The Huron Signal, 1884-3-21, Page 6of auk.-.
L..
Wit
RS
tntbti i ►-ta,
6
A OONF>flk a [ON
4M .'erase• remeaMeed asarneg tae t mere
era neral Ilse.
A gentleman, who had led a. exem-
plary We, and against sham moral or re-
ligious character there never ba 1 bees
so much as a breath . f stlepicwn, was
takes leery sack, and in premium., of
death, certain acts hitherto unoonudri-
ed came t.' his mini with attuuiatng
doses, resuliiu.t ►u the foliowinv conies
skis of came, which he hoped, albeit
with slender faith, might to forgiven
him .
I have on one or two urc.aions bor-
rowed postage stamps and Lulled to s-
pay them.
I have neglected lo strew lobes on
my icy sidewalk, notsithataRidi111 that
I knew my neighbor was uld and gusty.
i hare eat in the horse car and lool.d
out of the front window unlit some oth-
er (mailman has Mien his seat to th
feeble old lady who had entered the rear
dour.
I have talked in u loud e.•ite at the
theatre, and even gone w far as to an-
ticipate the action „1 the drama by keep-
ing all within he.,in` pestt.l in what
was going to 1s done nest.
I have looked over the shoulder of
another who was writing aa.methiig that
was no business of mine.
I have whirled and played with the
devil's tattoo to the presence of a writ-
er in the threes of computation.
I hared talked about my affairs for
hours with a man whom I was well
aware was dying to tell about his
I hare permitted a lady, clad in heavy
fun, to keep the car window ..pen, in
my cnwanlice preferring to suffer from
catarrh for weeks afterwards rather time
insist upou the window twisty instantly
closed.
I have allowed myself to be bored for
Soars by a man, when my judgment
s►Vud have told mu to instruct arty ser-
vant that 1 was always out when this
gentleman presented himself.
After working long and arduously up-
on an article fee the {:rose, 1 never failed
t0 mention to the editor that this •as
aomethiag 1 had just dashed off.
I have l.orsided in reading neine of
py eospositiuus to people who i 1(pew
wereaafferiws terribly under that tilhic-
diem
1 have told a friend that i have read
his book with absorbing inters:at, and
been weak enough to return it iodmim
without baying cut open the pages
1 have tipped a waiter in t'oe hope that
h. would attend to any w dots before
waiting upon the gentleman : ' the next
table who could not afford to .ehet-e the
hotel -keeper from the hardship of ray-
ing his servant% wager.
I have sat in the car with my ticket
hidden under my thumb, that happily
the conductor might pass air enticed.
1 have caused the shop -dealer to fall
into mendacity by asking him if his ber-
ries were as good at the bottom as at the
top.
I have rejoiced when my friends told
me that my children were the perfect
image of nae, notwithstanding that my
mirror ought to have reminded me that
I should be zad rather than joyful, if
my friends toll the truth.
i have cnmmuitted many other t;nov-
,.Os offences which time f its Int. to en -
numerate. My last atad wickedest .rime
has bean to mase this confession, when
I might have carried army secret to the
ours and left the world to believe that
1 was indeed the perfect man 1 had al-
ways tried to make everjb edy think I
war. —[ hili.
"""- THE HURON SJGJAL, FRIDAY MARCH 2i. 1884.
sewW lawn. Mat.
Dust .hake a hornet's .vest w ass if
asy of the family sae M home.
Datil try to take the right of way
Wen an upraise train ata railroad crew-
ing.
Dua't talk hack to a w. moo who ban-
dies the ere shovel with grace and dex-
terity.
1)ua't go near a draft
toward yes, run away.
the met eangerUua
Dunt blow in the gun your grand-
father carted in the war of 1812. it is
more dangerous Dow than it waa then.
Dont Iced a wasp by the other cod
whsle you thaw it out in front of the
stove W see if it is alive- it is generally
alive.
Don't try to persuade a dog to give up
• yard of which it is in poasesat..o, seta
cially if he happens to be a bull dote.
Pussemien to a bull dog is ten points of
the law.
Don't sat things atter you have
enough because you fear they will go to
waste ; au_h a custom will bring you too
much to waste }-ourself.
1).Nt't go to bed with your beets on.
