HomeMy WebLinkAboutThe Huron Signal, 1884-1-18, Page 7w 1
;ilk'. i♦r.'..11.. C1 i'(.' 1 . . 1.11►AN, ja.lN. 1`‘. i,t4.
Fun Sed Fancy.
Neese hand rearms guoe by t►e�
bat etrarch mimic by the r.
tiMtul',
'It isn't the 'autism as 'into the 'eases'
'turfs,' stud • ou.kiwy, 'hit's the aus,u.r-
iag, ammeriag ou the 'aid 'leeway.' Th.
Mme man weal West, and at the third
attests* to my Ho -i -Imo treke his jaw.
How many MOM ori there i' was ask-
ed by a Ketieuelq• aiioulagi ata. Up
sprang a shuelehestled! , with a
yard -wale Mello be his fate•4d'malaise
ed : 'Three --the speer meeting, med-
summer speeding, and fall faits.'
Its blew tate his Sen to see
K Iuedlas tar it 'waded :
T►e i ery to a than agreed
The gun blew after be did.
'Pa, what is p.tetie Nonuse r •Writ,
my b.y, as urarly as I can learn. puttee
Baur. is something which .'ablesa teas
to say thins int verse which would Pleat -
frit • bias is • lunette asylum if worked
alit at a ',withal meeting.
Merchant -1%e article is ar.t•olass,
madam ; end M $1.50 a yard is very
cheap. If we hadn't got four umatsths'
time .an it -if we hadn't bought it un
credit -me couldn't sell it to you at that
prig If we had paid cash, it would
have wet you $Y a yard, uradarn.' Mn.
Brown --• 'es, I know rt must be cheaper
to buy ear time. My husb•ud always
tells me to purchase all I can get on
credit. I think 1'U take settees' yards,
and you can just charge it to Mr.
Brown.'
LIMP raft LAt•OIT$n.
This year premises W be s bmf one.
Everytlliog will be jumping 11 s leap
year, you lame
'Thank goodrlisss it is now�•p ye.r,'
said s Pbilnhlphis girl, and if Char-
as doesn't popoas i'll torch him how to
do IL'
Although women have the right to
propose in leap year, there is no law that
compsla the loan to say yes. This fact
ought to enemiesge the young men to
stand firm. j)
For several yuan pest it has been cus-
tomary for young men to shoot the girl
who refuses to marry them. Of course
this year the girls will be justified in
t urging the tables
A medical writer says that girls ars so
onetraded that they eannet jump- This
writer is advise to jet wait said after
January 1st and see whether they can
leap or not.
A young man has applied for a di-
g ••roe, allegwg that his wde forced tum
to marry her. This statement, and the
fact that lwtpryesr is un wall nape tii.0
N11WBPAPIR RSPORTRR, ' They all tell the seen- sun). W.
T k U.1 t! „1 f
• TH•.ge ae gibe .M Wine saasre.d, Ra-
mmage
Reporters dear in man,ys. >iu.uu
orb purely deeeeiplipe ; is ,true • busup
of humor is awal*csstlel developed ;
surge penaeate a story, short or tong,
with medicos at petsuaslitr Others are
stat -hien in recital, sad make the:r
Aeries as pirjuant as ay ideebraio prob-
lem. A good reporter, jetted e'itb
mucus' spines sed health, is & thins • f
beauty and s joy forever io may *al -
reguisted nuwspywr o1M.a. Every .1.•or
M open to Tout, •u.l the ht•1.1 ..f I:fe is
spread before him with its .uwluuc and
its ahrdow. Iia the course of •u et et►-
ing ho talks with presidents and /laths
with priories ; be bas aith the ...tees
tut aid suoutisa with the huw1.h'. lu
church tv day,.su *al t- :sorrow ; u a Ili
1 dancit e r:rh Sri, Ila treni, 1 ;
deep d. -•n ut &el ata with seri: tet
miter. s.. n, o ultimo Arewiy. N.'w be
inters arra a IaMaaw ef the land,
tow takes the dying deposition of *
butchered thief. Pant of the eveuitlg :S
spout i11 Om cathedral fear, pert is •
political sututiug, port In police hest,
quarters, part in the dehsis a.t a railr,sd
collision N. place is ten same, none
too lowly • uu man is 1..o sigh, 4w ride,
too Kurt far hies to a ,p' tch ; none lsw,
humble, too pu.r fur liar to serve. He
is as much at hove tt' eke I :lace of s
millionaire as its • hospital mini Of a
prisms. Ile writes with equal readiness
the glib utterances .d a bretailed Isdhoi,
and the harr"wiag cw,fession of a poor
devil in the Tomb.. A good reporter
must Imo discreet. How much be hears
be cannot tell- how nisch he knows it
would not he fair for him to reveal ! He
sees the best and worst types of moiety,
and bas his hand more constantly upon
the pulse td affairs than any (sinister,
lawyer, dieter, or merchant. The work
of the Animism reporter speaks volumes
daily fair itself. Nue sad then one is
decei•ed and misted, fooled ; but by
men at large, from Maine to Ueorgia,
firm New Ytark u, t Meson, the Ameri-
can reporter h•.lds his ow. in the inter-
esting, the instructive and entertaiuing.
