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The Brussels Post, 1974-12-04, Page 5See the pretty Christmas tree; it's fun to decorate . . . it's all decked out for Christmas day; we can hardly wait! NAME AGE ADDRESS PHONE 011111811.▪ , r. Tips to Make Yule Brighter Enter our colouring contest ! ErrabusHED 1172 MUSSELS ONTARIO ost of us feel that the speed intensity of modern life puts ed stresses into all of our s. These stresses seem to ravate the normal problems people have when they live th each other. Quarrels and real difficulties Keen husbands and wives, rents and children and dparents are nothing new. of new, at least in rural s, is that trained fessionals are available when pie in difficult family Lotions feel that they really d to turn to an outsider for p. Traditionally, the old time ily doctor and the much peeled minister of the local rch did family counselling and y did it very well. But these i medical doctors have little to help their patients work family problems that don't mom Ire around an illness or. ase, And many people have ned their connections to rches to the extent that they !know a minister who they rely on for help in working out trznal problem. • those doctors and ministers do counselling have helped sypeople. Some seem to have hack for providing an erstanding ear • and structive suggestions. Very until recent years were ow. "ed to do counsel , People ••▪ ••▪ o didn't know a doctor or lifer who could help them bly suffered in silence and de the best of it". the cities government Ades have stepped into the chi offering family selling but it might come as a rise to some of our readers the services of a qualified ly counsellor are available to of us, free of charge in Huron Perth, Is Hinz is a quietly otent counsellor who works tithe Wingham office of the sitYnfSocial and Community' es. She drives between 500 100 miles every two weeks, leg clients in their homes all !Huron and in parts of Perth. qts.iiinz says that her work is ed with roughly One third of lime spent on marriage sellin g', one third counselling parent families and one counselling _troubled Iles, pelOr s to6P Mrs. a 11i z for fid help through various channels. They can call her themselves at the Ministry of Social and Community Services office in Wingham (357-3370) or they are referred to her by doctors, local health units or lawyers. Mrs. Hinz said she has been getting a number of referrals from lawyers recently who see people with marital problems. There is no charge for_ Mr.s Hinz' services; the Ministry pays her to act as a counsellor to all those who request her services. Mrs. Hinz , a warm woman who lives with her husband and family on a farm near Clifford, says that the biggest part of her job as a counsellor is to help people communicate with' each other. Poor communication, the inability to talk truthfully and listen to each other, she finds is at the root of most marriage and family problems. She also tries to show people that their circumstances can be looked at in different ways. "After, all" she says, "You can say a glass is half empty or that it's half full." Often one partner in a marriage will approach Mrs. Hinz for help. She will see just the husband or wife but likes to see the couple together at least once, and then continue separate, counselling. But people have been able to work out marriage difficulties even if their partner refuses counselling', Mrs. Hinz says. Sometimes they just need someone to talk to: It is difficult, she says, to estimate how many of the people she has counselled in her two and a half years on the job have worked out their difficulties satisfactorily. "It's up to them to decide that and what they see as satisfactory might not be what I see." It is part of Mrs. Hinz' -job to help people work out their own solutions to problems: "I can confront them with what their behavior is doing to others perhaps"; she says, and show them how they can change destructive behavior patterns: But the will to change always has to come from the people involved, the social worker says, and she emphasizes that there are no magic solutions. It all conies back to good communication between people and honest, taring relationships between human beingS, Mrs. Hinz says. There are stresses as iorne ;) tot) but wing ii for ng a bout i-OP too. tee: I oil :ank 200 rour our Jith icy, toe ery :ee, iply ver Soh Dad rel. PLAYING CARDS Brussels senior citizens played cards after their craft show Wednesday. Enjoying their game are Mr. and Mrs. Max Shaw. (Photo by Pat Langlois) young married people. Sometimes she will see whole families together in their home to get an idea of a clients day to day life situation. The social worker, who holds a Master's Degree from the School I of Social Work associated with Sir I Wilfred Laurier ih Waterloo, goes back to university one night a , week for consultations with a I teacher there who is tops in his is field. He is her counsellor and ! sounding board and helps her I work out ways to better approach • the people she works with. Mrs. Hinz has about 30 cases I open right now and says that is about the right number. She sees people for an average of eight to I ten sessions, some at their homes • and in the evening at her office in Wingham by appointment. After ' they have used her counselling • • services people can and do consult her afterwards as often as I they need to: Mrs. Hinz has no waiting list. "I can usually 'see people within a week of when they get in contact with me"; she sdys. "Six months I ADDRESS is WO" long to wait" when people really need counselling, she feel's. If y (Wye got family or marital problems that Ann Landers *Wit • solve and you don't know anyone in your community that you can turn to; get in touch with Lois w Hinz. She's there to help.' traditional marriage roles change and as people face sometimes hostile and upsetting situations in their lives but once a couple can talk to each. other about these things they can help each other over hurdles. Communication is what Mrs. Hinz tries to improve as she talks to a couple or a mother and daughter or a husband and wife and warring in-laws.. Successful marriage counselling does not always mean putting a fractured marriage back together again. Sometimes couples decide, after a great deal of soul searching , that the best thing they can do is to get a divorce. There is probably not more trouble between couples now than there ever was but these days people want help and talk about their problems rather than suffering in silence, Mrs. Hinz feels. Mrs. Hinz says she sees people from all walks of life and of all ages. "They are just average people". She has counselled .1 couples in their fifties as well as 1 1. I I I I/ MO a a nit a nil a a Ili ul a THE; BRUSSELS POST; DECEMBER 4, 1974 NAME AGE 1111 - 1111 _.1111 1111 w 1111 IN ME Here's a happy caroler to sing a Christmas song: color him and then we'll all join in and sing along! PHONE arriage counsellor works in Huron The Christmas card made from a photograph of chil- dren or family group is highly popular as a means of bringing a sense of 0-getherness to relatives and friends when geographical separation makes the real thing impossible. The best time for such pictures, naturally, is when presents are being t pened and the family group is together, sharing and show- ing their joy in Christmas surprises. A good second opportu- nity may be found when the family is gathered at the table for Christmas dinner. Other "stockings ibhutng nc lu h de chimney with care" and children playing, indoors or out, with new gifts. Whatever subject you choose, better' do it today -7- tomorrow may be too late to capture the best "shots" to share with others. A couple months after the wedding, the husband remarked to his wife: "You said you'd learn to cook after we were married." Shrugged his wife: "Oh, you know those campaign promises."