HomeMy WebLinkAboutThe Brussels Post, 1977-03-30, Page 6Huron Ostomy
club.: formed
When the Goderich Ostomy
Association held its
organizational meeting on.
February 21, members developed
a basic three-point term of
reference.
The group will work to
rehabilitate the person with an
ostomy so they can return to
normal living, at home and in the
'community, they will work to
keep ostomates up to, date with
modern equipment such .as
featherweight disposables; and
they will try to help ostomates
adjust and attempt to educate,the
ostomate and the general public
so there would be a better
understanding between them.
"We would be working closely
with the Cancer Society or may
become a branch of the society,"
the motion noted. "The society
could provide transportation,
some supplies, plus provide good
contact with the new ostomates
and general Public,"
To achieve these goals the
group suggested four actions they
could follow, Visitations will be
carried out with the patient (with
the doctor's -pvmission) before
patient arrives home. Visitors
would be matched with the
patient according to type of
ostomy, sex and age.
Continued organized meetings
are planned with films, speakers,
doctors, dieticians, and
educational programs.
Time is to be set aside at the
meetings for "sharing ideas and
problems."
The group will also make
available the magazine `Ostomey
Quarterly'.
The next meeting planned by
the group is set for March 28 at
GDCI at 7:30 p.m. There will be a
guest speaker on the subject of
colostomies and a representative
of an equipment supplier.
Evening Unit
discusses death
The Evening Unit of the
Brussels U.C.W. met in the
church with Ada Smith and Alma
Watson in charge of the program.
Alma read a peom , on
Gentleness. Scripture was read,
followed by a hymn. .
Rev. E. Le Drew spoke on
Deaths with references to it.
Discussion followed.
• An invitation was received from
the Blyth U.C.W. to attend their
-Thankoffering meeting on April
3rd.
The United Church ladies are
having a bake sale and tea room
at the library on April 9th at 2:30.
.11— ...W., /1 • •P. 51 ..mrs.^ •
Sugar and Spice
by Bill Smiley
An end to fear
It seems that everybody is trying to
throw a scare into me, these days, And I
must admit it isn't too difficult.
We're going to run out of oil one of these
days, trumpet the headlines. Not to
mention gas, coal and practically everything
else that provides heat.. I have visions of
self, ten years from now, sitting in front of
the fireplace, feeding the last bit of the
grand piano into it, turning to the old lady
and asking, "What now, baby? Go fetch
the dyanide pills."
Various ministers of health tell me
menacingly that if I keep on smoking, I'm
going to die a horrible death; if I don't give
up the drink, I'll lose so many brain cells a
day that there'll be nothing but a pack of
putty behind my eyebrows.
Economists claim that if I don't save
some money for my old age, wind up
eating tinned dog food. Other economists
inform that if I do save some money for my
old age, inflation will erode' it to the point.
where I won't even be able to afford dog
food.
From one of the revenue department's
lackeys comes a stern warning that if I
don't produce within 15 days some
abstruse document which I already sent
them two y ears ago, something mysterious .
and dreadful will happen. They will "make
an adjustment". I wonder which part of me
they will adjust, and how painful it will be.
My nose could use some straightening.
If Quebec separates, according to the
pundits all kinds of ghastly things will
happen: my Bell bill will rise, along with
my blood pressure; my arthritis will soar to
new heights;' I'll have trouble raising a few
billion next time I try to float a bond issue
in the States; my wife will probably leave
me, because I spent the first two years of
my life in Quebec; I'll have to deal in funny
money, with Saint Rene's picture on it; my
roof will catch fire because of nationalized
asbestos; and there won't be any French on
the back of my cereal box. A fate worse
than death.
Unemployment is rising, and I am
assured that nobody is going to hire an old,
lazy, highly-trained guy like me when there
are all th ose young, lazy, highly-trained
people around.
They tell me that when the anti-inflation
controls come off, there's going to be such
an almighty, all -Canadian grab for the
buck that even God is going to wake up,
grumbling, and wondering what's going on
down there. And I'll be left in the lurch,
because teachers, on the whole, will let
themselves be dumped on rather than fight
in the streets and be 'thrown in the paddy
wagon.
Even worse things are threatened.
George Chuvalo, Canadian heavy-weight
champ, having disposed at one sitting, of a
fat turkey called Pretty Boy Feldstein,
might --decide to start a comeback and
demand a rematch with Muhammad Ali (at
the age of 40)
And speaking of turkeys, I have another
fear. Toronto, with one of the worst football
teams in Canada, and an equally inept
hockey team, has now acquirea, a major
league baseball team. It will inevitably be
,"promising," "threatening," and
"scrappy" for the first 10 years. After that,
when it soars from last place in the league
to second-last, it will instantly become the
"pennant-bound Toronto Bluejays." So
much for sports fears.
Advertisements constantly frighten me.
They tell me I have dry skin, hemmorhoids,
falling hair, crumbling teeth, bad breath,
and high armpits. They suggest I am
stupid if I don't rush right out, buy a lottery
ticket, and become an instant millionaire.
And just the other day I read in the paper
that the South African doctor who started
the heart transplant game is prepared to
use baboon hearts, if there are no human
ones available. No thanks, doc. You can
give me the heart of a pig or a chicken.
Either would suit my persdnality. But have
you ever seen a baboon from the rear? Who
wants a great, flaming, orange bum?
Newspapers tell me that the Canadian
farmer is going down the drain. I go out for
a quart of milk and it's gone up a nickel
since yesterday. Some drain.
Everybody is talking about forthcoming
elections. This scares me too. I can't stand
the politicians we have now. Why replace
them with losers?
Well, today .I decided that I've had
enough. I'm sick of being frightened half to
death .
If the human race, at least in the
.Northern Hemisphere, is going to perish
for lack of heating, I'll move south.
I'm going to go on smoking, and will
donate my lungs to a chef who will write a
cookbook specializing in smoked lungs on
toast, with truffles. Maybe I'll get senile
from drink, but it's a lot more fun tha 'n
just getting senile.
If I'm going to die, why worry about my
old age? I'll take a steak now and let the
dog food look after itself.
Let the feds throw me in jail over my
income tax. I'd enjoy eating at somebody
else's expense for a change. And you get
weekend leave, anyway.
If Quebec separates, I'll rip out the
phone, which I'd love to do t, and stop
floating those billion-dollar loans, which I
seldom do anyway.
If I can't get a job, I'll go on
unemployment, insurance, and laugh all the
way to the poolroom, with the rest of the
boys.
Ed's Siding & Roofing
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For your Free estimate
call Wroxetet,335-6341
He an early bird! Then you
*ill enjoy the beatitty Of a.
lovely home all summer
HAYWARD'S
Discourit Variety
Cosmetics Tobacco
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Groceries and Stationery
Weekdays 9-9 Holidays & Sundays 12-6
6--.THE BRUSSELS POST, MARCH 30, 1977
Bluevale
To nurse
in Brandon
Mrs. Joe Walker
Correspondent
Miss Darlene Stamper has
accepted a position at Brandon Ge
neral Hospital. She has spent the
past two weeks with her parents
after nursing at St. John, N.B.
She was accompanied by Mrs.
Robt. Peel and Mrs. Joe
Simmons.
Mr. and Mr.s 8art Weltz of
Walkerton Visited Satutda.y
Saturday evening with Mr. and
Mrs. Joe Walker and family,
There Will be a euchre party at
the 13ItieVale Comniunity Hall on
Thursday evening With Mr. and
Mrs. George Fischer and Mr. and
Mrs. Mang MacFarlane in
charge.