Loading...
HomeMy WebLinkAboutThe Brussels Post, 1977-01-26, Page 11Sugar and Spice by Bill Smiley Charting your life Had the 'flu this week and took a couple of days off work. Tliat made 10 days in the last 15. years, on the job. And I rediscovered the reason I will, time and again, totter off to work when. I'm practically on my hands and knees with some ailment. It's because I nearly go out of my skull with boredom when I'm home sick. I'm not saying my wife isn't a delightful conversa tionalist or a charming companion. She is. But when you have the 'flu you want nei ther delight nor charm. You just want to be left alone like an old dog, to live or die as the Lord decides. She won't leave me alone. She brings me a big breakfast to bed when all I really want is a sharp harikari knife. After once spending a year in bed, in a sanatorium, I hate eating in bed. Trying to balance a tray on the knees. Spilling coffee on the sheets, with the inevitable blast from the laundress. Dripping gooey egg down the front of your pyjamas. Then by lunch-time, I'm so bored with bed that I stagier up and dress, dying or not. And she starts again. I should have some lunch to keep my strength up. Have you taken your antio-biotic pills, dear? Maybe you should watch TV for a while to keep your spirits up. Would you like another cup of tea? I don't want another cup of tea. I'm drowning in it already. I don't want any sardines on toast, or cheese bits in the oven, or nice tasy soup. My pills make me dizzy. TV makes me want to throw up. This has got to be the swine flu. Am I really dying or will I just be paralyzed for life. Does God really e'xist? If He does, why is He dumping this on me? Well, all that is bad enough. But during this session, the worst happened. I ran out of reading material. By the end of Day Two I had whipped through three library books, two daily papers twice a day, and half-a-dozen weeklies, a couple of news magazines, and the directions on the cereal box, in English and French. The inevitable occurred. I was forced to read one of those women's magazines that my wife buys occasionally at the supermarket when she sees an interesting recipe. It plunged me into an even deeper, almost suicidal, depression. One of the feature articles told me I must love myself first, if I were going to amount to anything. I plowed through it with growing disgust, considering that at the moment I despised myself, modern -medicine, my wife, and almost anything else I could think of. When I got to a list of things I must stop doing if I were to love myself, and read, "Not having orgasms," I threw up all over the livingroom rug. After settling my stomach with a hot toddy, and finding nothing else around that I hadn't read twice, I picked up the magazine again, in sheer desperation. The other feature article plunged me once again into abysmal gloom. It was called, "Chart Your Way to Success." When I read about the author that she is a professor of educational psychology, I should have stopped right there. I know how much those birds know about real life. They live in a dream world of stuff like "positive reinforcement" and "negative feedback." But I pressed un. After wading through three saccharine endorsements from people whose whole life she had changed, I went on to this: "You too can follow in the footsteps of Lee, Mark and Doris. You can define and attain your own success." It seems that all you have to do is make a chart, divided into three periods, each representing a third of your life, beginning at the age of five. Then you list three successes for each period and opposite each, list why it was a success for you. Out of sheer ennui, I started a chart. In the first period, from five to 15, I could think of only one success. I won one fight with a belligerent urchin named George Cornell, with whom I tangled frequently. It was a success for me because it was the only one I ever did win. In the second period, from 15 to 30 again I could think of only one success: I learned to fly an airplane. But this wasn't such a great success since, because of it, I spent a stretch in a German prison camp. In the third period, from 30 on, I couldnt think of a single success. I became a newspaper editor through sheer accident. All that,got me was 10 years laboring as a galley slave to pay off the mortgage on the paper. Then I became a teacher, which any damfool could become in those days. They were pulling bodies in off the streets because of the baby boom hitting the high schools. I became head of the English Department purely because nobody else was qualified, not on merit, experience or dedication. I became a syndicated columnist by chance. All that gets me is a deadline hanging about my neck like ak big old albatross. By the time I'd finished making out the chart, I realized,not for the first time, that I was an utter failure, and that it ,was going to take a lot more than a chart to change things. It was then that I made my one and only resolution for 1977. And all subsequent years. I will never again, should I be forced to peru.se nothing more exciting than the small print on toothpaste tubes, read another woman's magazine from a supermarket. Immediately I made this resolve, I felt a lot better, and next morning was back at. work. OPP arrest 2 after liquor store break-in investigations. Ten charges were laid under the Highway Traffic Act and