HomeMy WebLinkAboutThe Signal, 1915-3-25, Page 3THE SIGNAL : G(►DRRICH : ONTARIO
T uasoAT. Mawr >I. Ills 6
Bowser
€uddk Down
Tie Mother -184n Is the
Gine of It.
My M. QUAD.
Copyright 1n., by the McClure
Newspaper syndloats ,
On We way home the other evening
ML Bowser had his feet stepped on.
his hat knocked off and bre ribs poked
by umbrellas, and by the time be
reached hien be was ready fora row.
To add fuel to his feeling be found
that his mother-in-law had arrived
two bout before and was comfortably
installed at tbe bead of ■ffalra, while
Mrs. Bowser bad gone to Lied with a
headache. Pormal greetings had scarce-
ly been exchanged wbeu be saki:
"What's ■I1 Bobs twaddle about head-
ache. When I lett the house this
morning Mrs. Bowser was as chirp as
a cricket Mighty funny .that • bead•
•cbe should flop ber Into bed all at
once «
"There's nothing funny about
promptly replied the mother -to law.
"8be bad a nervous headache, and I
told her to go to bed. She looks to
me as if ber nerves were all nicked
W pieces, and site ought to go home
with me fur a year."
'Th:,t'r all nonsense: Tier nerves ■rs
aH right -aa right ■s mine. She'■ prob-
"r GARS sea SrY TEEst MINOT= TO OOT
OUT.'
ably been sloshing around In the rain
and got ber feet wet. and If so she
will get no'pity from me."
"You are not asked nor expected to
pity ber. sir. and if you want any din-
ner you'd better eat It now! I found
the cook very lazy and Impudent and
trylag to run things to suit herself,
and therefore 1 dl..cbarged her. I've
managed to cook a little something
myself, however."
"Yon-yoo discharged tbe cook at an
hour's notice!" be exclaimed. with
gushed face.
"1 gave ber seventeen minutes to get
oat rd Like to We a cook or any one
else trying to walk oyer my danghter."
Mr. Bowser sat down to the table
with his gorge In his throne. The
=other in-law bad thrown down the
gauntlet and be bad picked 1t up.
"It 1s a picked up dinner," she ex-
plained as she brought It from the
kitchen. "This Is ooe of my Irish
stews and 1 know you'll like It"
"A stew for dinner!" be gasped as
Ms gee began to roll.
"Osetalnly and not much beside*. but
s It's good enough for me It's good
enough for yon. I've heard about your
finding fault with your dinner, but
you can either eat this or let It alone.
,**hen a man gets the Idea that ■ house
ie run for his benetit only 1t'■ time he
was brought to book."
Mr. Bowser meant to jtimp rap and
pound on the table and de••lare that he
liras master of his own house and
girooldn't eat Irish stew for dinner If
be starved to death. but to hie intense
S urprise he not only clung to his chair.
bat actually found Himself eating the
Stew There wn. aomethin¢ In the icy
glare of the woman that bad a re-
admitting Influence on hi. Impetnoalty.
The coffee was weak and the potatoes
underdone. and he had opened his
mouth to &Mlere that he wouldn't ask
a hog to sit down to such a meal when
the mother In-law tautened her eyes on
blm and said:
a"You just keep quiet and he tbnnk-
tot for what you're got i've knowa
bnshsnde to make a dinner on raw tor.
nips,"
The podding was flavored with ve-
silla. and had hire. Bowser been tbere
bit. Bowser world Dare made her
heart mete for ■ month, but those icy
eyes checked his outbreak mad area
compelled him to eat rather gammen
b- It was only when dinner was fin-
ished and they hod !yearned to the Mt.
Vng room that be determined to shake
we the nimbus and assert his tole-
pandenc.
"I Ibisk 111 go over to the deb for
two or three hours this evening." be
observed as b. toyed with the cat
"foal' do stetbtag of the tied.' me
peed the saotbsPh-lew se she wheeled
w him. "To.11 Mt right here end ego
If m doctor Is wasted or 1f there are
any wrestle to be done Tb. Idea of
you leafing around • club when your
wife M almost tee sick to speak! It
yet bed a eon toe cors the whole
lasse would have b hover over your
lir. Bowes, choked and strand/M la
a` Indignation to es of st "` grinned AILING WOMEN
and said to herself that things would
break Mose prelty soon.