M.e/lag al lee Try.
In one of his inimitable sketches, Nie-
men Marked presents us with a story td
the members of two rival Scottish sects,
which is an full chit meaning to the lifer-
ent branches of the Church of to -day as
an ancient parahb
"( mind," said Davids ''twa neigh -
bars of ours, and yell mind thele, tee
,rude wife ; that was John Helton and
Andrew (hobble. The one was a keen
young tame ?ogle very nervous. burgher and the tither was an amtn-
The garbs bare already fumed their burgher. Beitb lived in the acme house,
plena i0: Ieap•ye.r. To the bashful lover , though at .:'(Grreet ends, and it was the
they will say, 'Du pi like home-made bargain that each should keep his aio
Woad r It he says 'YM,' the reply will side of the house eve well thatched.
ha, 'Well I mon Oahe,' Tim it M
doesn't tate the hibt they are to seize
both his hands, fail s.a their knees lied
put the question direct.
Throe are filled I Fargo.
The tet blood purifier and system re-
gulator ever placed within the reach
,uferia g humanity, truly u Meet ric B of
t'rg. Tnectirity of the liver, Bilionsneit
Jaundice, Constipation, Weak Kidney's
any disease of the urinary organs, or
wha'ever rooms au appetizer, lassie or
peed .ttntulant, wilt always find Metric
Ikittrn the beat and oaty certalu sore
known, They sing surely and quickly,
every brittle gusrax/seed to give entire
sstisfmtion or magueyrefundeu. Meld at
fifty rents a bottle 4v J. tVilesn. fel
But they happened to &sputa so keenly
about the principles of their kirks, that
at last they quarreled and didn't speak
at a'. So one day, after this, as they
were on the roof thatching, each on his
aio aide, they reached the top, and look-
ed over fate to lace. What could they
do I They could nee flee. •Sus, at last,
Andrew took off his Ktlasarncck cap,
and, scrattbing his bead, said: 'Johnnie,
you and me. I think have bees 'very
foolish to dispute as we halo alexest f..r-
ttut,His will .bunt ourselves ; sad so we
hae emelt sae bitterly for whit we ca'
the truth, that it ha• ended in spite.
Whatever is wrong, it u perfectly con --
tent that it CAA hover be tight to be un-
civil., ienesighbnurie, unkind; in fact to
bete owe saintlier. Na. ns, that* the
teatrtl.a)e4an. deems walrk, sad re. fle..l's. Neu, it
ierikes se, that it's rid' the kirk as 5i'
estriingoistn is declared by an „pert ' tin. hese.. Ye are workingon ane
to bet'Miry latreety a hu4tbuv. There is �' "'d me on tither, but if we cnly
Dao such p'sinihty as throwing the r••iee de -r *eels well, we'll meet at the top
to • distance. The old stories of 11'y- %t last, Cir su ln.wr pari , •,u.11 uciq-..
nen, the wizard, u) which'hc figured as I'm • " -
•iploitiuY such ability in Nye midst "f • The two Deitthhoors shook hands across _J
croa of were nccsssrsly tietion.' Wl.at the ridge ad the thatch, and their friend) U
ship, time rruewef, ever after motioned
l!sa•e•iarf reMriltaognuut conosiats trmidy I , (}
of Mildewy and facie) immobility. The nr•1't'"krlt. . .
p('e�rformer must be son►• distance away
ttl .0
his audience, or be is powerless.
Whenever he wishes:to make t em be-
lieve that his voice sounds at a distance
titnempY eI, Jews 1, 11 t, H1 . a. ,.ar
sari rw.i yspepwtr, gni no relief out
• need lh, lirtee.. ttturt.aalt bates.
He says it ens lasts the emelis uw I 'weal
elf. It lira owed aur.
T1Na-a-4. Nr ass.
T. 1V. Artistes, Girard, Kea-, writes :
' ever hesitate 1.. i w 51 ,seed away
gleam flier' a to my u.-sl..nter., i :ey
gave *Mire f .stremon and are rai,i.l
sell's.' !: • I. to Hitler. are the purest
and beet t..esw•ue ku.o.0 anti will posi-
tively cure Itsdusiy and Liter emuplasuts
Purity the bleed dud regulate the insure!.
No fautily can afford to tat with .ut thorn
They wiU mire sundreds "1 dollars in`
s1..ceor's bila every year. lead at Sects,
goo's. ley J. Wi s.•u. [Zj
1c1ORY °VERA
DPW*"
iT IS NO HUMBUG, BUT REALITY.
That Diphtheria la me of the nost danger-
ous dieessasad sane•Ily s*e.psaway thous-
ands of cblldrea, is a fact which no one cat
dewy. sad that doctors la man•, else, are
pywrriess against it 5Jwt as true. A use.U-
• oe that Is a errtr n and sore . tire for
this da•gero.0 gust rontagis,us disease should
be hailed with Joy and earruls wekotued by
every family. for use in theme( need. A con-
Aaaratioa is much more easily checked at the
begin -ting than atter k has ralard headway.
