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The Citizen, 2007-06-07, Page 5THE CITIZEN, THURSDAY, JUNE 7, 2007. PAGE 5. Bonnie Gropp TThhee sshhoorrtt ooff iitt The leaders of Ontario’s three main political parties have as much colour as Saran wrap and this may be hindering the chances of any of them winning a majority in the Oct. 10 election. This is not only by comparison to Arnold Schwarzenegger, because few politicians anywhere have the flamboyance of the former muscle-builder and movie star who is now California governor. Liberal Premier Dalton McGuinty, Progressive Conservative leader John Tory and New Democrat leader Howard Hampton lack colour even by drab Ontario standards. Polls over the past year have suggested all have problems turning on voters and none is assured of winning the election. They have strengths. McGuinty has provided more legislation to protect residents than any previous premier, but lacks style, characteristics, looks or eccentricities that make people line up to see him. The premier recently spent an hour in a fast- food restaurant and no-one was interested enough to drop by his table and ask what he was doing there. McGuinty does not seem to mind being anonymous. He strolled through the grounds of the legislature with Jennifer Mossop, a TV journalist turned MPP, and reported modestly that people asked “Who is that guy with Jennifer?” McGuinty looks like Anthony Perkins, an actor, but Perkins was more the shy, brooding type women like to mother, rather than someone they batter down doors for. A British magazine looked at McGuinty’s photograph and labeled him a “hottie,” but women are managing to restrain themselves from rushing police cordons to touch him. Opponents give him names like “Dodger Dalton,” after he avoids questions, but not even these have stuck. McGuinty often can explain or defend a policy well in debates, but he has no great gifts of oratory and no memorable phrases. Tory is earnest, less stiff than he was, improving in debate, prone to say “good gracious” rather than wither an opponent and definitely a product of Toronto’s reticent well- to-do, who answer questions as if fearing they will be asked for money. Tory has said he is not worried by his relatively low profile and cannot work harder or go to more places – he is at the scene of any shooting within minutes. The most colourful thing about him is his wife, Barbara, who joked to a reporter her husband naturally supports same-sex marriage because “he’s been married to me for 27 years and he’s been having the same sex every day.” Maybe she should run for premier. Hampton never makes a poor speech, marshalling words and facts clearly on every subject, but like his rivals does not have noteworthy visions or words that inspire. Ontarians probably would not vote for someone who is merely colourful, which is all Schwarzenegger had to offer before he got elected, although he has proved since to have some worthwhile policies. U.S. voters have elected other actors including Ronald Reagan, who proved a captive of big business and the industrial- military establishment; singing cowboys and in one case a TV wrestler as a state governor. Ontario voters probably would demand candidates have more substantial qualities. But a little colour can pull in extra votes. Conservative Mike Harris became premier mainly because of policies, cutting government and taxes, but was helped stay in by being uncompromising and a tough guy, which many admired for a time. New Democrat Bob Rae was helped become premier by having a way with words and doing his utmost to project a boy wonder image. Liberal David Peterson was aided by looking a yuppie and modern, in tune with the times, tie slackened, shirtsleeves half rolled- up, jogging between speeches, and kids and even his dog with yuppie names. William Davis got himself seen as a small town lawyer when small town values mattered, although he lived in virtually a Toronto suburb. John Robarts made himself look a solid, dependable board chairman, which suited the times, though he had never run a business. Leaders are not helped if they look beige. What’s fair? Back in the 60s, when I was a pup, the pinnacle of redneck wit was a curse, sometimes muttered, sometimes screamed, at those of us with long hair. (Yes, Virginia, there was a time when this chrome- dome had not only hair, but lots of it). The curse was: “Goddam hippie! Whyncha getcher hair cut?” I was always happy to hear the expression directed my way. It was a form of social radar, or what I called an ‘umbrellas-in-drinks’ remark. Experience had taught me to avoid people who thought cocktails sporting paper umbrellas were ‘cute’. The same principle applied to dull-eyed lugnuts who thought hair length determines character. Ah, well. Those were unenlightened times and times change. Or maybe not so much. Take John Edward’s hair. John Edwards – and his hair – are contenders for the most powerful political office on the planet – the presidency of the United States. At least they were at the moment of writing these words. By the time you read them Edwards may have been consigned to the trash heap of also-rans. And all because of his hair. Edwards has a fine head of it – wavy, chestnut-brown, full-bodied – and he’s obviously proud of his tresses. Perhaps a little…too proud. Last month it came out that Edwards got two haircuts from a renowned Beverly Hills hair stylist – and paid $800 U.S. for the privilege. Pandemonium! The American press corps went five-alarm, code-red ballistic. Talk show hosts ripped Edwards from ankle to earhole. Editorial writers were shocked and appalled. Op-ed cartoonists had a field day. Columnist Maureen Dowd, in The New York Times, declared huffily that her country was “definitely not ready for a metro-sexual in chief”. Fox News, the rabid rottweiler of modern journalism, wheeled out panels of pundits who twittered about “the new Breck girl” while derisively humming “I Feel Pretty…” Experts confidently predicted that the Edwards presidential campaign had hit the PR equivalent of the iceberg that sank the Titanic. Well, granted, forking over four C-notes for a short-back-and-sides not once, but