"And i've beard." continued the wo-
arta as her teeth clicked together, '.that
7a play poker at the club and sowr
times lose as much .■ $)0 of an eves- I
ing. I wish you were my husband
far about an hour! You'd never play
pater more than twee:"
"Did you come out here to Insult and
.Lis.o user demanded Mr. Bowser,
with a Saab of independence.
"1 CON out here to struighten things
up, and I shall do It abe sternly re-
plied.
Then followed ■ powerful silence.
broken at last by his gulag down to the
cellar to Hall a board on the coal bin.
11e bad just started to drive t nail
when the tootberin law appeared on
the stairs and said:
"Drop that hammer like a hot potato[
Don't you know that erery blow goes
through your poor wife's bead with a
bang? You're got about as much beast
In you as a rhinoceros^
"Roman. bow dare you talk to me
like that!" he .touted is his ,face grew
white as boor.
"Don't call me 'woman' and yell out
that way!" she replied. "No bull-
dozer can scare me a cent's worth. If
you want something to do go up and
.It with your wife' while 1 wash up the
dishes."
Mr Bowser sulked for a few minutes
and then walked upstairs. Finding
Mn Bowser asleep. Bre thought It
would be a g . ad thing to overhaul his
dresser Ile had scarcely pulled out
owe of the drawers when he discovered
a sock with a bole In the heel. indlg-
nation overcame him on the instant.
i and be flourished the sock on high and
exctalmerf:
"So t hla Is the way my house is ruts.
is tt: Here's • sock that 1 bought new
two weeks aro and never had on my
foot. and yet some one bas worn a
hole In the heel!"
"Is -is It your asked Mrs. Bowser.
:la she woke op.
"Yrs, it is me, and what stout this
sock? Look :t it: Behold this speci-
men of wifely Interest In your bur
le'nd's welfare! rs It any wonder" -
The another -In-law appeared at that
moment, and pointing to the stain, she
said:
'You ■od your holey aock get out o'
this as fast as you can!"
Mr. Bowser got_ Something in ber
he feared -some element or mastery -
hut as they returned to the sitting
room he shook off the feeling and
hoarsely whispered:
'There 1s a train ■t 10 o'clock 1a the
morning! You can go by that!'
"If I do it'll be as a corpse:" she
grimly replied. "Sit down tbere! Now.
then, 1 want to tell you a few things.
You are a bulldozing bu.band, and It
would do you good to be bit across
the neck with a crowbar. Too think
you know It all, and you are bound to
have your way over everybody. No
otber woman to this world except
your wife would Kee with you two
hours, sod she's a fool for doing It!
You never come home except to kick
about somcthlug. and If I *as yonr
wife I'd scald you You talk about
waste and extravagance and yet you'd
buy sand for sugar if left alone. Yon
boss and browbeat Hud roar and het.
low. but in a week 1'11 bare you as
humble as a cat: It's ail 1n the right
woman getting bold of you."
"And you'll stay a week"' groaned
Mr. Bowser.
"Four of them.!" she replied. "And
I'II work a remarkable change In you
or know the reason whyi it won't do
yopl a mite of good to roll your eyes,
grind your teeth and crack your toes:'
YJU've got to cuddle right down like
a barrel of molasses. Don't go upstairs
again till bedtime. sod If there's any
more rows over holey socks you'll go
barefooted in your shoes the rest of
the winter"'
She went to the kitchen to finish too
dishes, and the cat crept over to Mr.
Bowser and rubbed against his leg and
purred in sympathy. The room seemed
to stifle blm, and he got up and walked
softly down the hall and out on the
step, followed by the cat, and they sat
down aide by side and gazed into va-
cancy. A tramp batted at tbe gate and
asked for a loan of a dime to get vlek
foals for We vitals. but Mr. Bowser
and the cat gazed on -gazed at vacan-
cy and realized that the end of the
world was close at band.
Money Wasted.
"That young millionaire Rays be hold,
you in the kindest remembrance. He
pyo It was at a party glren by you
that he proposed to bis wife."
