Loading...
The Brussels Post, 1977-02-02, Page 9Ontario NDP leader Stephen Lewis greets Gordon Hill Thursday night. Ih Sugar and Spice by Bill Smiley Me and my car Boy, am. I glad I'm not rich! There is nothing wrong with money in itself, th ough the love of it is reputed to be the root of all evil. It's what money brings in its wake that can make life a nightmare. For the past four days we've been a two-car family, and it's been a real brute. We need two cars about as much as we need two houses, and I still'don't know how I got into this fandango, but I'm in it, and I wish I weren't. There wasn't a thing wrong with our old car, except that it was getting a bit long in the tooth. Or so everybody said. I didn't think a 1967 Dodge, with only 48,000 miles on it, that ran like a bomb, was something to be ashamed of. Dogs are said to age about seven to one, in comparison with humans. Thus, a nine-year-old dog would be like a 63-year- old man. That seems fair enough: missing some teeth, missing some hair, and getting a bii stiff and arthritic. But there are old dogs and old dogs, of both species. I don't know the ratio for cars and humans, but I'd guess it would be about eight to one. So, my 10-year-old car would be about 80 in human terms. To some of you young people, 80 might seem a great age. But to my personal knowledge for some people life begins at 80. And many an old girl in alome for the aged will back me up. they know, from personal experience, that some of the guys, at 80, 82, 84 are among the most dangerous men they've ever met in their lives, socially and sexually. We' ve.all been reading lately about the Male Menopause. At least I have. I think I came through it all right, but you never really know. Only last Sunday aft ernoon I was giving my wife a big blast becatise she didn't want me to join the poker club and go to the Legion Hall and play shuffleboard with the boys after work on Friday. She was a bit taken aback for about one minute. Then she rapped that she didn't care what I did. I could go and stand on my head in a snowbank. I could go out and play poker six nights a week, as long as I didn't take more than a dollar with me, and didn't "expect me to serve lunch to a lot of men who'd leave a dirty mess to clean up and burn holes in the rug." I don't know how I,got away over here beind the barn when. I started out talking about the horrors of being a two-car family. Anyway . People made disparaging remarks about my old Dodge. A mechanic wanted to buy it. Cheap. When I suggested !1,300 as a fair price, he laughed so hard he had a mild heart attack. "Smiley, you've run that old wreck into every tree in Blank County This was a gross canard. That car has hit only one tree. I'll admit that it has hit the same tree - the one at the end of my driveway - three times, once by my wife, once by my daughter, once by my son-in-law, but never by me. That shows you how rumors spread. It did have a wow in the front bumper from the time I hit a light standard. The back bumper was somewhat like a boomerang, because I bombed through two feet of snow in my driveway last winter, skidded across the street, and hit a telephone pole, backwards. But only one -tree. On one side, the chrome was stripped off and the door caved in, when the Old Lady has an argument with the side of the garage. But the other side, until today, looked like a new car, except for the rust, which had eaten a bare 12 inches up into • the fenders. Key words they are "Until today." After today I have m atching doors, both without chrome, both looking as though Paul Bunyan had taken a giievance and a kick at the door, in that order. Inside, the car is like n ew, if you dont mind a bit of foam spilling out of the sea: ts. You can tell it has been a one-owner car. The two inches of cigarette ashes on the floor are all of the same brand. You can understand how sentimental a chap could get about such a car. Like an 80-year-old uncle with a few scars and wrinkels but a lot of zip still in the old bawd. Peoplehavemade love in that car. People have been taken to hospital in that car. Babies have been brought home from hospital on their fifth or sixth day in the world, in that car. I loved that car. But it was too randy for me. It was M ale Menopause No. 2, the one that comes at 80.. SO I bought a new one. Not really n ew. Anybody who buys a new car today is either rich or ripped-off.Jumped all the way up to a '72. But I still have the old one. My wife loves it now, too, after asking me for five years if I expected her to be seen in p ublic in "that. old wreck." So I have two cars. I juggle them in and out of a one-car garage and a one-car driveway. Today I had the new one off to. work. Although I have told her 7000 times that she can't back the car out of the garage, she tried it. I don't know what her , technique is.I think she looks over her left shoulder and twists the wheel to the right. Or vice versa. Anyway, she creamed it right up against the poit of the garage, could neither forward go nor back, and I now have matching dented doors. Sans chrome. At least it wasn't the new five-year-old one. wit is a bad month or driving More collisions occur in ovember, December and ebruary than any other months the year, according to the tario Safety League. Just ecause you have become used to ter driving conditions is no ason for complacency. ,Self- nfidence is a dangerous_-. itude in. which the defensive vet. cannot indulge. Be Febru- ary behind the wheel, says the tario Safety League. ' Ronnenberg Insurance. Agency INCOME TAX PREPARED Farmers -- Businessmen -- Individuals At Reasonable Rates File early to avoid the Rush [24 years Experience] Brussels Office Open Tuesday & Friday Phone 887-6663 Give yourself a break. Take a walk, MtinktOn. Office Open Monday titeu. Saturday Phone 347-2241 ,1 khmotiparrion We're Masters at Our Craft! Four Licenced Body Men to Serve You. COMPLETE COLLISION, FRAME AND REFINISHING SERVICE. CARL'S AUTO BODY * 24 HOUR TOWING * Brussels 8874269' BEEF CATTLEMEN S - Super Ton January 10 -February 4, 1977 Buy 1 - ton.,:get 100 lbsFREE Purina Special Steer 32-40% Purina Special Heifer 32 % 2MA, H.O.Wsito0 &Howson Ltd. FLOUR FEED MILLERS- COMPLETE .FARM' SUPPLIES WINGHAM 357-2700 BLYTI4 5234241 THE BRUSSELS POST, FEBRUARY 2, 1977 —.9 Obituary MRS. LORNE NICHOL Mrs. Margaret Nichol died at . Wmgham Hospital after a lengthy illness on Tuesday, January 25 in her 84th year. The former Margaret Michie, she was the daughter of the late' William and Elizabeth Michie of Morris Township. She was married- to Lorne Nichol, who survives, on October 21, 1914: She is also survived by one son, Ross Nichol of Morris Township, three grandchildren and one great granddaughter and a niece whdm she raised, Mrs. Adah Smith. One brother Ernest Michie also survives. She was prede-. ceased by a daughter Thelma in 1919 and two sisters and two brothers. The late Margaret Nichol rested at the. M.L.Watts Funeral Home where funeral service was conducted on Thursday by Rev. Eric LeDrew. The pallbearers were nephews, Allan and Gordon Nichol, George Michie and Robert' Grasby and neighbours Thomas Miller, and John McArterr Flowerbearers were Hugh Nichol and Douglas Smith. Temporary entombment followed at. Brussels Burial Chapel with burial later in Brussels Cemetery.