The Brussels Post, 1977-12-07, Page 1616—THE BRUSSELS POST, DECEMBER 7, 1977
Sugar and Spice
by Bill Smiley
Remembrance Day
You may have noticed that I didn't write
a Remembrance Day column this year. It's
not that I have turned against it. It's just
that, in 20-odd years of writing this
column, I think I've said everything I could
about it without producing a bundle of
maudlin cliches that would embarrass me
as much as my readers.
I've written about the silvery wail of
The Last Post on the desolate November air
- that cry from the dead' that would raise a
lump as big as a golf ball in your throat,
tears as big as tea bags in your eyes.
I've written about Old Sweats chortling
as they went' back to Vimy and Mons and
the days when they were young and gay
and scared stiff. I've described middle-
aged vets sucking in their guts in the
parade, hoping they could hold in the pots
until they finighed the march and got back
to the Legion Hall for a coldie.
I've described the little old Silver Star
mothers, wiping away one dry tear as they
awkwardly placed a wreath, not qui •te
knowing whether' to salute or bow or just
shuffle around until someone steered them
away.
Its become too much. I've dried up. It's
a bit lik e being the Poet Laureate of
England, and having to produce a sonnet to
celebrate the b irth of Princess Anne's first
born.
It's like being an editor and groaning
when you're told that you will have to
produce, for the 28th time, an editorial
lauding the virtues of Labor Day.
With any luck, the Legion will die away,
because there will be no such •th ing as a
veteran, all veterans of all wars being
dead, and Reimembrance Day will be
something vaguely recalled as a pagan
holiday back in the 20th century, when
people thought they could solve their
differences by killing each other.
But don't think I ignore Remembrance
Day. No sir. I take it out on my students.
On the day before the Day, I lug to school
an armful of souvenirs, and rub their noses
in them. I think this is much more effective
than writing a column or making a speech
to a group" of veterans.
For one thing, I can lie and liewithoutfear
of contradiciton. Those kids are left with
the clear understanding that had it not
been for Bill Smiley, we'd have lost World
War II and they'd now be subject to the
whim of some Gestapo Gauleiter.
Mind you, my souvenirs are nothing like
the real stuff my uncles brought home from
World War I: Belts with "Got Mit uns,"
gas masks, shell cases.
But on the other hand, they know as
much about World War II as they do about
the Boer War, or the War of the Roses, so
it doesn't take much to impress them.
I bring my flying log book, which shows
clearly the number of bombs I dropped on
the enemy. I don't have to mention that
"the enemy " in most cases consisted of a
plowed field, or a river with a bridge which
I'd missed.
I bring an eight by 10 picture of "y our
hero", dashing, mustachioed, standing
beside his trusty Typhoon. They say: "Was
that your own airplane `D for Dity Dick'?" I
reply casually, "We were like husband and
wife."
I don't have to mention that D. for
Desmond was borrowed for the occasion
and that. I flew any old, clapped out
Typhoon the riggers could put together for
another mission. Nor do I have to elaborate
that Dirty Dick was indeed like a wife - she
yawed violently to the left on takeoff.
Another feature of my souvenirs is a half
dozen blown-up cartoons of prison camp
life. I just sort of drop this in. Then comes
the inevitable question: "Sir, did kou try to
escape?"
I slide into my British accent. "Well,
eckshwully, cheps, the Old Hun took a
veddy dim view of escape attempts, but...
yes," chuckling reminiscently and
nostalgically.
`What happened?"
"Well, nothing much, relly. Tried to nip
off with the Obergruppenfuhrer's
Volkswagon jeep and steal a plane. But
they caught me. Demmit."
You see, I don't have to explain that I
made what must have been the dumbest
escape attempt in WWII, after stealing the
Feldwebel's lunch out of his coat pocket,
and had the boots put to me, severly and
accurately, by several old guys who had
been badly scared recently by Typhoon
pilots, and had no desire to be sent to the
Russian front for letting a prisoner escape.
"And what happened then?"
"Well, I was sent to a special camp for
prisoners whose spirits could not be tamed,
even by the dread Gestapo." I don't have
to tell these young turkeys that there were
10,000 other "untamed spirits" in the
camp, most of whom would have sold their
ancient mother to Kubla Khan for a packet
of fags.
And I wind up with rather vivid
description of the final escape, fighting
my way through Russian and German
hordes as the war drew toward its climax.
And falling into the arms of a Canadian
corporal and trading him a PoW chocolate
bar for a bottle of beer.
You see, Remembrance Day will never
be dead while I'm alive.
Winter buying may be hard on plants
Shop: flockbarts
for
Christmas Gift
of
Clothing
that are
Sure to Please.
Clothing for
BABIES
AND
CHILDREN.
Clothing for
MEN
Clothing for
WOMEN
FOR QUALITY AT REASONABLE
PRICES SHOP
HAC.KBARTS
Mount Forest
Cleaners
Brussels ,087-6904 Butterick
Patterns
Phone 887-9497
& K Shoes
'NJeans
Have Lots Of Suitable
Gifts
for Christmas
Wrangler Jeans,
Cords & Shirts.
Carhartt Jeans,
Cords & Western Shirts.
Snow Boots,
MacDonald Land Slippers
Casual & Dress Shoes For the Family
AND SOMETHING
Cougar T Shirts for active Cats
Kids bring yOur parents Santa will be at Our store Fri. Dec. ':6th
from 6 till 9 with suckers.
shopping trip Mr. Fleming last or select a shop that will
suggests you purchase the plant deliver it.
New!
The Job Experience
Training Program
Purpose: Job Creation For Youth 16-24
Incentive: 50% Wage re-imbursement
(Maximum $1.50 Per Hour)
Duration: May 31, 1978
Applications available until Mar. 31 1978
For Information Contact:
Canada Manpower Centre,
210 Main Street East,
LISTOVVEL
Phone 291-2920
Impulse buying sells many
houseplants during the winter
months, but this impulse may kill
them,. says R. A. Fleming,
Ontario Ministry of Agriculture
and Food horticulturist.
Mr. Fleming says rapid
changes in temperature, freezing,
a long wait at the supermarket, or
even the trip from the store to the
car may chill or kill many types of
tender houseplants.
When buying a plant in the
winter, Mr. Fleming says it i .
wise to choose the weather as
carefully as you choose the plant.
A Mild day with little wind,
sunny, if possible, is the best.
Plants should be thoroughly
wrapped before leaving the store
and should be moved to the car
very quickly. The car should be
heated, and parked as close to the
store as possible.
When the plant is taken
indoors, unwrap it carefully and
allow it to acclimatize in a cool,
- din* lit room for a few hours.
"Then choose its location care-
fully, away from drafts, heat
registers, and frosty windows.''
If you are on a lengthy