This is one of the most unhealthy prse-
aces that a man, especially a married
o1 11,
can be addicted to.
Ltt't call a very large, sinewy man •
prei ai icator. If yeti are sure he is a
prevaricator, hire another mail to break
the news to him
Don't put an old bombshell in the
stove to amuse the sadisoos- You may
not linger !sere hc'ow to enjoy the ap-
plause, even if you should win any.
Dont. when gunning, put the pipe
you have been stroking into the pocket
where you are carrying your powder,
unless you have a strong constitution
and another snit of clothes
Duti't allow the baby to drink the mm-
centrsted lye. Concentrated lye is dan-
gen.us, even in very small dories, except
to a man who is accustomed to drinking
Baltimore curet a:aukey.
If a draft comes
A sight draft is
had
Old
Is sew lark.
As Mr. DeWitt C. Pease, of New
York, stepped from a Micby►an Central
train in Chicago lately a handsome young
lady skipped rap to hits, threw her arms
rapturously about his neck, and kissed
him many times, Mytwg
•()he peps ' I'm sn glad you have
come.'
Mr. Pease threw both arms around
her and held her firmly to his breast.
80011 she looked up into his face, and
horror stood in her eye.
•lift, my ! you're not m ti papa ' she
said, trying to free herself from kis eta -
bract.
'Yes, I sea,' insisted Mr. Pease, hold-
ing her tightly. 'You are Iny long Let
daughter, and I am going to keep you
right in my arms till I get a policeman.'
When the officer came and found Mr.
Pease's diamond pin in the girl • hand
he said . 'That's a new trick here.'
Is it r said Pease. 'Well, it's old in
New York.' -{New York Sun.
Plantation Mlte.eper•
a lliasaYe w• ace CareeeMse.
The wring modes, of people is
gnat number is cities i...latah ,.ad
with a wader difiusiss 01 ksowtet a n-
latimg to rural We will sense a better ap-
preeiatMw of tbe oar m.try sad the blies-
ta'sit brings t u the p`yeieal as to the
p
eritlal man. W • bare bees dsatroying
forests and bedding towns, sad on the
Oen of the old walled antics of Swope.
But already this mistake is being cor-
rected. and tre•-plantsog in cities is be-
ing &dvucated. And as the people.(t he
Old World are setting us au maniple. we
shall mine be planting shade trees in all
oar cities Among abs arguments ad-
vanced to favor of this plan is the relief
to the optic sore• through the eye matins
en a green color. Weak eyes sarong rut
dwellers in the cities u attributed to the
abeenoe ul green foliage in our atrests,
and the scientists are favoring the pre -
MOM of trees in all city thoroughfares.
Wean a ram of latest destroyers and
are only induced to stop our practices
when utilitarian arvuweuta inea•oce us
against the practice. Gradually the mu -
Warangal aide of the tatter wille..num:el
reouguition and people will outgrow
their murderous instinct toward trans.
They will learn to love them and d.hght
to lire amesg thein. Jest as the o m,-
seuptive loves the pines and is grateful
to tbem, so will all become through a
larger deselupment than we yet possess
What friends to man the are ' And
how ber.ifioent u their silent presence
among us, standing sentinel -like, a pro-
tecting pbalanl to shelter and bless
those who lure and reverence them and
are ohildlice enough te rest in the
depths of their solitudes. —: Jlanhatan for
Jtarch.
De wise man an' de fou! doan .luarrel.
but two fools ur tan wise then k -ain't
get along so wed.
De man what merrier a ', duan 'case
she's got mere sense den he has is neber
aliewed to lose sight.ob dat fack.
De chile dat t ' o stem shows signori'
rot -these dean turn out ter 1.e de smart-
est mea. De fust tonin dat epees is
neber .le hes
De gigglie• ,mal ginettlly turns oat ter
be de woman what den Laugh munch,
an' lentnte tel yea, marriage an' o lot o'
ehillun will take de chuckle .totes de
mos' u' ten. --[Arkansew Traveler.
11'br >♦s water rem. Is TIM terms
hoarding -house keeper- 'A glass of
hot water ! What can the man want
with a glass of hot water ' He doesn't
shave.' -
Conk—'He wants ter drink it.'
'To drink i1 1 Well, i never
'0, all the boarders is sending fur hot
water new three titres a day '
'Goodness me' What for 1'
'Fur to drink. Whey coli it the hot-
water cure.'