ten warnings were issued. Four charges were laid under the Liquor Licence Act. Three charges were laid under the Criminal Code. During the week there were nine motor vehicle collisions which caused an estimated • $11,150.00 in property damage. There were no injuries. LET YOURSELF GO DOWNHILL itn6§: in your heart you know it's right. Wingham Memorial Shop QUALITY SERVICE CRAFTMANSH1P Open Every Weekday , Your Guarantee for Over 35 Years of CEMETERY LETTERING Box 158, WINGHAM JOHN MALLICK 11111111111111 I II I II II II I III 11111 I II 1111 II 11111111 1111111 11111111 11111 OLYMPIA RESTAURANT Brussels Phone 887-6914 Wednesday Special SPAGHETTI $1.29 Friday & Saturday RIB EYE $1.69 STEAK Reg. $2.25 VEAL. CUTLETS Sunday $3.19 Soup tor' jUite .; Coffee or Tea Friday Noon PIGTAILS $1 .90 I nd Sauerkraut 1111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111 THE BRUSSELS POST, JANUARY 26, 1977 11 Describes trip During the week January 10-16, O.P.P. at Wingham detachment investigated twenty- four occurrences. Fourteen charges were laid under the Highway Traffic Act and five warnings were issued. Two charges were laid under the Liquor Licence Act. Three charges were laid under the Criminal Code. A Blyth man, John Glousher, age 36, was charged with carrying concealed ' weapons after Wingham Detachment Officers investigated an occurrence of a shotgun being discharged several times abort 10:30 pan. Saturday night in Blyth, Glousher' was subsequently arrested while walking on 25 County Road with a .22 calibre rifle and 12 gauge shotgun hidden up, his pant legs. Twci men were arrested by Wingham Officers" after a Brussels Liquor Store was entered at 11:00 p.m. Saturday night and a quantity of liquor stolen. Charged with the break-in are Paul Cockwell, age 17 of Listowel and John Jonkman, age 21 of Ethel. • During the week, there were seven Motor Vehicle collisions, which caused an estimated $5,470. in property damage and injuries to one person. On Wednesday, January 12, Frances Hall of Lion's Head WaS injured. At the time of the accident, Mrs. Hall,. whose vehicle, driven by her husband, Was stuck in the snow, Was shovelling snow in the south- bound lane of Highway 4 when she Was struck by a vehicle driven by Alexander Wiedeinan of London. Blowing snow created alniost zero visibility at the time, During the week janu4ty 17-23, Ontario Provincial Police officers at Wingham detachment conducted twenty-seven (Continued from Page 110') not something we'll likely nave the opportunity to do again. Tioman is the 'first place in Malaysia that has been able to measure up to our memories of Kenya and as the boat pulled ,away from the dock, we all felt a twinge of sadness at leaving such a special place. This incidently is the Island where many scenes for the movie "South pacific" were filmed and we can certainly understand why. The final stop in our journey was Malacca - an ancient seaport which has been a crossroads for traders from China, Indonesia, India and Europe for centuries. The architecture and character of the town reflect its Moslem heritage; the town square the Dutch occupancy of 1641, and the Catholic Churches stand as monu- ments to the Portugese and their descendents. From 1521 In 1521, the Portugese built St. Paul's Church and St. Francis Xavier conducted Mass here on Several visits to Malacca. A Portugese sailor of the 16th century wrote, "Malacca is the richest seaport with the greatest number of merchants and abund- ance - of shipping that can be found in the whole world." The Malacca area also has some of the most beautiful Malay homes that we've seen. These spacious wooden structures built on stilts about four 'feet off the ground, with delicately carved shutters and decorative tiles at the entrance way are kept immaculately. After an interesting pedicab tour, and a tasty meal at the local "stalls" along the waterfront we returned to the resthouse - an imposing old building used as ,headquarters by the Japanese ,during the war. On the three hour drive back to K.L. in the morning, we promised =selves a return visit, to browse 'long the narrow streets for ,antiques and to savour the history of a now much quieter but charming town. A few words about life in Kuala Lumpur. . , The bad things - 2" cock- roaches waving their antennae at me out of drains and drawers in spite of endless spraying and cleaning; the incredible traffic problems; mosquitoes and sleep- ng under mosquito nets; rising at 5 a.m. daily to be ready for the school bus and the ceaseless heat. The good things - flowers, trees, birds and butterflies; our cheerful Malay amah and the delicious curry with coconut milk that she makes; the interesting cultures; the inexpensive outdoor eating stalls, where Satay (barbe- cued meat served with a hot spicy peanut sauce) and a fantastic array of Chinese foods are served; and the marvellous travel opportunities. Roads Flood Monsoon season has begun on the East coast. Roads will be flooded and fishermen will pull up their boats and move their homes further inland away from the violent winds. In Kuala Lumpur the daily thunderstorms burst suddenly from the sky, flooding the ground within minutes and overflowing the drainage ditches. In spite of the cupboards and cushions going musty, and mold growing on our shoes virtually overnight; we breathe a sigh of relief to hive a couple of hours respite from ;the heat.