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HomeMy WebLinkAboutThe Citizen, 2007-06-14, Page 14By Pastor John KuperusBlyth Christian ReformedChurchMy wife and I got married on June 22, 1996. Our anniversary is coming up so it has caused me to reflect on the 11 years we have been married and where we are going from here. I entered into the institution of marriage because I loved Helen and I was drawn to her. She had captured my heart and mind. I loved talking to her and being with her. I loved her laugh and she had a very graceful nature about her. We spent time talking about God and sharing how he was real in our lives. Being in her company was great. After a few months of dating, I was sure I wanted to marry her. I hinted at marriage and she told me that I did not even know her. They say love is blind. I was sure I wanted to marry her. I proposed in early February and she said, “Yes.” Then I began having second thoughts. I never married before, so that was a whole new thing. Making a lifetime commitment scared me. I had some doubts. I love her today, but will I love her 10 years from now? I consulted my friends and they encouraged me to go forward. I consulted the Bible and in Genesis God says, “it is not good for man to be alone.” If it was not good for Adam to be alone I reasoned, it is not good for me to be alone. I went forward into the covenant of marriage. Now 11 years have passed and we have seven children. We first lived in Sussex, NJ where I owned and managed a feed and pet store. My wife taught Spanish at the Franklin Elementary School. I had this calling to go into ministry. So I asked my wife if we should do it when the kids are young or when they are older. She said to do it when the kids are young. So our first destination was Jerusalem, Israel to attend school. What better place to learn about the Bible than right where a lot of it happened. Then we moved to Pasadena, CA to attend Fuller Theological Seminary. We were there for two years and then we moved to Grand Rapids, MI to attend Calvin Theological Seminary. Then we moved to Blyth to work in our first church. Since we have been married, we have changed addresses five times and changed careers. Has there been stress and strains in our relationship? Absolutely. Let me share some of the things I have learned through my married life. When we left NJ, we packed our belongings into boxes and put them in storage. I was not about to send the boxes to Israel for one year. Then I was not about to send the boxes to California, because our stay therewould be short too. Our time inMichigan would be short too, so whybring all those boxes there. My wife asked, but I talked her out of it. Then we came to Blyth to do an internship. It was a three-month commitment and after the three months, we requested to do my nine- month internship here too. The Blyth Christian Reformed Church graciously accepted. Following the internship, the Blyth Christian Reformed Church extended a call to me to be their pastor. I took the call and we stayed in Blyth. Finally we brought those boxes to Canada. Little did I know that it had been painful for my wife to be without her things. She is a woman who makes a home and likes to have her home in order. Without her boxes, she felt incomplete. I did not understand my wife and I have learned something. Something else I have learned about my wife is that she is a perfectionist. Everything needs itsplace. When it comes to the chequebook, she would balance it andbecome paralyzed when it was off by two cents. She wanted to find it. For me, I told her to write it off and forget it. For her, if it is two cents this month, next month it may be $2,000. Are we going to write that off too? She wanted to find that two cents. I have come to understand the way she thinks and I respect her for it. Sometimes I just do not understand her and have learned that we are wired differently. What I can tell you is that my wife is my best friend. I really treasure her. I love her. I want her to flourish and be all that she is meant to be. What I have come to understand is that there are times when we need help. Sometimes we just are not able to see things in ourselves. We went for help. We went to Colorado to a counsellor by the name of John Regier. He uses Biblical concepts in counselling and focuses on locked hearts. Let me explain a little aboutour hearts.The Bible talks a lot about ourheart. Proverbs 4: 23 says, “Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the well spring of life.” Proverbs 27: 19 says, “As water reflects a face, so a man’s heart reflects a man.” Jesus says in Matthew 5: 8, “Blessed are the pure in heart for they will see God.” What happens is our hearts open and close. A way to close a person’s heart