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The Citizen, 2007-02-15, Page 5THE CITIZEN, THURSDAY, FEBRUARY 15, 2007. PAGE 5. Bonnie Gropp TThhee sshhoorrtt ooff iitt You know gambling is an increasing problem when you can switch on the television almost any time and watch someone playing poker. The card game traditionally played for money in the comparative privacy of homes, hotel rooms and smoky bars is the fastest- growing program on TV with all the respectability that implies. Poker is presented under more than a dozen names such as World Poker Tour, Red Hot Poker, Celebrity Poker Showdown and Poker Superstars, some on several times a week. They now far outnumber the reality-type shows that were on TV constantly a year or two ago in which people had to survive physical tests or pick a spouse and possibly even those ubiquitous tips on home improvement. Poker on TV consists normally of half-a- dozen people playing around a table, with viewers able to see the cards they are dealt and judge whether they made the right plays with them. Commentators try to inject excitement with observations such as “great play,” “that was a good call” and “this is a very competitive, heads-up match.” The TV poker started on sports channels, but has spread to more general channels, and some newspapers list it under Sports in their TV listings, although it requires no more physical effort than turning over a card and perhaps even less than writing a newspaper column, which demands some small dexterity in hitting the right keys. Calling poker a sport elevates it, but it now is on TV more often than hockey and 10 times as much as lacrosse, which sometimes is called Canada’s national sport. Some people are attracted to watching others play cards or there would not be as many programs devoted to it, but it must rank among the more empty of the many TV programs fitting this description. But the most disturbing part of poker-on-TV is it encourages people to gamble. The Responsible Gambling Council has now found more than one-third of Ontario teenagers aged 15 to 17 gamble in various forms for money. The most common form is poker and it is easy to see where they get their impetus – poker has been made respectable to them because it is constantly on TV. Teens absorb information about gambling from sources that include parents, friends and TV. If they see it so often on TV, can it be so wrong? TV has now become a major encouragement to people to gamble and joined its most powerful advocate, the Ontario government. Successive governments of all parties, including the current Liberals under Premier Dalton McGuinty, have left no stone unturned trying to persuade residents to gamble on their lotteries, casinos and slot machines, which they now rely on to help pay for programs. (Sorry — the province does not use the word gambling to describe its operations, but calls them gaming in a feeble attempt to suggest skills determine who wins, not luck.) The government at times has promised less aggressive advertising, because the news reports of people winning millions of dollars, which do not mention the losers, are all that are needed to coax people to gamble. But it still runs ads showing winners having the supreme joys of telling tired, dear, old dad he can retire and caring, self-sacrificing mum they have bought her a cottage. The chance of being able to do this, however is, for the vast majority of gamblers more remote than being hit by lightning. The government when in opposition acknowledged it would be fairer to have smaller prizes to spread around winnings, but still has multi-million-dollar jackpots, because more people buy when jackpots are bigger, and even reminds people the bigger the prizes, the more opportunities for winners. The province hires the biggest names in show business and even stages beauty pageants to attract people to gamble in its casinos. An influential government has been joined by TV and its poker games in promoting gambling. These are powerful forces for residents to resist. A fickle friend One of the very few features I begrudgingly admire about fundamentalist Islam is the capacity to announce life and death fatwas. Imagine having the power to instantly outlaw any earthly annoyance that bugs you. Goodbye, all TV ads for United Furniture Warehouse. So long, elevator music, Argyle socks and Starbucks nomenclature (“Will that be a Tall, a Venti or a Grande?”). And people! If I was made Imam for a day I’d be dishing out personal fatwas like Halloween candy. Adios, Paris Hilton. Aloha, Donald Trump. Sayonara, CBC Radio Promo Girl. Ah, but if I only had one fatwa to dispense, I know who I’d lay it on. The SOB who invented the Corporate Phone Tree. You know Phone Trees? Of course you do. It’s that technological Hell you’re transferred to whenever you dial up a government number. Or The Bay or the hospital or your phone company or…well, pretty much any commercial concern nowadays. It didn’t take merchandising bean counters long to figure out that they could save a bundle by firing their receptionists and replacing them with a tape recording of some honey-voiced automaton enunciating your ‘options’. So what if it makes the ticked off customer even more ticked off? We’re talking bottom line here. “For sales and service, press one; for administration, press two; for accounts receivable…” How about voice-to-voice contact with a living, breathing, human, pal? You got an option button for that? Used to be you could leapfrog the pre- recorded jungle by dialing ‘zero’ and talking to the operator, but many companies have eliminated that escape hatch altogether. Corporate phone systems would perhaps be just bearable if they weren’t so sick-makingly hypocritical. The recorded voice usually launches the spiel by silkily murmuring: “Your call is important to us…” Excuse me? Hold it right there. No. Wrong. What you are demonstrating is how exceedingly UNimportant our calls are to you. If you cared about our calls (we used to call it Customer Service) you would lend a sympathetic ear attached to a knowledgeable human employee who could actually help us