14o it is with this disease. Keen medicine on
isandeand do not wait t. it totate. :Saa.b
a medic -toe le ofern.i the uw, e entitle in DIM.
I.AMM r$ DIPHTHERi-t, and ('ROUP REM-
EDY. We arethurougidr cuuylnced 5644 N
will answer Ila purpose. f,•ttere palest* nate
been takes sot for the "'!"«° of Canada.
sad precautions aro taken that no one will imi-
tate it. a'r kindly astlGsvtkal nsen to sive
Oda Pentesd)* a trial. Testimclnirhs, circulars
and trial bottles sent nn appiy1ng for.
Address Rer. H. dolI:IlL_,\MM ylinigh P.O.
Ontario.
Pe feet, Positive sad P4aumizent are
the rites efeuted ►y Dr. Vats Burma's
Kidney Cure. Melte! r.. .' ..mor. of Kid -
awry IAs.sae is otstatywl •1... a its. ,t,yss.
Soo 1h•lt your Ih'Yyttj st 4., es you Uri
Veit Burets's lutiu.•s l'un• r d by J
W do"n. Oudertch _ w
As Ors is the demon is w' brigbtet
Mt to the wandering Arab than • bottle
),. Ven Huron's Kidney Cure it to
the . .'urtunate sufferer from Kidney
Dimes.). It is a perfect, positive and
mrit cure. Mold by J. Willemch 901
Te the 111•41ffel Peelers'u• and aft whose
11 W roaster.
Phoshauaq
nt, ur Nerve teem, A Ph-•
pima. Elemetnt bated upon ScientiIS
Ftigts, Formulated lay Prettiest.* Austin,
M. D. of Boston, Maas cures Pulm"n-
afy C .nawupttou, SickHeadache, Ner-
vous Attacks, Vertigt. and Neuralgia
and all wasting diseases of the huuuo
system. Phoaphatine is nut a Medeciae.
but a Nutriment, beculw it contains no
Vegetable or ltiueral Poison., ()pietas,
Ntrc..tics, and tat, Stimulants, but situp
ly the Phosphatic awl Oaring Eleweuts
found in our daily Good. A single b Atte
is sutlleivat to convince. All Druggists
sell it. $1.00 per bottle. Lumens
Co.. sale agent, for the Du„tnlo;n.
dui Fried Street E sit Tenant •,
As the bores..! sinter t ewe
the cals.r c legume/we .4 t..r man's t a' -.
so d•.ea bright.. Dlr.a.e, !hugely. .t ..
its the Kidateys ani baa.,t tel, *ate , i a:' t
as.►tiuts of the Knlueyei. Osage h .1;
upon the s1.isst►iatniiios;uf Pr. t um ,ion
Fen's Kidney Cslre. Sold by J. 'Vile ire,
2m
•MaGrJohn R. • Vert, Hamilton, says ' "Me--
Gregor'.
egor'. lasor y Cure for Dyspepsia .end
Indigestion in cheap •t tifty times the
price asked ,ter it. I au, n commercial
assn, and travel continually-, and would
no more think tat !eyeing home with.•uta
h,attle of M!tir.i1a.r's Speedy Pure in my
valise then I would of leaving my team
at home and going en taut." Free trial
bottles at O. Rhyme drag store. Regu-
lar size 50 cgs. and $1. a
F.r Mte,ling R. Remi kW Ness able.
merles. *at.
ALLAN LIN E
oar
Keil el. MAIL STEa1LSHIPe
a) IS PNDERRT-1;LA1 .eta
Every Thursday From Portland.
July >, lee>< sedans : Ivory Saturday from Halifax
Ins sA�BRs Soliq ITaa SteskT&'T Kgs HUt'TY To ANP Fiore!
!J U J]j�ll7 IJ ENGLAND.
SPEED, COMFORT AND SAFETY
-- UNSURPASSED.
FAMOUS ROYAL.
5 -
cc
he lower it and Indic -4M the direction
for their imagination to take. He can
Rsw's'. a7ntd LIRNNat i
Is thc• only inatentanethie w1!ef for Nisei
ralgia, Hesisleplte, Tutdhe:hr, etc. Taub-
bing a few sin.ps btiakty is all that is
:feedetl, taking nanse..:u ntwlicin•.s II
deceive them sideways, upwards, down- for week., Lin rete iui.•ate'r application
want, or backward, but he never under- removes all ;outs anti :rad trove the great
ms
takes to produce the effect of s speaker valva of Kr:,'Pluwl Ll.hltlin:. 25
at their rear. Te a listener class by ne cotta per I .-'ale .t George Rhyuas drug
centrilswjuist can be in the leant decay store. b
tire. Nor is there any troth in the the-
•.ry that he talks with the top of his Ent. Mrs. .1. McPhee, Appiu. writes : -
let, for with aught elite than the organ. During the les; eight yeah I have used
intended by name to he vocal. By held almost ever) medicine recommended fur
ing his lapses lied as possible, and arced Nimmons. but f"and nothing equal to
itrg tach wo.ttis as cannot he pronounce[! Cerwnt'a ,4'lted21. if you war try it
wrtli, elipably moving them, he assists trice :