"The affair has uopleesant rendsls.
minces for me. That was a very ex-
pensire party. and 1 gave It In the ex-
pectation that be was gang to propose
to one of my girls "—Keens City Jour-
Doi
ourtaL
All There.
Aoslou■ Highbrow -i want to buy a
book treating In detail of the art of
strategy.
Chet -Here Is the very thing yea
wast It M entitled "How to Keep •
Oood Cook." - Richmond Theca-UIr
patch.
Useful Improvement
"i see nothing oatmeal shoot the
typewriter
-Don't you notice the mirror attach -
meat? Tot bare no Idea bow leech
time it seven a girl." -Louisville Oso
IrfM-7euraal.
Welty Ser(eWy Rlt.f.
Tbsn wse.msereorMrs.
Aelliewsrsolleisorwlins
sr.redanletnewlr+.
Det
be
vireliket
eat
bar
bl� —ser. SWIM
WALL DECORA11ON
OFMIDDLE AGE Choice and Placing of Pictures
Mrs DoucetteTells of her Dis-
tressing Symptoms During
Change of Life and How
She Found Relief.
Belleville, Nova Scotia,Can.-"Three
years ago f was suffering badly with
what the doctors
called Change of
Life. I was so bad
that 1 had to stay in
bed. Some friends
told me to take Lydia
E. Pinkham's Vege-
table Compound and
it helped me from
the first It is the
only medicine I
took that did help
me and 1 recommend,
it You don't know how thankful and
grateful I am. I give you permission
to publish what your good medicine has
done for me." -Mrs. Stroh Douce'rr ,
Belleville, Yarmouth Co., Nova Scotia,
Canada
Such warning symptoms as sense of
suffocation, hot flashes, headaches, back -
aebea,dread of impending evil, timidity,
mounds In the ears, palpitation of the
heart, 'perks before the eyes, irregu-
larities, constipation, variable appetite,
weakness and inquietude, and dizziness,
are promptly heeded by intelligent wo-
men who are approaching the period in
life when woman's great change may
be expected.
Lydia E. Pinkham's Vegetable Com-
pound invigorates and strengthens the
female organism and builds up the weak-
ened nervous system. It has carried
many women safely through this crisis.
If you Wast special advice write t.
Lydia E. Plakbam Medicine Co. (cond.
deattall Lynn, Mass. Your letter will
be opened, read and answered by a
stemma. a•d held in strict coabde.ee.
di I
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«•illiani Irian Ilowell-, at rt dinner
in B•.•ton, said of m..slern Americsn
hotel.: "Thr average womb*, novel
shows, , it the novelist's part. an
ignoranee ..f hls•trade, .sbi •hreuail
toe of u New E ngband clerk. In a
N.w England village I cntere.t the
maie street dojtartraier 1 .tore one nfrer
noon sr•d said to th" r'erk st the b•o .k
conntet : 'Let me have. nleasP, the
"L-tters of ('ti.ries l.wnih 'Poe -
odic -.
P. '-
odic- right :rem+s the street. Mr.
Lanai,' said the aril., with a 1...lit •.
*risk smile."
What Doctors Use for
Eczema
A soothing rornhina':on of oil of
w intergrrrn, thymol. and ether howl
ing ingredients called I). 1).0. Pr..
ac. ipt.. is now a favorite remedy of
•kin .p,--iali.tq for ail ak'n disease..
1• penetrate. the Holes, g v. instant
relief beim the most disttrs.ing itch.
Ile soothing nils quickly he.l the in-
flamed tissues.
rest, it • soothing 'tiro. All dreg-
gi.ra Fta.re s gen it oil- trial bocce for
only 'S.ic. Come and let us tell you
rat out aur mi,' ey back guarantee offer
t•1 her p,.0 from your d(•trea.. Ask
also ahtart D. D. D. Soap. Jam. A.
Campbell, Central Deng Pion.. (ode-
✓ irh. 1). 1). 1). is maul. in Canada.
SCHOOL REPORTS.
r
No. 3, ASHFIELD.