'11 dos beat all what new -tangled no
tions come up. What does it cure 1'
'1), they tray it do cure everything jest
splendid."
'Thank fortune, it's cheap, (live 'ens
all the hot water tbey want, Mans.'
b -des•
'So hot water is a great can, is it !
Well, i shan t let any of my branders
Sat sick for want of tnelicine. Inst put
if gallon of hot water in That oyster soup,
Maria ; and 1 guess you better take out
the oyster now it might 1* to rich.
(Philadelphia hall.
a erasers ata a Trade
Reedy Trump-- 'Cantu you help me a
little, sir r
Philanthropes! 'How dud you get ta-
to this condition t nave you ne t tad e r
1I..dy ]troop—'l has. • good trade,
bast you sae 1 ass always helping to hear
other people's baaleas.
Philanthropist-- 'Ah ! any poor fellow.
Hare is Ilse others. By Om way. what
particular burden do you help .then to
bear r
Needy Tramp -11a burden of the
whisky tan-'
Junes—'My gramme ! this ea terrible.'
Smith -.Mercy ! what has lappesed !'
Jenea—There is a m..retisat to re-
taliatejtsl Getman, by • eilthallsonl re-
fusal to drink another drop of imported
German wine.'
Smith—'WeU, what of me 1 Hew an
that affect jou "
Jones --'Affect me 1 it will ruin is.
I hate 20,+)O0 empty wine b..ttles of
Germs., make nn hand and have last
taken a ninety year lease on a New dor-
soy a mne-xar,factory.
Trmpe.t se • Trepes
'What s tea this morning' asied Prink
of his grocer the other day
'Sixty rents.'
'Well, sin t that too stem •e
'4N course it's to steep ; pro wouldn't
r..ut tea, would you r
A tle.mtt.s as ttae ream.
(reader, hate yea a kssguid, weak and
tired feeling, with nervous exhaustion,
especially in the early spring 1 Then
your liver is inactive and circulation pour.
Arouse the torpid liver, cleanse the'slug-
gish blond and regulate the secretions
with that purifying tonic,Burduck Blood
Bitten. 2
4 tgarreses lad Fee tar Area.
Per silt ace!
The aged, tilrh:ht.twt auJ Sutras will
GRA meowed vigur aaJ el resets by tat -
nag Bardusk lilted Bi•lets. Ttte pious
hastewieg 10 early dere? will also 6ud iia
this revitalisiwt were a remedy we•rth
Oreg.
raaaati atom Lgaaasae
Needs are advertising when once intro-
duosd. Every bottle sold sells huudr's.l.
of ,titers by doing all and more them re-
nted far Nwurlgia, Toothache,
iijsdacjle, etc. 11 removes any pate
instantly quick a. gash. Try it and you
will say u u well named Fluid Lightning.
Oct a 25 cwt bottle at 1.1. lthynas' drug
sten. h
emelt Ices.
Any reader troubled withr Cl•m int
Costiveness, Headache,
etc., shuud call at 11e.'. Rhyne' drug
store and secure s free trial bottle .d
Mdlregur s Speedy Cure at .Nae which
will convince you .f the merits ..f the
medicine. it cures permanently when
all .other medicines have failed. As a
bleed purifier it has aro equal. Remem-
ber, it costs nothing to try it. Rivulet
rr. fifty cents and one dollar. at -
' %lac ria) striae.5Ndeee.
\Ir. Haien l'iuutis, N,.. :ill Dm•yt'•.m
Si.. Chicago, 111., is now in her sixtr-
-ighth year, and stair. that she hart suf-
fered with Consumption f..r about ten
years, was treated by nine physicuus,all
of thein pronouncing her cue hopeless.
She had given up all hope of over mow -
ernt!. Seven beetles of Dr. King's New
Diseevory for Consumption completely
cured her. Doubting ones, please dreg
her a tamest and satisfy yourselves. Call
At J. \Milson'• drug store and gat a free
trial bottle. (I
Seeing is believing. Read the testi
tnuuiala in the pwil.hlet on Dr. Van
Buren's Kidney Cute, theft buy • bet,le
and relieve yourself of all those dirtrrs+-
ing pains. four Druggeet can tell you
all about it Sold lay.! Willem Go.ierichj
2m
The use of 1'.b'., 4adts,Castor 4111, Se.,
and om lav nauseous, griping Cathart If*
is unnecessary-, as a pleasant substitute
is found in I)r. Carson's Bitten. which
act as A Cathartic without gnpine or
causing nausea. All druggists sell it
50 cents ■ bottle.
