HomeMy WebLinkAboutThe Citizen, 1986-04-09, Page 16PAGE 16. THE CITIZEN, WEDNESDAY, APRIL 9, 1986.
zito
Kids suffer disease
of deadly boredom
BY RUSTY BLADES
Well, the hockey season has
come to an end and I am sorry to
report that the entire novice team,
not to mention many other minor
hockey players, have come down
with that dreaded disease -
BOREDOM. The full medical term
for this disease, as it relates to
hockey, is called "nohockeyno-
rustybladesnofanscheering."
It seems that every spring, after
the hockey season ends, that kids
everywhere start suffering from
this illness. It is a universal disease.
that has many diverse symptoms
and the only known cure is the
return of warm weather and the
start of baseball season.
I contacted an expert on the
subject, Dr. E. Zee Munney, who
enlightened me on the causes and
the many remedial measures that
can be taken to lessen the degree of
suffering. He stated that after a
hectic winter of practices, hockey
games and power skating lessons
that kids, and active parents as
well, become addicted to the game.
They then suffer severe with-
drawal symptoms when they quit
cold turkey at the season's conclu-
sion. Blyth novice team are:
•waking up in the middle of the
night in a cold sweat yelling "He
shoots ... He scores!"
• uneasiness and tension every
Wednesday night at 7 o'clock.
• Putting on all their hockey
equipment every Monday after
school Ind then realizing that there
aren't any more practices and
finally
• Well rested kids with all their
homework completed.
Many people overcome this
hardship by slowly easing out of
hockey instead of quitting sudden-
ly. Josh Yanchus, Christopher
Howson, Jerrod Button, James
and Brian McNichol soften the
blow by playing road hockey.
When their sticks splinter and
break, because of playing on the
asphalt, they know they have had
enough and have successfully
defeated this illness.
The Craig household in Auburn
seems hardest hit by this inconven-
ience every spring. With three
boys playing on three different
teams, the exhaustion builds until
April when the boredom begins:
Jonathan Collins and Ryan Cham-
ney play the part of helpful
neighbours however. They take
their miniature sticks and a sponge
puck over to Peter's house and play
"Hallway Hockey" with Peter and
his brothers. They give _new
meaning to the phrase "turning
the house upside down."
Shawn and Benje Hakkers have
a unique way of combatting these
withdrawal symptoms. They have
discovered a game aptly named
"Artificial Hockey". All you have
to do to play is turn on the T.V. set
every Saturday night and watch the
Leafs. (Ouch)
Another one -of -a -kind solution
has been discovered by Henry "the
Scoring Machine" Bos. Henry
takes out old Rusty Blade columns
and does a complete replay of every
game, and all his sensational
goals, in his mind. Jamie and Mike
Bromley have their V.C.R.'s in
overtime as they replay, time after
time, the tape of the two games
played in the Blyth tournament.
lease out of the hockey scene by
reading over and over again that
masterful piece of prose written by
Jean Yanchus "Salute to Rusty
Blades". I thank you for the kind
words and just remember that the
hockey season starts once again in
only six months. By then everyone
should be ready to battle another
Canadian winter in pursuit of
Canada's national past time.
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Surprises recorded along
the way to finals
BY HUGH NICHOL
The W.O.A.A. intermediate
hockey season is drawing to an end
as the four divisional winners are in
grand championship play.
The Int. 'A' final was no contest
as the defending grand champions
Woodford Royals swept Tara in
four games straight, outscoring
them 46 -17. Woodford, comprised
entirely of players from Owen
Sound, easily won on home ice 13 -
4 , and 12 - 2 and 15 - 9 and 6 - 2 in
Tara.
In Int. 'B' the Wingham Royals
inability to protect third period
leads eliminated them in a six
game series against Teeswater.
Game one in Teeswater was a 6 -
5 win for Wingham. Game two
ended after 14 seconds of overtime
with a 5 - 4 Teeswater win. Game
three, also played in Wingham was
an 11 - 3 blow-out for Teeswater.
Wingham returned the favor by
winning 8 - 3 in Teeswater. The
only home ice victory was a 4 - 3 win
by Teeswater in game five. Game
six in Wingham was a formality, 7 -
4 Teeswater.
A well -rested Kincardine Kings
hockey club captured the 'B'
championship in a four game
sweep. of Teeswater. Scores were
8-7, 8-3, 5-4, and 6-2. Kincardine's
superior size, especially on de-
fense easily nullified the Falcons
small swifter skating forwards.
In Int. 'C' Lions Head, winless
against Durham during regular
schedule play eliminated The 72's
in five games.
Game one ended 5 - 2 for Lions
Head as they scored two empty -net
goals. Game two in Durham ended
Continued on Pg. 17
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