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Brussels Post
WEDNESDAY, MARCH 31, 1976
BRUSSELS
ONTARIO
Serving Brussels and the surrounding community.
Published each Wednesday afternoon at Brussels, Ontario
by McLean Bros. Publishers, Limited.
Evelyn Kennedy - Editor Dave Robb - Advertising
The open road
Member Canadian Community Newspaper Association •and
Ontario Weekly Newspaper Association
*CNA
\---/ Subscriptions (in advance) Canada $6.00 a year. Others
$8.00 a year, Single Copies 15 cents each.
To the editor
Sends jokes
To the Editor: A longtime Brussels Post subscriber sent a
few jokes to readers in a recent letter.
"I see by the paper that your daughter is to marry soon. Do
you think she is prepared for the battle of life?"
"Well" answered the father, "she ought to be. She has been
in four engagements already,"
Visitor: "Does your baby brother talk yet?"
Freddy: "He doesn't have to. He gets everything he wants by
yelling." ,
The farmer was scolding his hired man for carrying a lighted
lantern to call on hiS girl friend. "The very, idea when I was
courtin I never used to carry no lantern I went in the dark," he
said. .
"Yes" said the hired man sadly, "And just look what you
got.
I am well and wish my friends in Brussels and country
thereabouts good health. Keep smiling, spring is on its way, just
around the corner. If I knew which corner I'd gladly go to meet it.
' William J. Grant, Brookhaven Nursing Home
Friends and neighbours
Were you listening to the eleven o'clock news Sunday night
and stayed tuned for Provincial Affairs, on CKNX T.V.?
Well, I never heard a better P.C. pre-election Speech in my
life, delivered by Dennis Trimbell. He was blaming in advance,
the opposition parties, who he expects, as we all do, to bring on a
non confidence motion, thus forcing Ontario into another
election.
We are• still licking our sores from last September. In my
estimation, it seems he asked for forgiveness, for some of the
most childish behaviour that I ever heard of. Already he blames
the opposite side, and the P arliament isn't even in session until
today. How can he outguess the Opposition?
I was quite shaken by his pre-election speech. About an hour
later I went to bed, and soon. I was fast asleep, dreams came, as
they have a habit of doing.
I dreamt I saw Bill smiling about what he had done to
Education. Then. D'Arcy laughed right out loud, on what he did
to the "Assessment Act" and "Regional" Districts, along
comes Frank,, and grinned, when he saw h ospitals collapsing
and floating down the "Nile".
It was just like the Oscar Awards, but no Oscar, only a lot of
angry tax payers, and some poor, older people crying, as well as
disappointed mothers.
I woke with a start and my ulcers gave me quite a doing ever
since. But our education trustees in Huron County don't help
much either when just year ago or so, they were allowed a
100 "70 raise after they were elected a month or two before on the
old salary. Nothing was said about a raise, during the Election
Campaign last December/74. Or am I dreaming again?
Let us hear or read ab out these subjects, before salaries are
doubled again as no• one seems to stop for anything. "Oinly
money", is what people are aiming for. Where is "Conirntrnity
Spirit?"
George Wesenberg,
Brussds
An open`letter I(o
the Electrical Tr 'e I would like , On behalf of . Hydro in WeStern Cintatie,
express the appreciation of Ontario Hydro and the Municipal'
Utilities' staff, for the co-operation 'received front manufaetuters,
distributors, and contractors during the recent ice storm.
While Hydre people were busy repairing damage to their
systems,. contractors were simultaneously repairing customers'
damaged equipment.
As a teStilt of everybody's efforts, the duration of customer
outages, while extreme in many cases, , were kept to a minimum,
We are all sincerely appreciative for the customers'
understanding of our respective problems during: this emergency
Situation.
Contractors worked long Mortis in difficult conditions-,
suppliers kept their operations open at all ilietirSo and
manufacturers tan special prodttetion ruins, all alined at getting
the customer back on the line.
It was a tremendous effett„Thank you. tours- truly,
galribridge,
itggiorrat 'Manager
Western ntgicin s Ontario Hydro
Amen
by Karl Schuessler
I have a thing when it comes to making
speeches. And that thing is speaking without
notes.
I tell myself. No notes in the pulpit or no
manuscript at a podium.
Why, I won't' evenlet me carry an outline
up to the front. I forbid notes in my pocket.
And of course there's no cribbing on shirt
-cuffs or in the palm, of my hand:
I tell myself. The place to have my speech
is in my head. And if it's not there, then 'I'
don't have it.