All Nervous Debility cured by the use
of Dr. K C. West's Nerve aunt Brain
Treatment. See advertisement elsewhere
Sold at Wila..n's drug at..me. 21.
"Are you selling many cigarettes
new 1' asked a reporter of a well-known
tobacconist.
"Not aumane all 1used to. I am not
particularly anxious for this class of
trade, and I have hent ceased to keep
brands o.1 the commonest kind."
The reply was somewhat of a surprise
to the repurter, and he asked, “Why r
-Because I have land a remarkable
case trought to my attention which fur-
nishes a good reason. An acquaintance
of my son. who is ten years of age, con-
tracted the habit of smoking cigarettes.
He did not buy therm from me, but went
elsewhere end purchased the cheapest
kind. After using thew for some tints
the poison from the smoke caused an
ulcer to form in his left nostril, which
developed so seriously thit he had to
undergo an. operation. The poison in
the wound spread to his left cheek,
which became so swollen that another
e
It com-
mperation unicated with theenterrve) .1 his left
eye, which in turn became affected so
seriously that he gradually lost the sight
et it Whether it will affect the sight of
the other I do not knew, but the lad's
face is simply terrible t.. witneea. It u
scarred and puffed up so as to be almust
unrecognizable. The boy is still in the
doctor's hands, and I hear he is shortly
to undergc a third .operation. If that
can isn't a good enough reason for nut
selling cigarettes to boy. I s!m, •uld like to
hear of a better. '
a Tagsat4Rams.
1rtuans, actors, sportsmen. turciaa.c•
and laboring men, in tact all who unduly
exert muscular strength. are subject to
pain el contractions .4 the cords, stiff
joints and lameness ; to all such Hag -
yard'. Yellow oil as prompt relief and
perfect cure. 2
Tie Mama gN.Mea
This e'eeti''s is flow in the taws it
may 90' hsps be s esefnl Atm to intimate
that an atoselete load at the palls may be
obtained Ay the jedmcinus d,trihution to
the electors el Putnam'• Corn Kitraator,
the great ratasedy for earns Every sof
twee would be made happy. and waned
certainly rode far rho parson afbaditat
him relief. Safe, sum punkas B1. -
ware of don urn wketltwtes They ore
waw being ornersel M ' j is Broil' QM
ewly Putslel'L
., .••.`., •e..•e�Ry :ate,:
At this season of the year thereshuuld
be a bottle of Pretoria in every house.
it is weysalle 1 fur Coughs Colds and
Hoarseness, is pleasant. overtly safe for
children. Price 25 cuts at all drug-
gists. a
Obetrwetiotss art the Seeesach, Liner,
ant B..wela, are pr'•mm:p:iy r+ nu.v.d by
National Pills. rel
d At an anarchist n.ert.ng, in Petri• it was
ceeided te•taautt.in strict secteey con-
erning the prepamau..•o. bon . us•ie tar
a ,mete' ¢sthenia.:.
For Hath tsrudui..n. •.t the Skin.
S! ampoeuing the head, Peoples, Eruption
and skin diseases. Poe Prot. Low's Sul-
phur :+...p. m
Extensive Premises and Solendid New Stock
CABINEF - MAKER AND UNDERTAKER
Hamilton Street, Goderich _
are, � ea Tei
A good rs OWE'. a of C1tcAea. .suit,. L 4, oa hewn •ands, j yessar. waatimaads
Ales- (Mfrs Ibsir. caw sad wad sra� ��'aVA••rd
Lounges. hulas. What -Nuts• Lusaka'
N. It. .t eumupletr awn'rrteul 4114.:41L11.• rad :' roods always un baud also Hearses far air
at rmeunaWr rale
1'.clwre Ytamlawa.p,i;lsla).--A all yoli:Ted
a■ .twiner Wasted.
eau any one bang us a case of Kidney
or liver Complaint that Electric Bitters
will not speedily cure 1 We say they
cannot. as thousands of cases already
permanently eared and who are !laity re
ortntnendiug Electric hitters, will prove
Bright's Disease, Diabetes, Weak Back,
r any urinary
•They purify the blood, gl
ula ethe bow-
els, and act directly •em tis disea.ed
parts. Every bottle guaranteed. For
sale at 50c. a battle by J. Wilson. 111:
MU Abram tared.
