The Brussels Post, 1973-01-17, Page 2EsT461.uplED
1$7,?,
russels Post
BRUSSELS
ONTARIO
WEDNESDAY, JANUARY 17, 1973
Serving Brusiels and the surrounding 'Community
published net: Wednesday afternoon at Brussels, Ontario
by MOLean Bros. Publishers, Limited.
Evelyn Kennedy - Editor „L Tom Haley - Advertising
Member Canadian Community Newspaper , Association and
Ontario Weekly Newspaper Assoc,ation.
Subscriptions advance) Canada $4.00 a year, Others
$5.00 a year, Single Copies 10 cents each.
Second class mail Registration No. 0562.
Telephone 887-6641.
The Canadian Rockies
"Watch it! What did. I tell yen gityk about tall.gatiage?"
We are all immigrants
Canada has accepted numerous
immigrants from the United States
who left because of current con-
ditions there. These include draft
dodgers and deserters from its armed
services.
They have. aroused deep resent-
ment in the U.S., to which some can-
not return under present laws with-
out risking arrest. A segment of
public opinion in Canada likewise
believes we erred in admitting thim.
Some encounter prejudice and un-
friendly attitudes.
North American history however
reveals that U.S. to Canada populat-
ion movements for political reasons
are nothing new.
A very influential element
among, Canada's inhabitants, the
United Empire Loyalists, came here
in one such movement.
Again, in the nineteenth cen-
tury, tensions that culminated in
the American Civil. War caused many•
south to north border crossings,
These included escaping Negro slaves
also draft dodgers who "skedadled"
to avoid service in the Northern
Army.
Even when free to do so, few
of the recent crop of immigrants
evidence much desire to recross the
border. As ,did their predecessors
of the past two centuries they seem
more likely to become permanent Can,
adians.
But no one knows what the future
will, bring. During Hitler's regime
a young man fled to Scandinavia,
taking an assumed name which he
still bears, to evade the Gestapo.
It is that of Willy Brandt; just re
elected Chancellor of the West Ger-
many from which he fled for nine
years of voluntary exile.
Among those Who fled from the
U.S.A. to Canada in the last decade
could possibly be a future. President
br P.rime Minister.
(Contributed in the
Exeter TA)
It was rather a glooiny end to 1972,
with the deaths of scrappy Harry Tru-
man and that fine "Canadian, Mike Pear-
son, and the eternal shootings among the
mad Irish, and the earthquake in
Nicaragua.
So let's get off on the right foot for
the next twelve months with something a
little lighter.
Some columnists are smart enough
to keep a file of funny or unusual things
that happened during the previous year,
'so that they have a ready-made column
Just after New Year. •
The only funny or unusual thing around
our place is my filing system. I just
took a look at it, eighteen inches high
all over my desk, picked up my type-
writer and moved to the dining-room
table. There's nobody here but us crumbs.
whereby I decided to pass along some
things that I' consider amusing, with the
hope that you will too. They're not
original, and are culled from the cen-
turies. •
'Here's Stephen Leacock describing
an encounter with a pirate ship: torhe
two ships were brought side by side. They
were then lashed tightly together with
bag string and binder twine, and a gang,
plank laid between them. In a moment
the pirates swarmed upon our deck,
in their eyes gnashing their teeth and
filing their nails."
And as he relates the ensuing car-
nage! g‘I noticed one gigantic felloW bran
dishing a knotted towel, aridg.riking right
and left among our felloWS; until Captain
Bilge rushed at him and struck him flat
across the mouth with a banana skin."
That's the hunioUr 'Of incongruity.
Here's an example of the humour of
heartlessness, of which a master was'
Harry Graham. Try 'Writing some of
your own.
'The ice upon our pond's so thin
That poor Mamma has fallen in
We cannot reach her frOm the shore
Until the surface freezes more.
Ah me, my heart grows Weary Wait-
Ling
BetideS, I Want to have some skating.
Another of his was:
in the drinking-well
Which the plumber built her
Atilt Elita fell;
We must buy a filter,
Here's a touch. of the ironic. And
I'd like to ask riiy friend Dr. Hadicstetter
to pleaSe note..
'The denunciation of the 'stow* is a
necessary part of the hygiene of older
people i atid greatly assists the diroula.,
tiOn of their blood."
IIOW about, a couple frOM bgden Nash i
that great humorist in verSe, thiS
one's entitled Song Of The Open Road:
I think that I shall never see
A billboard lovely as a tree..
Indeed', unless the billboards fall,
I'll never see a tree at all.
That's typically American in theme
and content, but here's a little couplet
Of his that is symbolic and universal:
If .you hear the . scream of a panther
Don't anther.
I can't resist one more Ogden Nash,
and if you haven't read hini, buy a copy.
This is called Reflections-. On Ice-
Breaking.
Candy
Is dandy
Btit liquor
IS quicker.
Then, of course, there's the epigram,
a very brief witty obseritation. Its
master was Oscar Wilde, who came to, a
bad end, in more ways -than one. But
our, sample will be from Hillaire Belloc.
Entitled On His Books.
When I am dead, I hOpe it may be said:
His sins were scarlet,. but his books
• were read.
Isn't that a nice example of the pun,
as well as saying in two lines sotnething-
abOut the monstrous pride of the writer?
Here's another by Belloc. It'S called,
simply, Epitaph On My Wife:
Here lies my wife. •
Here lies. she.
Hallelujah!
Hallett:dee!
Then there is the limerick. Some
Of the funniest (and foUtest) verses in
the language, are found" in this form. Btit
this is simply cleVer; or CleVerly
The bottle of perfume that Willie sent
Was nighty displeasing to Millicent;
Her thanks were go cold
They quarreled, I'M told
Thrtingh• that silly Scent Willie sent
• The fine art of satire has fallen into
lethargy these days-
'
except perhaps among.among.
political cartoonists,, where it is often
merely cruel ; tattier than witty. But the
RoMari SititiSt, Martial, wrote a verse
that is just as' modern as it WAS 2',00
years ago,
The golden hair Vabtilla Wears,
IS hers. Who can deny
she SWOO.rs 'tit hers,. and true' she
'Swears.
For I did see her bay it,
Many Canadians tend to take life Veil;
seriously, I hope theSe samples, ninety
per- cent of which were taken from school
texts, will help diSpeit that preoccupation,
80a Whether your troubles are kidSi or
parentS, or old people, or unrequited:loot
reineniber* YOti have only one life. And,
this is it. ErijoY.
Sugar and Spice
by Bill Smiley