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HomeMy WebLinkAboutThe Brussels Post, 1973-05-09, Page 2Sugar and Spice By Bill Smiley ..„.russels Post BRUSSELS ONTAF110 Wednesday, May 9, 1973 -Serving Brussels and the surrounding community published each Wednesday afternoon at Brussels, Ontario by McLean Bros. Publishers, Limited. Evelyn Kennedy - Editor Tom Haley - Advertising Member Canadian Community Newspaper Association and Ontario Weekly Newspaper Association. Subscriptions (in advance) Canada $4.00 a year, Others $5.00 a year, Single Copies 10 cents each. Second class mail Registration No. 0562. Telephone 887-6641. ,,„„441191 fiul~d — ARt GAreS ESTABLISHED len Everybody a Swimmer? In a community which long has been aware of the advantages of learning to swim the suggestion which .Minister of Agriculture Wm.Stewart made 'in 'St. Marys recently perhaps is unnecessary. "Everybody should be able to swim" he is reported-as saying. In Brussels of course, because of the co-operation of the Lions Club and Legion who make possible lessons at the Seaforth Lions pool, most children have learned to swim. Commenting, on the Minister's statement the St. Marys Journal Argus says this: - "At first glance this appears to be a rather impossible suggestion but in this day and age of easy transportation and plenty of swim facilities plus available instruc- tion, it is not so far "out ,on a limb" as it appears. Indeed,, we. believe the Minister is placing emphasis on a very worthwhile idea. "Is there really any reason why every boy and girl should not be- come a swimmer? We certainly do not say that every youngster shbuld -- reach championship calibre but it is' quite possible that, if legislation could be drawn up with the proper teeth and the use of available fac- ilities made mandatory, every young- ster could least be a capable swimmer. The annual parade of drown- ing deaths in this and other provin- ces could be cut, almost to the point of diSappearance, if everyone, par- ticularly youth, was forced to be- come a qualified swimmer. "Fear of the water could possibly be best overcome by the' fear of a fine for non-swimmers. Just'how this end could be accomplished is something for recreation and govern- ment experts to work out but the idea of "Swim whether you want to or not" has merits which make the matter worthy of pursuit in high' places.' "The city says T overpaid traffic tickets so I have a 'Violation coming to Me," we're p anning to go to England this summer. Last summer we planned to go to the Maritimes, Last winter we planned to go to Barbados. Two summers ago it was a trip across Canada. The plans are great but the performance is nil. I'm not sure whose fault it is that the Smileys never get off the ground. I blame my wife. She hates getting ready for a trip. I sometimes think she de- liberately broke her ankle last summer so she wouldn't have to getready. She, naturally, blames me, because I don't get everything laid on in time. She may have a point. I don't like super organization. I like to just take off and wind up wherever the fates take me, with as little baggage as possible. She likes to know where she's going to lay her head at night, and likes to have "sortie- thing decent" to wear on every occasion that might present itself: That means three suitcases. It also poeS a big problem for 'this summer. .1 just know that when the Queen and Phil hear We're going tO be in the U.K. there'll be an invitatiot• of some sort' waiting for us at the Dorchester or the Savoy or the Dirty Duck. Trouble IS; what sort of affair will she invite us to? If it's a lawn party, that means for my Old lady a long summer dress, big hat, white gloves: • And for me a tough decision = Whether to Wear my white sport shirt or my blue one. Bid what if it's for dinner at the Palace, as it probably Will be? That'S another kettle of fish and chips. It would mean a dinner dress and different Shoes for the boss, I could manage a black tie OVer thy white sport shirt and if it Was extra formal ; I'd pin my Canadian Spain mewl tO my shirt, I can just hear the dinner conversation, a bit fluty and high bred; bUt Sort of 'chiuririlyo Rather 'like the pope trying td draw out the parish priest THE QUEEN. "HOW delithifill of you and yOnk Char ining' Wife to (IOUs the honour of coming to dinner, Have yen been to England before; Mr, uh wiley~" ME'. "Yes,, youe notiotit ; uh ; your Worship; uh, Queen; t fought for your' Old Man in the last war. , Guess you Wete just, a dre'A ow, Ow, yes, see„ Your American gent. is SOW refreShinto An you were one Of:thee& gallant lads from the' detninteng Who. fought for my father, King George the Sixth?" ME. "Just a minute, Queen. That's no American accent. It's Canadian. And they told me' his name was Mackenzie King, not whatever you said." QUEEN. "How quaint. And you were decorated, I see. That must be a medal for outstanding valour pinned to your uh - I say, that is a striking,' uh - shirt?" THE DUKE. "It's a ruddy sport shirt, Elizabeth. They all wear them." ME. "Oh, no Queen. They gave these, out with the rations. All you had to do was be conned into joining up." THE QUEEN. "Conned? Rations? Yes, Of course. Now, we'd like 'you to have a wonderful time • while you're here. It's lovely this time Of year in Scotland. Right up at the top. As far as you can go." ME. "Matter of 'fact, Queen; we thought we'd stick around London a while and get better acquainted. Maybe me and Phil • here could do a couple of pub- crawls, while yoU girls got together and talked abOut your rotten kids and stuff." THE QUEEN. "Ow; NOW, I mean ow, yes. That would have been lovely. But ectually, we must OW to Canadar this sumMer. Frightful bore, but there it is.'' ME. "Yep, you must get sick of having tO, be polite to ordinary people, And it's a brute for heat over there in the stitnniet. • Especially on the prattlee." THE QUEEN. "Quite. And. now, if there'S any little thing my husband and I could de; please dOn't hegitatei". ME. let's see, Yoti4 re the ' Queen of Canada. Right? 'Right, Well; look, There's this school board ; See? Pm a teather, y'know. if you'd just Write them a nasty letter. Why; j've got one Grade 9 class with 38 in it. Just tell them to lay off persecuting me, Oh; yeah, And Would you call our neighbours, the baltympies, and make `ante they're watering our lawn;?" MY WIFE, -'(Silently and under the table, Kickj kick.'Kikdo) Anywa.yi Stickitighatti Palade won't he any probleino Bid What ae We 'going to wear When We duck over id llottherit Itelind to gee Uncle Prank who has 'asked us out in his fishing beatl I think have my wife dress in greed, and wear something in orange. At leagt One of he might survive.