V. anal 1V.. -Belle VrKenzie 1117, me'
Griin 322. Lottie MrKeezie 170: *Fill
.1 .!,stun lab. McI)o• old 11S. •1--
arwl %('I),nslil 127. •Rears Rerk•tt
124. 111.-J.ehn M••Kny Ifit. Richard
WVea•lel, St.nier l)r.nnsn I12. L•I7
1R•Kenzie int, '31.ry Melvin, 135, Will
lirnjamio 1:1.2. I1. and i-_llatr.ild
('clhr..on 151. Kather ir:e Mc[) , ahl SI,
Lois McKenzie tai, Harry West Illi.
• tui..'•d part of rx sntP J. G, Y R4
LAND. Test -her.
FRECKLES.
February and March Worst Months for
This Trouble -Hoar to Remove
Easily.
Tl r.e'.aroa.onwhy rrn•ly every-
body fr'elles in F; hntary aria Marek,
hot Kapp ly there is also h remedy f•a
these ugly htrmi.he', and no one 11". d
cies♦ frroklyd.
tiirepl% Kest an nonee of cathine,
&elide otien,t)1). from- rnnr drngq.-1
ani sp.nly ., 1110•• of it nigh' :tint
morning. and in a fess' dluys von should
are that even the wot.t freckles have
begun to disappear. whi'e the light
ones hair vsoi.hr.l , iV ir.R-. Now is
the time to rid yourself of ir.r'.les, for
if not 1eur,ve t row t 11 ay s'ay all
annum"r. Arad Ppoil h"twin" hsna-
tlful e,,np1cllo'. Your tunny v back
:r all innfalls.
A Long Engagement
"Do vnu believe in lontl engage-
mont. •" he saki d, After she hat con -
Nettled to be hi-. "Yee, dearest," she
replied. "I Fars wIwsys thought
it !Veit a Ini bks for two people
In rush into m.trintony before they
learned to really know rsch other."
•'Well. a wt how long would nes
wish the mint to M?
",.t
sasses, S told yon think It was dun
lone if we didn't fret marrieal unfit a
week from nest Thursday r
QUICK NAPTHA
rNF •
WOMANS SOAP
Properly Requires Taste.
OVERCROWDING IS CRITICISED
Use et Novelties Should Depend on
Their Artistic Value --Colored Plas-
ter aa.•r•Iiefs of Old Masterpieces
Planes Many People.
A few well chosen pictures will lend
distinction to a route The use of
many aural) picture. suggests confu-
sion. While a few large, choice paint-
ings or photogravures. handsomely
framed, make the simply funttsh.d Ilv-
lug norm a more d/sties isbatl interior
than perhaps it really Is, walls covered
with framed pants, photographs.
aketebea and passe partouts, tura It
foto • "den." cozy and intimate. per-
haps. but not a room In which to re-
ceive
esceive visitors or to dispense hospitality.
A constant proves of elimination L
necessary if the wally of the small
apartment are not to t* overcrowded.
There are .o many charming little pic-
tures that tempt the eye. hand colored
(te
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:411=D.r'IILLARU50N•
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New Sprl nCoats•
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The New Spring Coats are very stylish this season. •
They come in Covert Cloths, Serges, Tweeds, etc. •
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Prices ranging from $8.00 to $15 00•
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New Raincoats for the April Showers
Just to hand a splendid showing of women's and childretl's Raincoats,
anteed rainproof.
The BIy'rhswond wont n'a Itain-
C..(. made from heavy cash -
more cloth. Perfrer fl'tmg, high
col: -*r, Ret -Ill .1eev,s, belt .,
back. FAwn uud grey. Speeb.l
. ... $8.50
The Renfrew woolen'. Rain-
coats in fawn, gtwr mid green.
High collar, belt At heck. All
sizes, special.. . ...... 55.00
materials are gttar-
Children's !overripe* Rain (tepee
ex• rs smart fir Spring wear,
Hoods lined with t.r'sn,
siz►s in stock, in fawn and navy.
Prices from 53.00 to 115.00
Your New Easter Gloves
Notwithstanding the great scarcity of (;loves, almost all Kid Gloves coming from France,
our stock is most complete in all colors and sites in our well-known Perrin lines.