Are you troubled with Salt Rheum,
Rough Skin, Pimples er 'Clinker Sere . ;
if so, go at once to Geo. Rhynes' blest
Store and get a package .t Mlc4 reu••1 et
Parkes Carbolic Cerate Pre:e
It was never known 10 fall. ,
A etartltag M.reren.
Phystctan s are often .tiirtletl 1. r.
markable discoit'ries. "1.n r•-tt tlat De.
Kiag's New Dls.'omery t.'r 4...nauwi.nutt
and all Threat and I.tui;t tries..l iselatly
earring patient* that they Late given ul,
toile!, is startling theta to realize their
sense •1 duty. anal examine into the
rewrite of this wonderful discovery, re-
sulting in hos tred.,oi our best Phese
comma ustke it Int th. it practice. Trial
beetles tree at .1. i is«.0 * Dnly Store.
Regular size 1111.03. (4)
Pisasde• aced M1+l.1ae+
Cel: at fir.. Rheims drat{ store and
girt i to of .Mds
lneee a Parke
Cart:.. (� . it Is composed of Year-
ling., Carbide Acid and Cerate, and has
nerer failed to renl!'ve Pimples, Blotches
Ulcerated Sores, Rough Skin. It cures f
when all wirers fail. Try It. 1.
Be not proud of thy awn Reed works,
far the judemeete of tied are .thee than
those of sett . and what pleuseth men
•oftentimes dmaplesseth Hi..
Lii..a& Msmmaty
Thar is lady bringing icy re the remit*
of theusaeds by saving many of their
dear -nos from an early grave. Trnly
Dr. Kings new Disc...vent for Consume -
tem. Coughs, Culls. Asthma, Bronchitis,
Hay Fever, lass of Voice, Tickling in
the Throat, Pain in Side and Chest, es
any disease of the Thn.at Mad Lemma
punitive lyre. (3 iaranteed. Trial Bee-
tles free at J. Wilwn'a Drag Stem. Lstge
size SI. elk (tt1
Why suffer from nervous postrate's,
when yes ean buy a g eninteed case at
Wilsomt drug store 1l)
1•lr• TSB mo► DnPwt'TT . Pevert y
with perfect health ms rather t• be chump
than nehes and rtysisepsta. Try the
nisei effect of • dollar bottle of FeeinetO
O/ H%ALTN.
save seas ase Tbilisi !laden.
it as a fact that Monza Hows,o( Tweed,
had • fever store that abated him for
tkmvty-five years. H11 bottles of Har-
dosk gloved Bitten cored him, which he
considers almost a miracle. it was but
the tsat.ral resole of the remedy rester
ins pule blood aad perfeet .eer•yon. 2
,Carter's Little Liver Pills will pwilir♦
ly cure sick headache and prevail iks re
turn. This is not talk, cwt strati. Oae
pill a dons. To M had of all druggists
Nee advsetiesment. 1.
Or ousters - A gable troll knows is
oassetwoa with the Hair Reisswee nhieh
h
.heron grey Pair to Ne natural mint by
s few weeks este Sold at 110 sesta per
.tootle try James Ware. !m
•
1;31
0reW '
4trA_Me—Y
CUE RRl
p0a THE CIIRS of
°Inals. COLDS. .
CAMP AIL NTIIL fCRITIS mien L�E
6 a t PIRsoNe Advanced sss�
J•
w. BRAYLE
PROPRIETOR' t
MONTREAL.
•v
WNO
I\)
III V.' .1.i
IS
•
•j male'' •
CHICAGO, ROCK ISLAND & PACIFIC RrY
S•ing the Great Cental Lln,,..frons to waterers. by ►oasow ce irs sawrirsiod geo-
graphical poeftiomi, ass shorter and best roots between AM Isar, leortheaat ares
Southeast, and tate Welt. Nog thereat and ilouthweet.
h Is literally and strictly true, t'mat Its c .nnecttdns a*. all O' the pnnotp.t nnM
of road between the Atlantic and the Prefect.