twice, makes you want to grab Edwards elegantly coiffed head and give it a shake – but is that it? Is the guy cancelled outright because of a pair of pricey haircuts? Here’s the thing: in all the breathless coverage of Edward’s pampered pompadour, the press jackals ignored the fact that of all the Democratic presidential candidates, Edwards is the only one who actually…talks about the issues. Katrina vanden Heuvel, writing in Thenation.com observed “For months, Edwards has been crisscrossing the country, giving policy speeches far more detailed and daring than those of either Hillary Clinton or Barack Obama. Somehow the press has ignored him…The U.S. has 50 million people without health insurance, has falling wages and high job insecurity, and is mired in a losing war in Iraq. You’ve got a serious guy talking about all these issues. And the press wants to talk about his haircut?” We live in trivial times with hair-trigger media ready to tell us all about it. At a recent U.S. Supreme Court hearing, reporters noticed that Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg was slow to rise from the bench after adjournment. In fact, she was still sitting, looking confused and distressed, after everyone else had stood up. Pandemonium! Was the Justice sick? Dying, perhaps? The internet lit up with rumours and guesses. Talk show wranglers began lining up their panels of instant experts. After all, if Justice Ginsburg was crippled or gaga, it would upset the entire balance of the U.S. judicial system! A few days later, a hale and hearty Justice Ginsburg revealed the reason for her…incapacity. She’d kicked off her shoes under the table and couldn’t find one of them. Here in Canada, we are not immune to the bite of the trivia bug. Parliament Hill hacks have had endless fun recently with the news that the prime minister maintained a full-time ‘stylist’ on staff. Maybe there’s an opportunity for a little clippers-across-the-border reciprocity here. Maybe next time Edwards needs a trim he could borrow Prime Minister Harper’s personal barber. Guaranteed to come cheaper than $400 a pop. Although if he winds up with a hair helmet like Harper’s, Edwards might ask for his money back. Arthur Black Ontario’s leaders lack colour To the young and immature it may not seem such a big deal — just a quick way to burn some energy and break the monotony. After all, it really didn’t cause that much harm, right? Last Friday morning, residents of Brussels woke to find that some of the downtown planters had been tipped over. Most of the flowers that had been planted by volunteers just the day before were lost. Municipal employees, rather than getting to their regular duties had to spend valuable time cleaning up the mess. The planters are fairly substantial in size. The vandalism took some effort, likely more than the culprits would be willing to do if asked to put their hand to some manual labour. It’s probable of course that the source of the problem could be a couple of louts from out of town, passing through after a bit of drinking somewhere. It’s possible that it could be older kids from another area wanting to make trouble away from home. But it’s also probable that the mischief was a result of local youths, out too late, with too much time on their hands. If it’s the latter, then it’s assumed someone should have their suspicions as to whom the culprits might be. One would hope that the parents would have an idea their children were out in the wee hours of Friday morning. If they know they were, then one can only hope they get a confession and make their children take responsibility for their actions. At the very least, it wouldn’t hurt to discuss the impropriety of this kind of deed, its cost and the real damage. Not only do actions like this upset a community, but they also do a disservice to youth in general. Many young people would be as outraged by this behaviour as the adults. They love the towns they live in. They contribute to them in a variety of ways, through volunteering or simply by behaving with maturity and common sense. Conversely there are thugs who have no respect for adults, no social conscience and no pride in community. Their kind has existed forever. There have always been the outcasts and rebels, those who shunned authority and lived by their own rules. But, the majority of them, while reckless and foolhardy, still held a level of fear in their heart for their elders and law and order. I knew many people who talked tough, until they had to come home to face their parents about one misdeed or another. It was a given, whether the message had been delivered by police officer, teacher or neighbour, that there would be strong consequences to pay at home for one’s actions. Just ask anyone over 40 what frightened them most about getting caught at something. The answer would almost certainly be having their parents find out. Corporal punishment perhaps took the pendulum too far. But now I fear we’re too permissive. We worry about the rights of the young, and rightly so. But what about the rights of those hurt by their actions? Our small communities are built by people who give of their already limited time and dollars. To see their efforts demolished, the pride they take in their home made a mockery of, makes these crimes far more serious than they may outwardly appear. A $500 reward is being offered to hopefully help catch the culprits. When they do, wouldn’t it be nice if the punishment could fit the crime? A day of planting under the hot sun, in full view of the community sounds about right to me. Other Views Wyncha getcher hair cut? Eric Dowd FFrroomm QQuueeeenn’’ss PPaarrkk Letters Policy The Citizen welcomes letters to the editor. Letters must be signed and should include a daytime telephone number for the purpose of verification only. Letters that are not signed will not be printed. Submissions may be edited for length, clarity and content, using fair comment as our guideline. The Citizen reserves the right to refuse any letter on the basis of unfair bias, prejudice or inaccurate information. As well, letters can only be printed as space allows. Please keep your letters brief and concise.