with our problems. Instead you give us a metaphorical boot in the arse with a recorded message. Bruce Cran, president of the Consumers Association of Canada, doesn’t think that’s an accident. “Corporate phone systems are actually designed to aggravate you into submission,” he told a Globe and Mail reporter recently. He says that fewer than one in 100 unsatisfied customers will follow up a phone call with a letter of complaint. That may be true, but it doesn’t apply to Pat Dori of Hackensack, N.J. Two years ago, Mister Dori purchased a laptop computer from Dell, Inc. He had some trouble with it and returned it to the company. Dell sent him back a second-hand machine with an inferior warranty. Pat Dori picked up the phone to complain. And was engulfed in the first circle of Corporate Phone Tree Hell. Every time he called, the Dell Robotress would put him on hold – sometimes for half an hour. Each time he re-dialed, he would have to start again from square one. (“Well, you see I have this computer I bought from your company….”) Pat Dori sat with the receiver to his ear in Hackensack, listening to a tape loop reminding him of how important his call was to Dell and getting madder and madder. And then he had an epiphany. He remembered seeing a Dell kiosk at a local mall. The thought that swam into his brain was: If they have kiosks, you can sue them. And he did. He had his lawyer serve the papers to a bewildered sales rep at the local kiosk rather than to Dell headquarters in Texas. Nobody from Dell showed up at the court case to represent the company, so the judge awarded Dori $3,000. That got Dell’s attention because Dori now had the right to seize the assets of the local kiosk. A fleet of corporation lawyers descended on Hackensack to appeal the ruling, but by then the story had hit the papers. Dori was a hero; Dell, Inc. was the Baddie. The company settled with Dori quickly and quietly. Sweet. I can only hope that when the Dell lawyers called Pat Dori to negotiate, he had the wit to answer: “Welcome to Pat Dori’s phone tree. We’re not in right now, but your call is important to us….” Arthur Black Government, TV promote gambling To all of those who felt it just wasn’t right I have only one question — So how do you like it now? As we welcomed a green Christmas and a blessedly mild January, voices on every street corner, in the post office, at the grocery spoke doom and gloom about the weather. “It’s not natural.” “This isn’t a good thing.” “It’s not healthy. We need the cold to get rid of the bugs.” “It’s meant to be winter, we should have snow. We’ll pay for this in the summer.” Let me just say first, I’ve never understood why we’re so ready to believe that a good winter will mean a bad summer, but you never hear anyone say the reverse. Regardless, there’s no question we have winter now. It’s cold and miserable and I for one would have been content to never see its arrival. Now, besieged by winter in its full force, those balmy days in December seem a distant memory. Please tell me what’s good about this other than it could be worse. There are viruses out there even in this sub-zero weather. People have colds, stomach flu, aches and pains just as before. Add to this the lethargy and doldrums that accompany winter for much of the population. Trying to be upbeat in a world of nothing but grey and white isn’t natural. Certainly there are good days. A sunny day with blue sky above a crystalline landscape is a glorious sight. It’s soothingly invigorating. The air is crisp, biting into your nostrils as you inhale, while the solar glow casts a gentle warmth across your face. Unfortunately those days are quite limited. Not only does winter tend to bring meager amounts of sunshine, but the angle from which it shines means its benefits are minimal. And when it’s not shining, it’s snowing, and here in Huron County that can become a terrifying bit of uncertainty. It was one of those nice days recently when my husband, grandson and I set out for a trip to the city. Ever cautious, I checked the weather before we left and heard only promises of more sunshine. And the nice weather did stay with us right up until 5 p.m. when we left for home. However, heading out of the city limits a glance in the distance set off a few alarms. Above the horizon the once blue sky was now a threatening grey. I won’t bore you with the details; you’ve all been there; but suffice it to say that having been through the maelstrom we encountered my panic has reached a new level. Had it not been for the fact my husband seems rooted to where we live the house would have been listed the next day and I would have been checking out real estate in a less volatile vicinity. So, never, never in a million years will anyone ever hear me say we need winter, at least not to the extent of this past week. Once upon a time, I appreciated winter’s icy beauty. I could see it as the perfect companion to my cold-weather activities. It provided entertainment on snowmobile trails and sleigh rides, or downhill on toboggans. Even when its charm first began to diminish I gave it the benefit of the doubt. Just because I wasn’t thrilled with its capricious nature didn’t mean it didn’t have its good points. But time and experience have changed that. I have too many loved ones travelling the roads each and every day. Winter in Huron County will turn on you in an instant, and when it does it’s dangerous. I’ve been caught too often in its many mood swings to feel any loyalty or admiration to this fickle friend. Other Views Your call is important … not Eric Dowd FFrroomm QQuueeeenn’’ss PPaarrkk Letters Policy The Citizen welcomes letters to the editor. Letters must be signed and should include a daytime telephone number for the purpose of verification only. Letters that are not signed will not be printed. Submissions may be edited for length, clarity and content, using fair comment as our guideline. The Citizen reserves the right to refuse any letter on the basis of unfair bias, prejudice or inaccurate information. As well, letters can only be printed as space allows. Please keep your letters brief and concise.