is by criticizing them, blaming them, belittling them or judging them. Those activities make us an unsafe person and to protect ourselves we close our hearts so we do not get hurt. What I discovered in my life was that I have an intellectually locked heart. An intellectually locked heart is when I communicate from my head and not my heart. Conversations are businesslike and can be very cold. A person with an intellectually locked heart can be very disciplined and achieve. These people like facts and not the touchy- feely stuff. Usually these people have a low sympathy level. The goal in counselling was toreconnect my heart and get me tofeel again. I needed to go back to thetime and place where I locked my heart because of some pain or hurt and let Jesus heal that. John Regier led me through a process to reconnect my heart. Along with another couple from our church, my wife and I were blessed by his counselling. That is why our church along with other churches in our community invited John Regier to come to our community Nov. 11-17. He will be coming with four to five counsellors. His teaching will be on finding freedom by unlocking areas of our hearts that have become locked. God has designed us to live with an open heart first toward him and as he fills our hearts, it overflows to others. This is a wonderful opportunity to have your heart checked and maybe you will be blessed as my wife and I have been blessed. I hope you put it on your calendars because I want others to experience the freedom I have experienced by having a heart unlocked. PAGE 14. THE CITIZEN, THURSDAY, JUNE 14, 2007.From the Minister’s StudyPastor reflects on his 11 years of marriage By Ruth Laing Fifty-two members of Huron- Perth Women’s Missionary Society met for their spring rally in Harrington Presbyterian Church. The theme of the meeting was Water. Janet Gibson led in the morning devotions and St. Andrews, Stratford, had the opening prayer. Rev. James Knott, Harrington minister, welcomed everyone and Margaret Hislop gave a brief history of Harrington Presbyterian Church Women. Storyteller Nancy Vermond told two stories involving the importance of water, and announced the storytelling festival to be held in St. Marys on Sept. 9. She was thanked by Lillian Sparling. Rev. Ann Yee Hibbs, AEC, spoke and led a discussion on ways to conserve water. Lois Home reviewed a few books at the book display table. Ruth Laing reported on the Southwestern Ontario Synodical which was held in Listowel in April. Harrington ladies provided a salad lunch. During the noon-hour lunch period a bake sale was held with the proceeds to go to help build Anishinabe Place of Hope in 308 Blyth Rd. E. ~ Pastor Les Cook 519-523-4590 B l y t h C o m m u n ity Church of God C H U R C H O F G O D ,ANDERS O N , I N D I A N A Sunday 9:45 a.m. - Christian Education for all ages 11:00 a.m. - Worship Service Mid-week Bible Studies “The Church is not a building, it is people touching people Sunday 9:30 a.m. - Sunday School 10:30 a.m. - Sunday Worship Service 7:30 p.m. - Evening Worship Service Wednesday 6:30 p.m. - Family Night with “Olympians” 7:00 p.m. - Adult & Youth Bible Study Something for everyone! Call the church for current Youth events HURON CHAPEL EVANGELICAL MISSIONARY CHURCH Auburn - 519-526-1131 PASTOR DAVE WOOD & PASTOR DON PLANT JR. THE ANGLICAN CHURCH OF CANADA Welcomes you to come and worship with us SUNDAY, JUNE 17 The Rev. Tom Wilson, B.A., MDiv. 519-887-9273 Trinity, Blyth 9:30 a.m. St. John's, Brussels 11:15 a.m. Corner of Dinsley & Mill Street Blyth United Church Office: 519-523-4224 Worship Service, Sunday School & Nursery ~11:00 a.m. Sunday, June 17 All Welcome BRUSSELS - ETHEL PASTORAL CHARGE UNITED CHURCH OF CANADA Sandra Cable, Worship Leader Church Office 519-887-6259 E-mail - bepc@wightman.ca Celebrating our Christian Faith together in worship Sunday, June 17 Ethel United Church Worship Service & Sunday School 9:30 a.m. Brussels United Church Worship Service & Sunday School 11:00 a.m. Please join us for worship SUNDAYS Morning Service 10:00am Evening Service 7:30pm BLYTH CHRISTIAN REFORMED CHURCH Pastor John Kuperus Hwy. 4, Blyth MELVILLE PRESBYTERIAN CHURCH BRUSSELS SUNDAY, JUNE 17 Wheelchair accessible ~ Nursery care available Rev. Cathrine Campbell - 519-887-9831 11:00 am - Sunday Morning Worship - Sunday School 9:30 am - Sunday Belgrave Service getlivingwater.org Pastor: Ernest Dow ~ 519-523-4848 Sunday, June 17: Gen. 18:16ff Evangelical Missionary Church Living Water Christian Fellowship at Blyth Public School, corner of King & Mill 10:30 a.m. ~ Worship & Sunday School Tuesdays 7:30 pm -Wingham Small Group ‘Dear Dad’: A Father’s Value Father’s Day Harrington Presbyterian Church site of Huron-Perth WMS rally Continued on page 17