Now this sort of task mastery can be hard
on me. But I've learned to live it. The trouble
arrives when I want other people to give their
speeches without notes.
. I have to do a lot of convincing in the speech
courses I give. Because most people numb at
my speech-without-notes insisting.
They tell me they'd simply die up there if
they forgot. And don't I realize their mind can
go blank -- actually pralyzes when they stand
up before an audience.
So for all those terrified souls, I drew up a
page in my spee9h work book called "In Case
of Memory Lapse".
Now go ahead. Say they're tricks of' the
trade —sneaky. But if every magician can have
tricks up his sleeve, what's wrong with a
speech maker having a few up there too. A
man doesn't shake a speech out of his sleeve
with nothing$
So let's begin:
"Tonight I'm going to speak on gerbils.
Now gerbils are ..say, can all of you hear me
way back there? •
"Good.
"Tonight I'm speaking on gerbils'. Now a
gerbil is a small animal about the size of an
overgrown Mouse, ah., er ...mmm.
"You've all h eard of gerbils, haven't you?
Anyone in the addience who's ever seen a
gerbil raise, his hand?
"Good. Why, that's at least ten of you. And
how many of you have ever kept one in a cage
for a pet? I see five hands gOing up. Good."
Now, that leadS the to thy next point, my
Main point of the evening. Why keep agerbil
in a cage When you can have its cousin, the
Mouse, run loose in the house
o that's what I said, in the house. You may
not believe it but that's what I said, in the
house. In any kind of a house, bungalow;
ranch style or Georgian." '„
See? In my opening speech I've given a fe*
lessens on memory lapsing without collap;
Sing: Stall for time. Ask' qUeStsions: Involve
the audience. Shift the spotlight from you to
them.
Repeat the last Word. gamble on about it, if
you have to. Or repeat the Whole last
Sentenee. And for a little variety emphasize a
different Word. Raise or' lower your volume as
you repeat the sentence once again,
"Now a gerbil is a happy little fellow.tte
lOve8 to play in all those wood chips' you put
down in his cage. And if you give him a little
wire wheel, he'll cli mb inside and give
himself a merry whirl ...er..uh...a merry
whirl.
Everyone likes a whirl, doesn't he? And
why not a gerbil?"
Another lesson. Ask rhet orical questions.
Not that they're supposed to be answered by
the audience. But if that doesn't get you back
on track again, then ask once, more. Only this
time, wait for a reply. And if you're still riot
tracking, keep on asking. Lead a discussion if
you have to.
"But to get back to the main point. You can
have as much fun watching a mouse run loose
in the house ...er...,ah...That reminds me of a
story about a mouse we had in our house."
Further lesson., Have a story or two in your
sleeve. Everyone loves a story, even if it is
designed to get you back on track again.
"But that's enough of that story. Let's get
back to the point. I want to make it perfectly
clear tonight the difference between a house
mouse and a jiving gerbil. To begin with, well,
you see, er...ah. I know. I'll go to the
blackboard and illustrate for you. And, while
I'm drawing these two little creatures You
make note of all the differences."
LesSon number four. Illustrate with pictures
or drawings. And then let the audience help
you find the differences. One hundred heads
are better than one!
Further lesson. You can always Summarize
everything you've said up to this point.
But above all never look down. Always keep
good eye contact. Keep looking straght at the
audience. They may think your pauses are
Oratorical. And Maybe your audience Will
enjoy a little quiet while you recall where 301
last left off. But through it all, don't panic. No
ashen faces. No figety hands. No shuffling
feet. Stay calm, Act calm; Look calm. Be cairn.
And if all this fails, then m ove into the
conclusion. M ake a quick summary and 0
down,
I know what you're thinking all along. If 1
didn't have this thing about no notes, I
wouldn't have to go through all this.
wouldn't have to teach my pasge of In Case Of
Memory Lapse.
True : True But a speech is Meant to be
Spoken: Not memorized. Not react /
And now that I'Ve told you about my bag of,
tricks, I'M suspect...Whenever ) speak aria
tell a story. Or ask a.thetoricalquestion. Or
repeat last Wadi. or stittmarize. Or ask for
drink of water or Wender if it's toe wart' back
there.
You may think I'm having memory lapses,
But then maybe I'M not, And if I'm a good
speaker, you'll never° be able to tell the
difference,
In case of memory lapse
41;ree.'.