By its main line and branches It reaches CMnas0. Bonet. Pao, a. Ottawa.
to !ails, Oena.sso, Mpairt. and /foci, tstsnd, In 1111,015; Davenpert. Muacatlws.
Washington. Keokuk. Marland., Oskaloosa. Fennel 1, Dee Moines. hast Liberty.
Iowa City, Atlantic, Arouse. Audubon. Harlan, Outhrt Center and Ooatweu Stuns.
M towel Oanaun, Trenton, Cameron and Kansas Cmty, In M;ssourl. and Leaven-
worth and Mattison in Kansas, and trot hundreds of cities, vatltanas and tome
rtterrnailste. Tao
"CREAT ROCK ISLAND ROUTE,"
As It le tamilleng 051.4, osiers ta travelers nu .tie ad.wntagee and sowrrorts
incident to a smooth trace, east bridged. twee Depots at an conn.eM.ig points,
Fast It/arose Traits. oompoesd of CANINIMIOUg. WILL VINTILATtt4. WELL
Immo *111111.* UPNOLSTIRED me ELEGANT DAT 00, C11[S I a is of the
MOST MACIIPIOENT 005.1011 l-CLtISM0 CRAM CARS aver twist ; PULLMAM'S
latest desupsd and handss.w•et PWC[ SLEEn50 CAR.. and 04I1100 OARS
that ars acknow iudgsd by erase ant. mouse to bs ate rams/. RVN UJeOM AMT
ROAD MI T1E 00t1MTRT, sad in wit'on swoon*, masta aro carved to tre.et.r at
M. low rate of S1VINTT-F11%i t.psTS EACs.
TWIST TRAINS each nay between CMICACO awl rhe MISSOURI nesta.
TWO TRAINS meth war sat teen 01110A00 and MINACAOOLIS and *1. PAUL,
Na tins 5.1,10as
ALBERT LEA ROUTE.
« TIM.1.4.1111TRT, wR
Nwnrw ¶lIl TNS TMAT WWI
Belt v mLftr lNG tow NAO.
41,t
1
A Mw and Direct Llwe, He Samoa and Kankakee, rail resent* been opened,
between Newport Newa, 0ttwwtond, Cincinnati. lnteanapotis and La Fayette,
end Cdwtdl gums, S~PM�as
11rougses carried on FCagnetta Trains.
For moms detailed Information. two Maps and Folders. wench mat be obeMnee.
well as Tickets. at all prinotoat Ticket Offices .n the united States and Canada. oral
R. R. CABLE,- E. ST. JOHN, t t1M'I M.'vioige. 0•11•1 T•k•t t w.'r Agst
CHICACO.
n ,t
res•.
.• :.
• ti i r
m
f r ,
SOAP. SOAP. Soap. SOAP.
131$1"11218
SOAP
pQ W o. 1.
W
8I88 .OAP
tilos 2.
a8WI88 SOAP
$ No. 3.
Orme n. man'tfaer..: • J by the ore*
K.•..w.,asy mat,.1wpanr. of
ZURICH. SWITZERLAND,
.A.w trsel..at.M tarp.* tltroag►
•cel KayttaM, Prose., uww.asey,
▪ Ample. !tree•. sad Italy.
Maantornarwl tan erode este W'
sI The Huron t90 Coy
o1
BOAT. SOAP. SOAP. s0A1P,
Owe wbnte. Asp to tea, Mat.
8
CURE
sink 0..dsebs sad relieve all tin teon' .les .nr!-
MO sat .Fate., seta as Dip
*ss.,1tstuDistress aR .s .•a:
Pala 1a tbellide, Le. Waile tarty met tem-flA
Als sasses Ins bas snows la carte;;
SICK
RP.daeha,yatCostae* LittleLiverPill..r.•agsany
..!.sale 1a setas ala perrarre
. ailed ss efi' •M� ilt sit n 445 1 ert.
er
aaad regarseSrllsweia to if U.tp.sly cured
HEAD
Mite they ween beshmet pio ler to thor who
w ing trey tats diwresslag templent; het forte•
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insured by the tree of l'twniLse* Han
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