Perrin's French Kid Olt:ves, a Perrin's Kernel's Kid Wove.,
atilt and colors, rynry pair extra yuslity, fully guaranteed.
Black, too and white. Per psit-
guarsr:teetl. Per pair. 51.00 61.25
Perrin's elbow -length Kid Gloves in black. tan. white and ,zrey. tirecial per pair, $2.:11).
Perrin'.'. S.yov KM Glove.,
Pnier quality, a veru .les. y
glove, will gige esery seti.f.e-
ti .n. Bark 'nil tan. .Per rile
. .. .. 61.50
Easter Neckwear
The daintiest of the new Neckwear is here ready- for your choosing and never was such a
splendid assortment shown before in the new Lily- Collar. in all styles. From 'sac to SI .27. each
NEW HAND BAGS NEW VEILINGS
M -CALL'S PA77ERNS and PUBLICA7IONS
Millar's - Scotch -Store
TELEPHONE NO. 56
`•111•6.61111•111080•0060041606•000••••••••••0
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COLORED PLASTER nag-kilJEPa
prints of places endeared by sentiment,
photographs of Niacin,' paintings and
the like. F:acb may be excellent In
Itself; but massed, better skelter. on
the walls of living room or bedroom
they make a jumble which robs the
room of individuality. .
Groups of passe partooted photo-
graphs may be bung In the ball. and
the arrangement of such pictures In
such a place must be very regular.
with even spaces between the pictures
and between the groups.
Large pictures in kbe living room
should not he hung too high. a very
common mistake. As a rale. the lower
edge of a very large picture should be
about four fret from the floor. of a
medium sized picture about five feet
from the floor. Smaller pictures hung
between the larger ones tnay be tire
and a half feet from the floor, and the
spaces at either side of the small pic-
ture should be the same. Sometimes a
email picture may be hong exactly be.
low a larger one. and in this case the
larger one will be lifted n trifle.
In almost every well furnished
Trench room there is a well placed
mirror, sometimes two or three. The
dweller in a small apartment should
not forget the value of mirrors in cre-
ating perspective and making a small
room appear larger than it really 1s.
A high. narrow mirror flanked by
sconces gives an exceedingly distin-
guished effect.
Decorntire novelties are the bas-re-
liefs of old masters, which may be
seen to the art shops These are really
white planter bas reliefs tinted in ar-
tistic colors. They are framed In ault-
■ bly simple moldings of harmonizing
Of contrasting colors. Frames of gold.
of white enamel. of ebony. black wal-
t at, etc.. are variously used. Three
ehmnicterlstic baa reliefs are pictured
ber..
A Standing Watch.
A small watch that stands upright L
seen in the shops. 1t 1. especially eon-
saplent for the desk or dressing table
It la guaranteed to keep correct time
and to be In good running condition
when it Is
A Liber. oat.. Mees .dowel yids M3eeaar "les Pers" Paine
Unpainted wood means decay. Not to paint your hoose, means a
swta.t expense for repairs. Paint protects against wear and weather.
When you take out our "1004, Pun Policy", your house is insured
against decay.
Stich paint protection resists the destructive effects of clim•.te wad
temperature, besides ridding be.utj and distinction to the borne .cd valve
to your whole property.
mems life iesurene• for your home. The genal.• White [seed, Oxide
of 7..ise, Pare Colors sad Li.seed Oil -ground to evtreme tlwaeese by
powerful machinery -form • combination that protects sgaiest deal.
"100S Pen" Feist makes preteetioo sure. It spreads •sally,
orrery completely ..d is the obespeat ie eh. sod because it covers eon
sperm par gelfoe. W. have it i. .11 colon for sprig painting.
Rich embroideries will be much used
for girdles.
All of the brad brimmed hate aro
worn of a pronounced angle.
(troche crepe de chlae is excellent for _
hlnose"esptecial)y in dark bines.
ltnme hnndsnme sports coats are
made rap In corduroys sod velveteens.
The narrow lining baa not tern die
'needed In frocks for semiformal wear.
Trains are pieces et abaft Matting
hero 'tad there without any apparent
11116118111,
JOB AND COMMER::IAL
Printing? the Signal
Visiting Card* and
Wedding Stationery
a Speellblty