flourish
and be all that she is meant to be.
What I have come to understand is
that there are times when we need
help. Sometimes we just are not able
to see things in ourselves. We went
for help. We went to Colorado to a
counsellor by the name of John
Regier. He uses Biblical concepts in
counselling and focuses on locked
hearts. Let me explain a little aboutour hearts.The Bible talks a lot about ourheart. Proverbs 4: 23 says, “Above
all else, guard your heart, for it is the
well spring of life.” Proverbs 27: 19
says, “As water reflects a face, so a
man’s heart reflects a man.” Jesus
says in Matthew 5: 8, “Blessed are
the pure in heart for they will see
God.”
What happens is our hearts open
and close. A way to close a person’s
heart is by criticizing them, blaming
them, belittling them or judging
them. Those activities make us an
unsafe person and to protect
ourselves we close our hearts so we
do not get hurt.
What I discovered in my life was
that I have an intellectually locked
heart. An intellectually locked heart
is when I communicate from my
head and not my heart.
Conversations are businesslike and
can be very cold. A person with an
intellectually locked heart can be
very disciplined and achieve. These
people like facts and not the touchy-
feely stuff. Usually these people
have a low sympathy level.
The goal in counselling was toreconnect my heart and get me tofeel again. I needed to go back to thetime and place where I locked my
heart because of some pain or hurt
and let Jesus heal that. John Regier
led me through a process to
reconnect my heart.
Along with another couple from
our church, my wife and I were
blessed by his counselling. That is
why our church along with other
churches in our community invited
John Regier to come to our
community Nov. 11-17. He will be
coming with four to five counsellors.
His teaching will be on finding
freedom by unlocking areas of our
hearts that have become locked.
God has designed us to live with
an open heart first toward him and as
he fills our hearts, it overflows to
others. This is a wonderful
opportunity to have your heart
checked and maybe you will be
blessed as my wife and I have been
blessed.
I hope you put it on your calendars
because I want others to experience
the freedom I have experienced by
having a heart unlocked.
PAGE 14. THE CITIZEN, THURSDAY, JUNE 14, 2007.From the Minister’s StudyPastor reflects on his 11 years of marriage
By Ruth Laing
Fifty-two members of Huron-
Perth Women’s Missionary Society
met for their spring rally in
Harrington Presbyterian Church.
The theme of the meeting was Water.
Janet Gibson led in the morning
devotions and St. Andrews,
Stratford, had the opening prayer.
Rev. James Knott, Harrington
minister, welcomed everyone and
Margaret Hislop gave a brief history
of Harrington Presbyterian Church
Women.
Storyteller Nancy Vermond told
two stories involving the importance
of water, and announced the
storytelling festival to be held in St.
Marys on Sept. 9. She was thanked
by Lillian Sparling.
Rev. Ann Yee Hibbs, AEC, spoke
and led a discussion on ways to
conserve water.
Lois Home reviewed a few books
at the book display table. Ruth Laing
reported on the Southwestern
Ontario Synodical which was held in
Listowel in April. Harrington ladies
provided a salad lunch.
During the noon-hour lunch
period a bake sale was held with the
proceeds to go to help build
Anishinabe Place of Hope in
308 Blyth Rd. E. ~ Pastor Les Cook 519-523-4590
B l y t h C o m m u n ity Church of God
C
H U R C H O F G O D ,ANDERS
O
N
,
I
N
D
I
A
N
A
Sunday 9:45 a.m.
- Christian Education
for all ages
11:00 a.m. - Worship Service
Mid-week Bible Studies
“The Church
is not a building,
it is people
touching people
Sunday 9:30 a.m. - Sunday School
10:30 a.m. - Sunday Worship Service
7:30 p.m. - Evening Worship Service
Wednesday 6:30 p.m. - Family Night with “Olympians”
7:00 p.m. - Adult & Youth Bible Study
Something for everyone!
Call the church for current Youth events
HURON CHAPEL
EVANGELICAL MISSIONARY CHURCH
Auburn - 519-526-1131
PASTOR DAVE WOOD
& PASTOR DON PLANT JR.
THE ANGLICAN CHURCH OF CANADA
Welcomes you to come
and worship with us
SUNDAY, JUNE 17
The Rev. Tom Wilson, B.A., MDiv. 519-887-9273
Trinity, Blyth
9:30 a.m.
St. John's, Brussels
11:15 a.m.
Corner of Dinsley & Mill Street
Blyth United Church
Office: 519-523-4224
Worship Service,
Sunday School & Nursery ~11:00 a.m.
Sunday, June 17
All Welcome
BRUSSELS - ETHEL PASTORAL CHARGE
UNITED CHURCH OF CANADA
Sandra Cable, Worship Leader
Church Office 519-887-6259 E-mail - bepc@wightman.ca
Celebrating our Christian Faith together in worship
Sunday, June 17
Ethel United Church
Worship Service & Sunday School
9:30 a.m.
Brussels United Church
Worship Service & Sunday School
11:00 a.m.
Please join us for worship
SUNDAYS
Morning Service 10:00am
Evening Service 7:30pm
BLYTH CHRISTIAN
REFORMED CHURCH
Pastor John Kuperus
Hwy. 4, Blyth
MELVILLE
PRESBYTERIAN CHURCH
BRUSSELS
SUNDAY, JUNE 17
Wheelchair accessible ~ Nursery care available
Rev. Cathrine Campbell - 519-887-9831
11:00 am - Sunday Morning Worship
- Sunday School
9:30 am - Sunday Belgrave Service
getlivingwater.org
Pastor: Ernest Dow ~ 519-523-4848
Sunday, June 17: Gen. 18:16ff
Evangelical Missionary Church
Living Water
Christian Fellowship
at Blyth Public School,
corner of King & Mill
10:30 a.m. ~ Worship & Sunday School
Tuesdays 7:30 pm -Wingham Small Group
‘Dear Dad’:
A Father’s
Value
Father’s Day
Harrington Presbyterian Church
site of Huron-Perth WMS rally
Continued on page 17